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Fury: You've been very busy. You made your girl your CEO, you're giving away all your stuff, you let your friend fly away with your suit. Now, if I knew better—
Tony: You don't know better. I didn't give it to him. He took it.
Fury: Whoa-whoa-whoa, he took it? You're Iron Man, and he just took it? Little brother walked in there, kicked your ass and took your suit? [Turns to Natasha] Is that possible?
Natasha: Well, according to Mr. Stark's database security guidelines, there are redundancies to prevent unauthorized access…
Tony: What do you want from me?
Fury: What do we want from you? Uh uh. What do you want from me? You have become a problem, a problem I have to deal with. Contrary to your belief, you are not the center of my universe. I have bigger problems in the southwest region to deal with. Hit him.
[Natasha sticks a syringe into Tony's neck and injects him with something]
Tony: Oh God, are you gonna steal my kidney and sell it? Could you please not do anything awful for five seconds? What did she just do to me?
Fury: What did we just do for you. That's lithium dioxide. Gonna take the edge off. We're trying to get you back to work.
Tony: Gimme a couple boxes of that, I'll be right as rain.
Natasha: It's not a cure. Just abates the symptoms.
Fury: Doesn't look like it's gonna be an easy fix.
Tony: You don't know better. I didn't give it to him. He took it.
Fury: Whoa-whoa-whoa, he took it? You're Iron Man, and he just took it? Little brother walked in there, kicked your ass and took your suit? [Turns to Natasha] Is that possible?
Natasha: Well, according to Mr. Stark's database security guidelines, there are redundancies to prevent unauthorized access…
Tony: What do you want from me?
Fury: What do we want from you? Uh uh. What do you want from me? You have become a problem, a problem I have to deal with. Contrary to your belief, you are not the center of my universe. I have bigger problems in the southwest region to deal with. Hit him.
[Natasha sticks a syringe into Tony's neck and injects him with something]
Tony: Oh God, are you gonna steal my kidney and sell it? Could you please not do anything awful for five seconds? What did she just do to me?
Fury: What did we just do for you. That's lithium dioxide. Gonna take the edge off. We're trying to get you back to work.
Tony: Gimme a couple boxes of that, I'll be right as rain.
Natasha: It's not a cure. Just abates the symptoms.
Fury: Doesn't look like it's gonna be an easy fix.
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Hammer: [After walking into the room where Vanko is working] Hey, there he is! It's the bird man. Now you like the bird. Is that right? Is that your bird? I'm confused. You said it wasn't, but now it looks like you're best of pals. You love that bird, don't you? You know what? [To the guards] Take the bird. [One guard takes the bird away from Vanko]
Vanko: Hey! [The guard puts the bird into a bag]
Hammer: [To the guards again] Take his pillows, too. Both of them. [The other guard take Vanko's pillows away from him] And his shoes. Take his shoes. [Both guards take Vanko's shoes]. I took your stuff. How does that make you feel? You feel bad? Good. [Angry] 'CAUSE THAT'S HOW I FEEL!!! We had a contract! I saved your life, and you give me suits! That was our deal. And you did not deliver. I don't know if you're a genius or a fraud. I don't know what you are. [Calm] Something really, really great fell into my lap. And if it hadn't, I'd be at your mercy tonight. Now I have a piece of Stark tech that I pimped out myself. And now your overpriced paperweights are gonna look like a backdrop to my demonstration. Do you dig what I'm getting at here?
Vanko: [In Russian]: You talk a bit too much ("Слишком много говоришь");
Hammer: [Sarcastically laughs] I don't know if you know this, [Angry again] BUT I DON'T SPEAK RUSSIAN!!! [calm again] I'm gonna leave now. I'm gonna go to the Expo. Maybe I'll even get laid. [Referring to the guards] You see these guys? They're your babysitters. They are not to be trifled with. When I get back, we're gonna renegotiate the terms of our agreement. And you're gonna make good on our arrangement because if you don't, you're gonna be exactly what you were when I found you: a dead man. You got that? [Pointing to the TV] Maybe you can watch me on TV. [Leaves; Vanko starts looking to the guards, and smiles]
Vanko: Hey! [The guard puts the bird into a bag]
Hammer: [To the guards again] Take his pillows, too. Both of them. [The other guard take Vanko's pillows away from him] And his shoes. Take his shoes. [Both guards take Vanko's shoes]. I took your stuff. How does that make you feel? You feel bad? Good. [Angry] 'CAUSE THAT'S HOW I FEEL!!! We had a contract! I saved your life, and you give me suits! That was our deal. And you did not deliver. I don't know if you're a genius or a fraud. I don't know what you are. [Calm] Something really, really great fell into my lap. And if it hadn't, I'd be at your mercy tonight. Now I have a piece of Stark tech that I pimped out myself. And now your overpriced paperweights are gonna look like a backdrop to my demonstration. Do you dig what I'm getting at here?
