Multiple Characters quotes
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SETI Chief: [Picks up ringing phone in the middle of the night] If this isn't an insanely beautiful woman, I'm hanging up.
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SETI Technician: It's the real thing! A radio signal from another world!
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Connie Spano: Our official position is: We have no official position.
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Mike Dodge: [To reporter, about Russell] When they took him up in the spaceship, the aliens abused him...sexually.
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Phillip: [To Alicia Casse] This could be our last night on earth. You don't want to die a virgin, do you?
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Anchorman: Once again, the L.A.P.D. is asking Los Angelenos not to fire their guns at the visitor spacecraft. You may inadvertently trigger an interstellar war.
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Elvis Enthusiast: Oh, I hope they bring back Elvis!
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John McLaughlin: The visitors have arrived, but the president remains at the White House. Question: Are Mr. Whitmore's actions A, ultra-brave or B, fool-hardy?
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Marty Gilbert: [As the shock wave from the alien weapon approaches] Oh, crap.
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Cpt. Jimmy Wilder: Let's kick the tires and light the fires, big daddy!
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Cpt. Jimmy Wilder: He's on me like white on rice, big daddy!
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Albert Nimzicki: Two words, Mr. President: "Plausible deniability".
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Dr. Okun: Mr. President! Wow! This is…what a pleasure. As you can imagine, they…they don't let us out much.
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Dr. Okun: [Before showing the aliens to the President Whitmore] This is the vault. Or as some of us have come to call it: The Freak Show.
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Captured Alien: [Speaking through Dr. Okun] Release...me. Release me. Now. Now!
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Albert Nimzicki: [Jumps up after a nuclear missile hits a city-destroyer] Oh, yeah! It's a hit!
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Major Mitchell: You'll have to forgive the expression, but you're about to get a crash course in modern avionics.
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Connie Spano: Now he gets ambitious.
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President Whitmore: I have a confession to make. I'm sleeping next to a beautiful young brunette.
Marilyn Whitmore: You didn't let her stay up all night watching TV, did you?
President Whitmore: Of course not.
[…]
Patricia Whitmore: Daddy let me watch Letterman.
President Whitmore: Traitor.
Marilyn Whitmore: You didn't let her stay up all night watching TV, did you?
President Whitmore: Of course not.
[…]
Patricia Whitmore: Daddy let me watch Letterman.
President Whitmore: Traitor.
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[Julius drinks from a styrofoam cup]
David Levinson: Hey, you have any idea how long it takes for those cups to decompose?
Julius Levinson: If you don't move [your chess piece] soon, I'm gonna start to decompose.
David Levinson: Hey, you have any idea how long it takes for those cups to decompose?
Julius Levinson: If you don't move [your chess piece] soon, I'm gonna start to decompose.
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[The alien ship passes overhead, shaking them awake]
Captain Steven Hiller: Is it a earthquake?
Jasmine Dubrow: Not even a four pointer. Go back to sleep.
Captain Steven Hiller: Is it a earthquake?
Jasmine Dubrow: Not even a four pointer. Go back to sleep.
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Connie Spano: Now what do we do?
President Thomas Whitmore: Address the nation. There's gonna be a lot of frightened people out there.
Connie Spano: Yeah? I'm one of 'em.
President Thomas Whitmore: Address the nation. There's gonna be a lot of frightened people out there.
Connie Spano: Yeah? I'm one of 'em.
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Marty Gilbert: A countdown…wait, a countdown to what, David?
David Levinson: Uh, it's like in chess: First, you strategically position your pieces and when the timing is right you… strike. See? They're positioning themselves all over the world using this signal to synchronize their efforts. In approximately six hours the signal's gonna disappear and the countdown's gonna be over.
Marty Gilbert: And then what?
David Levinson: Checkmate.
Marty Gilbert: [Gasp] Oh, my God. Oh my God! I gotta call my brother, I'd better call my housekeeper, I gotta call my lawyer. Nah, forget my lawyer.
David Levinson: Uh, it's like in chess: First, you strategically position your pieces and when the timing is right you… strike. See? They're positioning themselves all over the world using this signal to synchronize their efforts. In approximately six hours the signal's gonna disappear and the countdown's gonna be over.
Marty Gilbert: And then what?
David Levinson: Checkmate.
