ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

[Alan, Hugh, Joan and Joan's friend, Helen, are having a conversation about workplace romance]
Hugh Alexander: So who do you agree with? Alan or myself?
Helen: Well, Alan, of course.
Alan Turing: [stammering] I'm very flattered really, but I... I don't think that... [Joan kicks him under the table]
Hugh Alexander: Rubbish.
Helen: Well, I work beside a man every day, and I can't help but have developed a bit of a crush on him.
Hugh Alexander: Well, who is this man? So I can kick his arse.
Helen: Oh, there's no need to worry, it's been chaste. We've never even met. He's a German.
Hugh Alexander: Now I really want to kill him.
[Helen chuckles]
Alan Turing: Er... How... How do you mean you work alongside a German?
Helen: Well, each of us intercepts messages from a specific German radio tower. So we have a counterpart on the other side, who's tip-tapping out the messages. Everyone types a touch differently, so you get to know the rhythm of your counterpart. It's strangely intimate. I feel as if I know him so well. It's a pity he has a girlfriend, but that's why I disagree with you, Mr. Alexander, because I'm in love with a coworker of sorts and we've never even met.
Hugh Alexander: Well, allow me to buy you another pint and I'll tell you why you're wrong.
Helen: Let's.
Hugh Alexander: Excellent.
[They get up and head to the bar. As they order, Alan sits completely silently, in a daze - having come to a realisation]
Joan Clarke: In case you were wondering, that's what flirting looks like.
Alan Turing: [loudly] HELEN!!
Joan Clarke: [slightly embarrassed, as his shout has drawn attention to them] Alan!
Helen: Yes, Alan?
Alan Turing: [gets up and faces her] Why do you think your German counterpart has a girlfriend?
Helen: It's just a stupid joke. Don't worry about it.
Alan Turing: No, no, no, no, no, tell me.
Helen: Well, each of his messages begins with the same five letters. C-I-L-L-Y. So I suspect that Cilly must be the name of his amore.
[By this point, Joan, Peter Hilton and John Cairncross have begun to catch on]
Alan Turing: But that's impossible. The Germans are instructed to use five random letters at the start of every message.
Helen: Well, this bloke doesn't.
Hugh Alexander: Love will make a man do strange things, I suppose.
Alan Turing: In this case.... Love just lost Germany the whole bloody war!
[He rushes off, barging into Hugh and causing him to spill the pints he has just bought on Helen. John, Peter and Joan rush off after him and Hugh, realising what has happened, apologises and dashes off after them]


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