Vanko: [In Russian]: You talk a bit too much ("Слишком много говоришь");
Hammer: [Sarcastically laughs] I don't know if you know this, [Angry again] BUT I DON'T SPEAK RUSSIAN!!! [calm again] I'm gonna leave now. I'm gonna go to the Expo. Maybe I'll even get laid. [Referring to the guards] You see these guys? They're your babysitters. They are not to be trifled with. When I get back, we're gonna renegotiate the terms of our agreement. And you're gonna make good on our arrangement because if you don't, you're gonna be exactly what you were when I found you: a dead man. You got that? [Pointing to the TV] Maybe you can watch me on TV. [Leaves; Vanko starts looking to the guards, and smiles]
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Natasha: Reboot complete. You got your best friend back.
Tony: Thank you very much, Agent Romanoff.
Natasha: Well done with the new chest piece. I'm reading significantly higher output, and your vitals all look promising.
Tony: Yes, for the moment, I'm not dying. Thank you.
Pepper: [Overhearing this on the other line] What do you mean, you're not dying? Did you just say you were dying?
Tony: That you? Uh, no, I'm not. Not anymore.
Pepper: What's–what's going on?
Tony: I was going to tell you. I didn't want to alarm you.
Pepper: [Interrupting] You were gonna tell me? You really were dying?
Tony: You didn't let me.
Pepper: Why didn't you tell me that?
Tony: I was gonna make you an omelette and tell you!
Natasha: Hey, hey, save it for the honeymoon. You got incoming, Tony. Looks like the fight's coming to you.
Tony: Great. Pepper?
Pepper: Are you okay now?
Tony: I am fine. Don't be mad. I will formally apologize–
Pepper: I am mad.
Tony: –when I'm not fending off a Hammeroid attack.
Pepper: Fine.
Tony: We could have been in Venice.
Pepper: Oh, please!
Tony: Thank you very much, Agent Romanoff.
Natasha: Well done with the new chest piece. I'm reading significantly higher output, and your vitals all look promising.
Tony: Yes, for the moment, I'm not dying. Thank you.
Pepper: [Overhearing this on the other line] What do you mean, you're not dying? Did you just say you were dying?
Tony: That you? Uh, no, I'm not. Not anymore.
Pepper: What's–what's going on?
Tony: I was going to tell you. I didn't want to alarm you.
Pepper: [Interrupting] You were gonna tell me? You really were dying?
Tony: You didn't let me.
Pepper: Why didn't you tell me that?
Tony: I was gonna make you an omelette and tell you!
Natasha: Hey, hey, save it for the honeymoon. You got incoming, Tony. Looks like the fight's coming to you.
Tony: Great. Pepper?
Pepper: Are you okay now?
Tony: I am fine. Don't be mad. I will formally apologize–
Pepper: I am mad.
Tony: –when I'm not fending off a Hammeroid attack.
Pepper: Fine.
Tony: We could have been in Venice.
Pepper: Oh, please!
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Stern: I think "we're done" is the point he's making. I don't think there's any reason–
Tony: The point is: you're welcome, I guess.
Stern: For what?
Tony: Because I'm your nuclear deterrent. It's working. We're safe. America is secure. You want my property? You can't have it. But I did you a big favor: I've successfully privatized world peace. What more do you want? For now! I tried to play ball with these ass-clowns...
Stern: [bleep] you, Mr. Stark. [bleep] you, buddy.
Tony: The point is: you're welcome, I guess.
Stern: For what?
Tony: Because I'm your nuclear deterrent. It's working. We're safe. America is secure. You want my property? You can't have it. But I did you a big favor: I've successfully privatized world peace. What more do you want? For now! I tried to play ball with these ass-clowns...