Marty Gilbert: [Gasp] Oh, my God. Oh my God! I gotta call my brother, I'd better call my housekeeper, I gotta call my lawyer. Nah, forget my lawyer.
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Capt. Jimmy Wilder: You scared, man?
Captain Steven Hiller: No. You?
Capt. Jimmy Wilder: Nope. (pauses) Hold me.
Captain Steven Hiller: Hey, pay attention.
Lt. Colonel Watson: Something you wanna add to this briefing, Captain Hiller?
Captain Steven Hiller: No, sir. I'm just a little anxious to get up there and whup E.T.'s ass, that's all.
(everyone else laughs)
Lt. Colonel Watson: And you'll get your chance. You'll all get your chance.
Captain Steven Hiller: No. You?
Capt. Jimmy Wilder: Nope. (pauses) Hold me.
Captain Steven Hiller: Hey, pay attention.
Lt. Colonel Watson: Something you wanna add to this briefing, Captain Hiller?
Captain Steven Hiller: No, sir. I'm just a little anxious to get up there and whup E.T.'s ass, that's all.
(everyone else laughs)
Lt. Colonel Watson: And you'll get your chance. You'll all get your chance.
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Jasmine Dubrow: There you go, there you go, thinking you're all that. But you are not as charming as you think you are, sir.
Captain Steven Hiller: Yes, I am.
Captain Steven Hiller: Yes, I am.
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Julius Levinson: David, see if they got those pens that they give away.
David Levinson: Dad, what?
David Levinson: Dad, what?
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Cpt. Jimmy Wilder: You scared, man?
Captain Steven Hiller: No. … You?
Cpt. Jimmy Wilder: Nope. … hold me!
Captain Steven Hiller: No. … You?
Cpt. Jimmy Wilder: Nope. … hold me!
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Captain Jimmy Wilder: Or, as the good Reverend would say, [Impersonating Rev. Jesse Jackson] Why we're on this particular mission, we'll never know. But I do know, here today, that the Black Knights will emerge victorious once again.
Unknown Pilot: Amen, man.
Captain Steven Hiller: Amen, Reverend.
Unknown Pilot: Amen, man.
Captain Steven Hiller: Amen, Reverend.
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Captain Jimmy Wilder: Check me out, Stevie. I'm gonna try something.
Captain Steven Hiller: Don't do nothin' stupid over there.
Captain Jimmy Wilder: You know me.
Captain Steven Hiller: That's what I'm talkin' about.
Captain Steven Hiller: Don't do nothin' stupid over there.
Captain Jimmy Wilder: You know me.
Captain Steven Hiller: That's what I'm talkin' about.
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[David, Connie, Grey, and Nimzicki are all taking at once, after David objects to them using nuclear weapons]
Albert Nimzicki: Shut up! Captain, get him out of here!
Julius Levinson: Hey, don't tell him to shut up! You'd all be dead now if it wasn't for my David! None of you did anything to prevent this!
General Grey: There was nothing we could do! We were totally unprepared for this.
Julius Levinson: Oh don't give me "unprepared"! It was, what? In the nineteen- what, fifties. Whatever You had that spaceship.
David Levinson: Dad.
Julius Levinson: Yeah, that thing you found in New Mexico. Where was that?
David Levinson: Dad, not the spaceship.
Julius Levinson: Roswell. Roswell, New Mexico. No, you had the spaceship and you had the bodies. They were locked up in a, in a bunker. Where was that?
Connie Spano: Sir…I don't know.
Julius Levinson: David? Area 51, right? Area 51! You knew then! And you did nothing!
President Whitmore: Sir, regardless of what you may have read in the tabloids, there has never been any spacecraft recovered by our government. Take my word for it. There's no Area 51. There's no recovered spaceship.
Albert Nimzicki: Uh…excuse me, Mr. President. That's not entirely accurate.
David Levinson: What, which part?
Albert Nimzicki: Shut up! Captain, get him out of here!
Julius Levinson: Hey, don't tell him to shut up! You'd all be dead now if it wasn't for my David! None of you did anything to prevent this!
General Grey: There was nothing we could do! We were totally unprepared for this.
Julius Levinson: Oh don't give me "unprepared"! It was, what? In the nineteen- what, fifties. Whatever You had that spaceship.
David Levinson: Dad.
Julius Levinson: Yeah, that thing you found in New Mexico. Where was that?
David Levinson: Dad, not the spaceship.
