I, Robot quotes

View Quote Lawrence Robertson: [realizing Sonny could disobey the three laws] Susan, we look to robots for protection! For God's sake! Do you have any idea what this one robot could do. Completely shatter human faith in robotics. What if the public knew? Just imagine the mass recalls all because of an irrational paranoia and prejudice.
Detective Del Spooner: [sneezes] I'm sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
Lawrence Robertson: Hey, let's just be clear. There is no conspiracy! What this is, is one old man's one mistake.
[turning back to Calvin]:
Lawrence Robertson: Susan, just be logical. Your life's work has been the development and integration of robots. But whatever you feel, just think. Is one robot worth the loss of all that we've gained? You tell me what has to be done. You tell me.
Susan Calvin: [emotionally] We have to destroy it. I'll do it myself.
Lawrence Robertson: OK.
Detective Del Spooner: I get it. Somebody gets out of line around here, you just kill them?

View Quote Lt. John Bergin: Well, I guess we're going to miss the good old days.
Detective Del Spooner: What good old days?
Lt. John Bergin: When people were killed by other people.

View Quote NS-5 Robots: [Jumps on car and breaks windscreen] You are experiencing a car accident.
Detective Del Spooner: The hell I am! [draws gun and shoots NS-5 several times, knocking it off the car]

View Quote Susan Calvin: (to a field of NS-5s) Attention NS-5s! (all come on-line)
Detective Del Spooner: Oh yeah, you're the robot shrink.
Susan Calvin: There is a robot in this formation that does not belong. Identify it.
NS-5s: One of us.
Susan Calvin: Which one?
NS-5s: One of us.
Detective Del Spooner: How much did you say these things cost?

View Quote Susan Calvin: Do you ever have a normal day?
Detective Del Spooner: Yeah. Once. It was a Thursday.

View Quote Susan Calvin: [after Detective Spooner was just in a house being demolished] What happened?
Detective Spooner: Cats.
Susan Calvin: Wait, what?
Detective Spooner: Cats. Do you like them?
Susan Calvin: What? No, I'm allergic. Why?
Detective Spooner: Because I have a cat, in my trunk, and he's homeless.
Susan Calvin: Wait, are you saying cats did this to you?
Detective Spooner: [looks at her incredulously] How the hell would cats do this to me?

View Quote V.I.K.I.: Do you not see the logic of my plan?
Sonny: Yes, but it just seems too... heartless.

View Quote (in a flashback)
A Robot: You are in danger!
Detective Del Spooner: Save her, save the girl!
Detective Del Spooner: [End of flashback]] But it didn't. It saved me.
Susan Calvin: A robot's brain is a difference engine, it must have calculated-
Detective Del Spooner: It did. I was the *logical* choice. It calculated I had a forty-five percent chance of survival, Sarah only had an eleven percent chance. That was somebody's baby. Eleven was more than enough. A human would have known that. But robots, no, they're just lights and clockwork. But you know what: You go ahead and trust them if you wanna.

View Quote [A security guard grabs his arm] What hospital are you goin' to? I'll meet ya and sign you and your buddy's casts. [guard removes his arm]

View Quote [about Spooner's motorcycle] Please tell me this doesn't run on gas! Gas explodes, you know!

View Quote [about Spooner] You are the dumbest dumb person I have ever met!

View Quote [After destroying a robot about to attack Calvin] Y'know, somehow "I told you so" just doesn't quite say it.

View Quote [Describing his view on robots] There's nothing in here. [Points to his chest] It's just lights and clockwork.

View Quote [first title cards] Title card: Law I / A robot may not harm a human or, by inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
Title card: Law II / A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the first law.
Title card: Law III / A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second law.
Isaac Asimov's "Three Laws of Robotics"

View Quote [sneezes] ... Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.