Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie quotes
21 total quotes
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Angus: Sorry, sir! I can't sell ya a ticket to Nineveh!
Jonah: What?! Who are you?!
Angus: The name's Angus! I sell cruise tickets! There's nothing like a cruise on the Great Sea ta clean the sand outa yer wicket, aye? But you can't sail to Nineveh! It's landlocked! See? [gestures with a loud bang to map with pointer] You can't go by sea, you get to go by land!
Jonah: What?! Who are you?!
Angus: The name's Angus! I sell cruise tickets! There's nothing like a cruise on the Great Sea ta clean the sand outa yer wicket, aye? But you can't sail to Nineveh! It's landlocked! See? [gestures with a loud bang to map with pointer] You can't go by sea, you get to go by land!
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Bob: Oh yeah, well if it wasn't for you we wouldn't be in this mess!
Dad Asparagus: I said I was sorry. I'll do better next time.
Bob: There isn't gonna be a next time!
Annie: Mr. Bob, how are we going to get to the Twippo Concert?
Percy Pea: Yeah! We're going to miss the Bald Bunny song.
Bob: I don't know! I don't know about any bald bunnies!
Percy Pea: I'm a bald bunny, ain't got no fur. I'm a bald bunny, brrr brrr brrr.
Laura: [while Percy continues singing] Even if we do make it to the concert, I can't get in! I lost my ticket!
Junior: Serves you right! It's your own fault for waving it around in my face!
Annie: I have to go to the bathroom.
Dad Asparagus: You know, I'm usually not that clumsy in the car.
Bob: Two flat tires?!
Dad Asparagus: Usually, I'm quite dexterous!
Bob: How in the world are we going to change two flat tires?! Where's the phone?!
Laura: I lost my ticket!
Junior: If you hadn't been teasing me, we wouldn't been in this mess, Laura!
Pea: [clears thoart] May we help you.
Bob: The asparagus whack me in the head with a guitar.
Dad Asparagus: I said I was sorry. I'll do better next time.
Bob: There isn't gonna be a next time!
Annie: Mr. Bob, how are we going to get to the Twippo Concert?
Percy Pea: Yeah! We're going to miss the Bald Bunny song.
Bob: I don't know! I don't know about any bald bunnies!
Percy Pea: I'm a bald bunny, ain't got no fur. I'm a bald bunny, brrr brrr brrr.
Laura: [while Percy continues singing] Even if we do make it to the concert, I can't get in! I lost my ticket!
Junior: Serves you right! It's your own fault for waving it around in my face!
Annie: I have to go to the bathroom.
Dad Asparagus: You know, I'm usually not that clumsy in the car.
Bob: Two flat tires?!
Dad Asparagus: Usually, I'm quite dexterous!
Bob: How in the world are we going to change two flat tires?! Where's the phone?!
Laura: I lost my ticket!
Junior: If you hadn't been teasing me, we wouldn't been in this mess, Laura!
Pea: [clears thoart] May we help you.
Bob: The asparagus whack me in the head with a guitar.
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City Official: A decree from the King! Let everyone call urgently to God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. Perhaps the God that brought this man out of the Great Fish, will give us a second chance!
[Crowd cheers and everyone was happy. Jonah looks around, tugging against his ropes.]
King Twistomer: And let the asparagus and his friends go free!
Pa Grape (Narrator): So the king and the people of Nineveh, said they were sorry, stopped the fish-slapping, and started being nice to people.
[Crowd cheers and everyone was happy. Jonah looks around, tugging against his ropes.]
King Twistomer: And let the asparagus and his friends go free!
Pa Grape (Narrator): So the king and the people of Nineveh, said they were sorry, stopped the fish-slapping, and started being nice to people.
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City Official: People of Nineveh! These four men, and that small, whatever it is...
Khalil: I am a caterpillar! Well, that is only half true.
City Official: Have been found guilty of high thievery against the Royal City of Nineveh! For their punishment... THE SLAP OF NO RETURN!
Larry: What's so funny?
City Official: Observe!
[The Pirates and Jonah look on as the City Official places a large pumpkin on a small wooden platform in from of the fifth fish pole. There is a hush as he walks over to the rope, anchored to a stake in the ground, raises a curved sword high in the air, and brings it down, severing the rope. The fish falls, splattering the pumpkin to bits. Pumpkin hits Jonah's face. The crowd starts cheering and the Pirates and Jonah start crying like little babies.]
All: [No! Waaaaaaaaah! Etc.]
Khalil: What is happening that is making you all cry like little babies?!
Jonah: Why on earth do you take snack food so SERIOUSLY?!