Julius Levinson: Roswell. Roswell, New Mexico. No, you had the spaceship and you had the bodies. They were locked up in a, in a bunker. Where was that?
Connie Spano: Sir…I don't know.
Julius Levinson: David? Area 51, right? Area 51! You knew then! And you did nothing!
President Whitmore: Sir, regardless of what you may have read in the tabloids, there has never been any spacecraft recovered by our government. Take my word for it. There's no Area 51. There's no recovered spaceship.
Albert Nimzicki: Uh…excuse me, Mr. President. That's not entirely accurate.
David Levinson: What, which part?
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President Whitmore: I don't understand, where does all this come from? How do you get funding for something like this?
Julius Levinson: You don't actually think they spend $20,000 on a hammer, $30,000 on a toilet seat, do you?
Julius Levinson: You don't actually think they spend $20,000 on a hammer, $30,000 on a toilet seat, do you?
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Captain Steven Hiller: Captain Steven Hiller, United States Marine Corps.
Area 51 Guard: I'm sorry, Captain. This is a restricted area. I can't let you pass without clearance.
Captain Steven Hiller: Okay. Come here. You wanna see my clearance? [Shows the officer the alien wrapped up in his parachute; the guard recoils in horror] Maybe I'll just leave this here with you.
Area 51 Guard: Let them pass! Let them pass!
Captain Steven Hiller: Get the hell out of the way!
Area 51 Guard: [To another guard] Did you see that?!
Area 51 Guard: I'm sorry, Captain. This is a restricted area. I can't let you pass without clearance.
Captain Steven Hiller: Okay. Come here. You wanna see my clearance? [Shows the officer the alien wrapped up in his parachute; the guard recoils in horror] Maybe I'll just leave this here with you.
Area 51 Guard: Let them pass! Let them pass!
Captain Steven Hiller: Get the hell out of the way!
Area 51 Guard: [To another guard] Did you see that?!
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Marilyn Whitmore: He's your son?
Jasmine Dubrow: He's my angel.
Marilyn Whitmore: Was his father stationed here?
Jasmine Dubrow: Nah, he, uh, he wasn't his father. But I was kinda hopin' he wanted the job, though.
Jasmine Dubrow: He's my angel.
Marilyn Whitmore: Was his father stationed here?
Jasmine Dubrow: Nah, he, uh, he wasn't his father. But I was kinda hopin' he wanted the job, though.
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Marilyn Whitmore: I didn't know that you'd recognized me.
Jasmine Dubrow: Well, I didn't wanna say nothing. I voted for the other guy.
Jasmine Dubrow: Well, I didn't wanna say nothing. I voted for the other guy.
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President:I know there is much to learn from each other if we can make a truce. We can find a way to Co-exist. can there be a peace between us?
Alien:Peace? NO PEACE!
President Whitmore: What is it you want us to do?
Captured Alien: Die…die…
Alien:Peace? NO PEACE!
President Whitmore: What is it you want us to do?
Captured Alien: Die…die…
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[After hearing about the plan to nuke the aliens, David is trying to get drunk]
David Levinson: Just my luck. No ice.
Connie Spano: I take it you've heard?
David Levinson: Hey, a toast. To the end of the world!
David Levinson: Just my luck. No ice.
Connie Spano: I take it you've heard?
David Levinson: Hey, a toast. To the end of the world!
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Connie Spano: Haven't you ever wanted to be part of something special?
David Levinson: I was part of something special.
David Levinson: I was part of something special.
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Connie Spano: If it makes any difference, I never stopped loving you
David Levinson: But that wasn't enough, was it?
David Levinson: But that wasn't enough, was it?
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[Steve sees an unattended helicopter and gets in]
Burly Soldier: [Pointing his gun at him] What the hell are you doing? Get out of there!
Captain Steven Hiller: Look, I got something I gotta handle, I'm just borrowing it.
Burly Soldier: No you're not, Sir
Captain Steven Hiller: Do you really want to shoot me?
[Pause, then he lowers the gun]
Captain Steven Hiller: Just tell 'em I hit you
[Soldier gives him a look saying, 'who would believe that?']
Bomber PilotMr President this is RetailOp! Squadron is in the air and procceding to target.
Burly Soldier: [Pointing his gun at him] What the hell are you doing? Get out of there!