Stern: [bleep] you, Mr. Stark. [bleep] you, buddy.
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Tony: [arrives at an Expo convention] We got trouble.
Rhodes: Tony, there are civilians present. I'm here on under orders. Let's not do this right now.
Tony: Give them a wave. All these people are in danger. We gotta get them out of here. You gotta trust me for the next five minutes.
Rhodes: I tried that and got tossed around your house, remember?
Tony: [about Hammer] I think he's working with Vanko.
Rhodes: Vanko’s alive?
Tony: [walks towards Hammer] Where is he?
Hammer: What?
Tony: Where’s Vanko?
Hammer: Who?
Tony: Tell me.
Hammer: What are you doing here, man?
[Vanko starts hacking Rhodes’ suit remotely]
Rhodes: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! [his cannon points at Tony by itself]
Tony: Is that you?
Rhodes: No, I'm not doing that. That's not me. I can't move. I'm locked up. I'm locked up. [all the drones on the stage hold up their arms to fire their cannons] GET OUT OF HERE! GO! THE WHOLE SYSTEM’S BEEN COMPROMISED!!
[civilians start running away in panic]
Rhodes: Tony, there are civilians present. I'm here on under orders. Let's not do this right now.
Tony: Give them a wave. All these people are in danger. We gotta get them out of here. You gotta trust me for the next five minutes.
Rhodes: I tried that and got tossed around your house, remember?
Tony: [about Hammer] I think he's working with Vanko.
Rhodes: Vanko’s alive?
Tony: [walks towards Hammer] Where is he?
Hammer: What?
Tony: Where’s Vanko?
Hammer: Who?
Tony: Tell me.
Hammer: What are you doing here, man?
[Vanko starts hacking Rhodes’ suit remotely]
Rhodes: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! [his cannon points at Tony by itself]
Tony: Is that you?
Rhodes: No, I'm not doing that. That's not me. I can't move. I'm locked up. I'm locked up. [all the drones on the stage hold up their arms to fire their cannons] GET OUT OF HERE! GO! THE WHOLE SYSTEM’S BEEN COMPROMISED!!
[civilians start running away in panic]
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Tony: Oh, it's good to be back. You missed me? I missed you too.
Random Guy In Crowd: Blow somethin' up!
Tony: Blow somethin' up? I already did that. I'm not saying that the world is enjoying its longest period of uninterrupted peace in years because of me. I'm not saying…that from the ashes of captivity…never has a greater Phoenix metaphor been personified in human history. I'm not saying that Uncle Sam can kick back on a lawn chair, sippin' on an iced tea, because I haven't come across anyone who's man enough to go toe to toe with me on my best day. Please…It's not about me. It's not about…you. It's not even about us, it's about legacy. It's about what we choose to leave behind for future generations and that's why, for the next year and for the first time since 1974, the best and brightest men and women of nations and corporations the world over will pool their resources, share their collective vision to leave behind a brighter future. It's not about us! Therefore what I am saying, if I'm saying anything, is welcome back to the Stark Expo! And now, making a special guest appearance from the great beyond, to tell you what it's all about. Please welcome my father, Howard. [Walks off stage and a film plays on the back screen]
Howard Stark: [In film] Everything is achievable through technology. Better living, robust health, and for the first time in human history, the possibility of world peace. So from all of us here at Stark Industries, I would personally like to introduce you to the city...of the future. Technology holds infinite possibilities for mankind and will one day rid society of all its ills. Soon, technology will effect the way you live your life everyday. No more tedious work. Leaving more time for leisure activities and enjoying the sweet life. The Stark Expo…welcome.
Random Guy In Crowd: Blow somethin' up!