Khalil: I am a caterpillar! Well, that is only half true.
City Official: Have been found guilty of high thievery against the Royal City of Nineveh! For their punishment... THE SLAP OF NO RETURN!
Larry: What's so funny?
City Official: Observe!
[The Pirates and Jonah look on as the City Official places a large pumpkin on a small wooden platform in from of the fifth fish pole. There is a hush as he walks over to the rope, anchored to a stake in the ground, raises a curved sword high in the air, and brings it down, severing the rope. The fish falls, splattering the pumpkin to bits. Pumpkin hits Jonah's face. The crowd starts cheering and the Pirates and Jonah start crying like little babies.]
All: [No! Waaaaaaaaah! Etc.]
Khalil: What is happening that is making you all cry like little babies?!
Jonah: Why on earth do you take snack food so SERIOUSLY?!
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Jonah: Alright! I did my job! So... fire! Brimstone! Whatever! You pick! Right over there! I'll just sit here under my weed and wait.
[Jonah sits back down and forces a smile, leaning up against the weed. Without warning, the weed and Jonah crash to the ground. Jonah sits up quickly and looks around.]
Jonah: What? What happened?!
[Jonah spies worm, happily munching a mouthful of weed, and sees the partially chewed weed stump.]
Jonah: What?! How could you?!
Khalil: Hmm? All your whining made me hungry! It was just a weed.
Jonah: Just a weed?! It... It was my shade! It was my friend! Oh, dear Lord, how could you let this happen?!
[Jonah mourns for the weed like a fallen comrade, the worm can take it no more.]
Khalil: Would you look at yourself?! You care more about that weed than about all the people in Nineveh!
Jonah: Well, I...
Khalil: Why are you here now? Instead of back in the belly of that whale?
Jonah: Ah...
Khalil: Because God is compassionate! He wanted to help you! And because he is merciful! He gave you a second chance!
Jonah: Oh, yes, and I'm very grateful!
Khalil: Has it ever occurred to you that maybe God loves everybody! Not just you?!!! That maybe he wants to give everyone a second chance?!!!
Jonah: Uh, well...
Khalil: He saw that those people needed help, that they didn't know right from wrong, and he wanted to help them! And that is why he sent you!
Jonah: Ah...
Khalil: And when you told them what they were doing wrong they said they were sorry, they put down their mackerels and their halibuts, and they asked God for a second chance. And by golly, he gave them one! Don't you see? God wants to give everyone a second chance! And so should we!
Jonah: Well... If they get a second chance, those fish-slappers, well, then... IT WOULD BE BETTER IF I WERE DEAD! [flops onto the ground] OH! I WISH I WERE BACK IN THAT WHALE! [Jonah is a basket case, the worm looks at him in disbelief.]
Khalil: You are pathetic. You know, patience runs very deep in my family. But not that deep. I'm out of here!
Jonah: What? What are you doing?
Khalil: I wanted to be big and important, just like you! But the world doesn't need more people who are BIG AND IMPORTANT, the world needs more people who are nice. And compassionate. And merciful. That's what I want to be. You can find yourself a new traveling buddy. Goodbye!
Jonah: You can't just leave!
Khalil: Can and have!
Jonah: But, who will I talk to?! You can't just leave me here all alone! Hello?! Carlisle?! Reginald?! Carlisle?! Khalil?! Khalil?! KHALIL?! NOOOOO!!
Pa Grape: The End! [The Pirates slide the Plexiglas divider shut between the two booths, then flashback in episodes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) in "Green With Jealousy", "Muckman Messes Up", "Return of the Shredder", "Super Irma", "Cry H.A.V.O.C.!", "A Thing About Rats", "Sky Turtles", "The Catwoman from Channel Six", "Poor Little Rich Turtle", "The Old Switcheroo", "New York's Shiniest", "It Came from Beneath the Sewers", "The Day The Earth Disappeared", "Shreeka's Revenge", "State of Shock", "Planet of the Turtleoids", "Turtlemanic", "Dregg on the Earth", "The Ninja Sword of Nowhere", "A Real Snow Job", "Divide and Conquer", "Enter: Mutagen Man", "Night of the Dark Turtle", "Beware the Lotus", "Night of the Rogues", "Donatello's Degree", "Ring of Fire", "Attack of the 50-Foot Irma", "The Turtle Terminator", "Turtle Tracks", "Pirate Radio", "Pizza by the Shred", "Four Musketurtles", "Mr. Nice Guy", "Rust Never Sleeps", "Turtles on the Orient Express", "Convicts from Dimension X", "Super Bebop and Mighty Rocksteady", & "Get Shredder!".]