Captain Steven Hiller: Look, I got something I gotta handle, I'm just borrowing it.
Burly Soldier: No you're not, Sir
Captain Steven Hiller: Do you really want to shoot me?
[Pause, then he lowers the gun]
Captain Steven Hiller: Just tell 'em I hit you
[Soldier gives him a look saying, 'who would believe that?']
Bomber PilotMr President this is RetailOp! Squadron is in the air and procceding to target.
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David Levinson: You really think you can fly that thing?
Captain Steven Hiller: You really think you can do all that bullshit you just said?
Captain Steven Hiller: You really think you can do all that bullshit you just said?
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Albert Nimzicki: I understand you are upset over the death of your wife, but that's no excuse for making another fatal mistake.
President Whitmore: No, the only mistake I ever made to appoint a sniveling little weasel like you as Secretary of Defense!
Albert Nimzicki: I don't think you understand-
President Whitmore: HOWEVER, that is one mistake, I am thankful to say, that I don't have to live with.
Albert Nimzicki: Mr. President-
President Whitmore: Mr. Nimzicki… you're fired.
[He and General Grey leave to work on their attack plan]
Albert Nimzicki: He can't do that.
Connie Spano: Well, he just, um, did.
President Whitmore: No, the only mistake I ever made to appoint a sniveling little weasel like you as Secretary of Defense!
Albert Nimzicki: I don't think you understand-
President Whitmore: HOWEVER, that is one mistake, I am thankful to say, that I don't have to live with.
Albert Nimzicki: Mr. President-
President Whitmore: Mr. Nimzicki… you're fired.
[He and General Grey leave to work on their attack plan]
Albert Nimzicki: He can't do that.
Connie Spano: Well, he just, um, did.
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Captain Steven Hiller: Oops.
David Levinson: Oops? What does that mean? W-what do you mean-
Captain Steven Hiller: Nah, I got this. I got this. Some jerk didn't put the… [He reverses the label on the controls]
David Levinson: I know what I mean when I say it. What do you mean saying "oops" there?
Captain Steven Hiller: What do you say we try that one again?
David Levinson: Yes, yes. Yes. Without the "oops". [points] There's the … thataway.
David Levinson: Oops? What does that mean? W-what do you mean-
Captain Steven Hiller: Nah, I got this. I got this. Some jerk didn't put the… [He reverses the label on the controls]
David Levinson: I know what I mean when I say it. What do you mean saying "oops" there?
Captain Steven Hiller: What do you say we try that one again?
David Levinson: Yes, yes. Yes. Without the "oops". [points] There's the … thataway.
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David Levinson: I was counting on this. They are bringing us in.
Captain Steven Hiller: When the hell was you gonna tell me?
David Levinson: Oops.
Captain Steven Hiller: We're going to work on our communication.
Captain Steven Hiller: When the hell was you gonna tell me?
David Levinson: Oops.
Captain Steven Hiller: We're going to work on our communication.
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[The window on the spacecraft is opening, revealing Hiller and Levinson to the aliens]
Captain Steven Hiller: Hey, what the hell are you doing?
David Levinson: It's not me, they're overriding the system. Oh… shit! Um, hide.
[They duck behind their seats]
Captain Steven Hiller: Hey, what the hell are you doing?
David Levinson: It's not me, they're overriding the system. Oh… shit! Um, hide.
[They duck behind their seats]
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David Levinson: Hey, all right, look at us! Take a look at the Earthlings. Good-bye!
Captain Steven Hiller: Y'all take care, all right! 'Nothing but love for ya. Nothing by love for ya. [to David] You think they have any clue what's about to happen to 'em?
David Levinson: [With a cigar clamped between his teeth] Not a chance in hell. Goodnight!
Captain Steven Hiller: Y'all take care, all right! 'Nothing but love for ya. Nothing by love for ya. [to David] You think they have any clue what's about to happen to 'em?
David Levinson: [With a cigar clamped between his teeth] Not a chance in hell. Goodnight!
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Captain Steven Hiller: I ain't heard no fat lady!
David Levinson: Forget the fat lady! You're obsessed with fat lady! Drive us out of here!
David Levinson: Forget the fat lady! You're obsessed with fat lady! Drive us out of here!
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Patricia Whitmore: Happy Fourth of July, Daddy.
President Whitmore: Same to you, Munchkin.
President Whitmore: Same to you, Munchkin.