Tony: Blow somethin' up? I already did that. I'm not saying that the world is enjoying its longest period of uninterrupted peace in years because of me. I'm not saying…that from the ashes of captivity…never has a greater Phoenix metaphor been personified in human history. I'm not saying that Uncle Sam can kick back on a lawn chair, sippin' on an iced tea, because I haven't come across anyone who's man enough to go toe to toe with me on my best day. Please…It's not about me. It's not about…you. It's not even about us, it's about legacy. It's about what we choose to leave behind for future generations and that's why, for the next year and for the first time since 1974, the best and brightest men and women of nations and corporations the world over will pool their resources, share their collective vision to leave behind a brighter future. It's not about us! Therefore what I am saying, if I'm saying anything, is welcome back to the Stark Expo! And now, making a special guest appearance from the great beyond, to tell you what it's all about. Please welcome my father, Howard. [Walks off stage and a film plays on the back screen]
Howard Stark: [In film] Everything is achievable through technology. Better living, robust health, and for the first time in human history, the possibility of world peace. So from all of us here at Stark Industries, I would personally like to introduce you to the city...of the future. Technology holds infinite possibilities for mankind and will one day rid society of all its ills. Soon, technology will effect the way you live your life everyday. No more tedious work. Leaving more time for leisure activities and enjoying the sweet life. The Stark Expo…welcome.
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[After the battle in Monaco, Tony visits his assailant in jail]
Ivan Vanko: You come from a family of thieves and butchers. And like all guilty men, you try to rewrite your history. To forget all the lives that the Stark family has destroyed.
Tony: Speaking of thieves, where'd you get this design? You look like you have friends in low places.
Vanko: My father, Anton Vanko.
Tony: Never heard of him.
Vanko: My father is the reason you're still alive.
Tony: No. The reason I'm alive is because you made a shot and you missed.
Vanko: [laughs]If you could make God bleed, people would cease to believe in Him. There will be blood in the water. The sharks will come. All I have to do is sit back and watch as the world consumes you.
Tony: Where will you be watching the world consume me from? Oh, that's right, a prison cell. I'll send you a bar of soap. [walks off]
Ivan Vanko: You come from a family of thieves and butchers. And like all guilty men, you try to rewrite your history. To forget all the lives that the Stark family has destroyed.
Tony: Speaking of thieves, where'd you get this design? You look like you have friends in low places.
Vanko: My father, Anton Vanko.
Tony: Never heard of him.
Vanko: My father is the reason you're still alive.
Tony: No. The reason I'm alive is because you made a shot and you missed.
Vanko: [laughs]If you could make God bleed, people would cease to believe in Him. There will be blood in the water. The sharks will come. All I have to do is sit back and watch as the world consumes you.
Tony: Where will you be watching the world consume me from? Oh, that's right, a prison cell. I'll send you a bar of soap. [walks off]
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[During the Senate hearing on the Iron Man suit]
Senator Stern: My priority is to get the Iron Man weapon turned over to the people of the United States of America.
Tony: Well, you can forget it. I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself, which is tantamount to indentured servitude, or prostitution, depending on what state you're in. [Laughter from the gallery] You can't have it.
Stern: Look, I'm no expert–
Tony: In prostitution? Of course not, you're a senator. Come on! [More laughter from the gallery as Tony turns to Pepper, who isn't laughing]
Senator Stern: My priority is to get the Iron Man weapon turned over to the people of the United States of America.
Tony: Well, you can forget it. I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself, which is tantamount to indentured servitude, or prostitution, depending on what state you're in. [Laughter from the gallery] You can't have it.
Stern: Look, I'm no expert–
Tony: In prostitution? Of course not, you're a senator. Come on! [More laughter from the gallery as Tony turns to Pepper, who isn't laughing]
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[Vanko shows Hammer how easily he can hack into HammerTech's computer system]
Justin Hammer: Good stuff.
Vanko: Твой софт - говно. [Russian; pronounced "tuh-voy soft, guhv-no"]
Hammer: [Confused] Sorry?
Vanko: Software shit.
Justin Hammer: Good stuff.
Vanko: Твой софт - говно. [Russian; pronounced "tuh-voy soft, guhv-no"]
Hammer: [Confused] Sorry?
Vanko: Software shit.
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[A filmed message left for his son] Tony. You're too young to understand this now, so I thought I would put it on film for you. [Gestures to his model of Stark Expo] I built this for you. And someday, you'll realize that it represents a whole lot more than people's inventions. It represents my life's work. This is the key to the future. I'm limited by the technology of my time, but one day you'll figure this out. And when you do, you will change the world. What is, and will always be, my greatest creation…is you.
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[After saving Peter Parker from a Hammer drone] Nice work, kid.
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[Having just inserted the reworked arc reactor into his chest cavity] Tastes like coconut! [Grimaces] And metal.