ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

[Hogarth opens the door and sees Kent Mansley.]
Kent: Hey there, scout. Kent Mansley. I work for the government. [Hogarth quickly closes the door and he gasps]
Annie: Hogarth? [Kent knocks and rings the doorbell] Hogarth? [Hogarth opens the door]
Kent: Hey there, scout. Kent Mansley. [smile disappears] Work for the government. Your parents home?
Hogarth: We're eating.
Kent: Mmm, boy.
Annie: Who's there, honey?
Kent: [stares at Annie's chest; huskily] Well, hello there. [clears throat and regains composure] Do you have a telephone I could use?
Annie: Yes, there's one in the kitchen.
Kent: Well, thank you. Thank you very much. [to Hogarth] Here. [puts his fedora on Hogarth's head] Pretend you're a gangster. [chuckles]
[Kent calls General Rogard's home phone number. The general picks up while watching a western on TV.]
General Rogard: [annoyed] Damn it, Mansley, you called me at home for this?
Kent: You don't understand, sir. It-it-it-- It ate my car!
General Rogard: And you saw this happen?
Kent: No, I didn't actually see it. It went off into the... woods.
General Rogard: So, you don't have any evidence.
Kent: But-But sir, I've got an eyewitness!
General Rogard: An eyewitness with a concussion.
Kent: [shouts] This thing i--! [covers his mouth and lowers his voice] This thing is a menace. It-It-It-It tore up a power station and-- [phone falls, and he picks up] --and caused a train wreck!
General Rogard: What did? Tell me again, Mansley, and this time, listen to yourself.
Kent: [sighs; wearily] A giant metal monster. [Rogard guffaws on the other end. Kent turns around a kitchen mitt that seems to mock him.] Please, sir. I've got a feeling about this one.
General Rogard: That's lovely, Kent. But let me try to explain how this works: If you told me you'd found, say, um, a giant footprint, I might send over an expert to make a plaster cast of it. Hell, you get me a photograph of this thing and I could probably get some troops over there! But you tell me you've got a feeling.
Kent: All right, then fine. You want evidence? I'll get you evidence, and when I do, I'm gonna want a memo distributed.
General Rogard: [dryly] That sounds swell, Kent.
Kent: I'm gonna want that memo carbon-copied, and redistributed, [Rogard hangs up.] and-- [Kent stops, and tries to hang up the phone, which falls off the receiver, twice; he gets angry, yelling incoherently and bangs the phone against the receiver several times, then composes himself.] Hi. Thanks for the use of your phone. [goes outside the door and puts his fedora back on.] Well, thank you for the use of your phone, Mrs.--?
Annie: Hughes. Annie Hughes. And this is my son, Hogarth.
Kent: Thank you, Annie. Hobart.
Hogarth: That's Hogarth! [grumbles irritably]
[Kent gets into his government-issue car and starts driving.]
Kent: "Hogarth"? What an embarrassing name. Might as well call him Zeppo or something. What kind of a sick person would name their kid Hogar--? [stops and looks over to Hogarth's smashed B-B gun which says "Hog Hug," instead of "Hogarth Hughes." ] "Hog Hug". "HOG HUG"?! [realizes] HOGARTH HUGHES!


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