[Jonah sits back down and forces a smile, leaning up against the weed. Without warning, the weed and Jonah crash to the ground. Jonah sits up quickly and looks around.]
Jonah: What? What happened?!
[Jonah spies worm, happily munching a mouthful of weed, and sees the partially chewed weed stump.]
Jonah: What?! How could you?!
Khalil: Hmm? All your whining made me hungry! It was just a weed.
Jonah: Just a weed?! It... It was my shade! It was my friend! Oh, dear Lord, how could you let this happen?!
[Jonah mourns for the weed like a fallen comrade, the worm can take it no more.]
Khalil: Would you look at yourself?! You care more about that weed than about all the people in Nineveh!
Jonah: Well, I...
Khalil: Why are you here now? Instead of back in the belly of that whale?
Jonah: Ah...
Khalil: Because God is compassionate! He wanted to help you! And because he is merciful! He gave you a second chance!
Jonah: Oh, yes, and I'm very grateful!
Khalil: Has it ever occurred to you that maybe God loves everybody! Not just you?!!! That maybe he wants to give everyone a second chance?!!!
Jonah: Uh, well...
Khalil: He saw that those people needed help, that they didn't know right from wrong, and he wanted to help them! And that is why he sent you!
Jonah: Ah...
Khalil: And when you told them what they were doing wrong they said they were sorry, they put down their mackerels and their halibuts, and they asked God for a second chance. And by golly, he gave them one! Don't you see? God wants to give everyone a second chance! And so should we!
Jonah: Well... If they get a second chance, those fish-slappers, well, then... IT WOULD BE BETTER IF I WERE DEAD! [flops onto the ground] OH! I WISH I WERE BACK IN THAT WHALE! [Jonah is a basket case, the worm looks at him in disbelief.]
Khalil: You are pathetic. You know, patience runs very deep in my family. But not that deep. I'm out of here!
Jonah: What? What are you doing?
Khalil: I wanted to be big and important, just like you! But the world doesn't need more people who are BIG AND IMPORTANT, the world needs more people who are nice. And compassionate. And merciful. That's what I want to be. You can find yourself a new traveling buddy. Goodbye!
Jonah: You can't just leave!
Khalil: Can and have!
Jonah: But, who will I talk to?! You can't just leave me here all alone! Hello?! Carlisle?! Reginald?! Carlisle?! Khalil?! Khalil?! KHALIL?! NOOOOO!!
Pa Grape: The End! [The Pirates slide the Plexiglas divider shut between the two booths, then flashback in episodes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) in "Green With Jealousy", "Muckman Messes Up", "Return of the Shredder", "Super Irma", "Cry H.A.V.O.C.!", "A Thing About Rats", "Sky Turtles", "The Catwoman from Channel Six", "Poor Little Rich Turtle", "The Old Switcheroo", "New York's Shiniest", "It Came from Beneath the Sewers", "The Day The Earth Disappeared", "Shreeka's Revenge", "State of Shock", "Planet of the Turtleoids", "Turtlemanic", "Dregg on the Earth", "The Ninja Sword of Nowhere", "A Real Snow Job", "Divide and Conquer", "Enter: Mutagen Man", "Night of the Dark Turtle", "Beware the Lotus", "Night of the Rogues", "Donatello's Degree", "Ring of Fire", "Attack of the 50-Foot Irma", "The Turtle Terminator", "Turtle Tracks", "Pirate Radio", "Pizza by the Shred", "Four Musketurtles", "Mr. Nice Guy", "Rust Never Sleeps", "Turtles on the Orient Express", "Convicts from Dimension X", "Super Bebop and Mighty Rocksteady", & "Get Shredder!".]
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Jonah: Go in, give the message, get out. Go in, give the message, get out.
Guard 1: Who goes there?!
Jonah: Ah, yes. My name is Jonah, and I'm a prophet from...
Guard #2: You're not from here, are you?
Jonah: Um... No, you see, I'm from...
Guard #1: That would make you a stranger, wouldn't it?
Jonah: Well... Um... Yes. I suppose so... But I...
Guard #2: We don't like strangers!
Jonah: No... Yes, I've heard that. But you see I have a...
Guard #1: So why're you here?!
Jonah: Well... I have a message.
Guard #1: A message? For who?
Jonah: Well... For everyone! For the whole city!
Guard #1: You've got a message for the whole city?!
Guard #2: The whole city?!
Guard #1: Oh, that's rich!
Guard #2: Heh, heh! I'll alert the king! YOU'RE HONOR! A BLEACHED ASPARAGUS HAS A MESSAGE FOR US ALL!
Guard #1: Most important!
Khalil: I do not think this is going very well.
Jonah: Oh! Let's just go home! I did what you said, I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
Guard 1: Who goes there?!
Jonah: Ah, yes. My name is Jonah, and I'm a prophet from...
Guard #2: You're not from here, are you?
Jonah: Um... No, you see, I'm from...
Guard #1: That would make you a stranger, wouldn't it?
Jonah: Well... Um... Yes. I suppose so... But I...
Guard #2: We don't like strangers!
Jonah: No... Yes, I've heard that. But you see I have a...
Guard #1: So why're you here?!
Jonah: Well... I have a message.
Guard #1: A message? For who?
Jonah: Well... For everyone! For the whole city!
Guard #1: You've got a message for the whole city?!
Guard #2: The whole city?!
Guard #1: Oh, that's rich!
Guard #2: Heh, heh! I'll alert the king! YOU'RE HONOR! A BLEACHED ASPARAGUS HAS A MESSAGE FOR US ALL!
Guard #1: Most important!
Khalil: I do not think this is going very well.
Jonah: Oh! Let's just go home! I did what you said, I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
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Jonah: Something touched me! There's... There's something in the water!
[The whale approaches under the ship and Jonah.]
Pa Grape: Hurry up! Hurry!
Mr. Lunt: I'm hurrying!
Pa Grape: Hold on, Jonah! Aim this time!
Mr. Lunt: I was aiming!
Pa Grape: I can never tell where you're looking.
Mr. Lunt: You should talk!
Jonah: Hurry! [Lunt throws the ring, it misses again.] FELLOWS, PLEASE!
Pa Grape: Pull it back in! Hurry!
Lunt: Okay, okay! I got it!
[The Whale uses the water to sprinkle around]
Pa Grape: Let me do that!
Lunt: No, no! I'll throw it!
Jonah: FELLOWS, PLEASE!
Pa Grape: Come on! Give it here!
Mr. Lunt: I said I got it!
Larry: Excuse me, gentlemen! Perhaps I can be of some assistance.
[Larry tosses the ring. This time it's headed right for Jonah. The ring lands perfectly around Jonah and gasps. The pirates smiles of his achievement. The Pirates attempt to reel Jonah back in, but before they can do so, Jonah is swallowed by a giant whale. The pirates were shocked.]
Larry: Oops.
[The whale approaches under the ship and Jonah.]
Pa Grape: Hurry up! Hurry!
Mr. Lunt: I'm hurrying!
Pa Grape: Hold on, Jonah! Aim this time!
Mr. Lunt: I was aiming!
Pa Grape: I can never tell where you're looking.
Mr. Lunt: You should talk!
Jonah: Hurry! [Lunt throws the ring, it misses again.] FELLOWS, PLEASE!
Pa Grape: Pull it back in! Hurry!
Lunt: Okay, okay! I got it!
[The Whale uses the water to sprinkle around]
Pa Grape: Let me do that!
Lunt: No, no! I'll throw it!
Jonah: FELLOWS, PLEASE!
Pa Grape: Come on! Give it here!
Mr. Lunt: I said I got it!
Larry: Excuse me, gentlemen! Perhaps I can be of some assistance.
[Larry tosses the ring. This time it's headed right for Jonah. The ring lands perfectly around Jonah and gasps. The pirates smiles of his achievement. The Pirates attempt to reel Jonah back in, but before they can do so, Jonah is swallowed by a giant whale. The pirates were shocked.]
Larry: Oops.
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Jonah: What? Oh! The Message. Yes! The message? Ah! What was the message? It's been so long, I... Yes! [clears throat] STOP IT! [All Ninevites gasping] STOP CHEATING, STOP LYING, AND ESPECIALLY STOP SLAPPING PEOPLE WITH FISHES, OR THIS ENTIRE CITY WILL BE DESTROYED! A Message From the Lord.
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Jonah: Yes! Which way is Tarshish?
Angus: Right this way! You can't miss it!
Jonah: Oh! Thank you!
[Jonah walks and headed to Tarshish. Suddenly, God's voice interrupts, which sounds suspiciously like Pa Grape.]
God (Pa Grape): Jonah!
Jonah: What? Who is it?
God (Pa Grape): Jonah! Where are you going?
Jonah: Oh! It's you, Lord. Um, I'm going to... I'm going...
God (Pa Grape): Jonah!
Jonah: I'm Sorry! I can't hear you!
God (Pa Grape): Jonah!
Jonah: I can't hear you! Lalalalalalala!
God (Pa Grape): Jonah!
Jonah: I... CAN'T... HEAR... YOU!
God (Pa Grape): Jonah!
[Dream transition back to Jonah, tossing in his bunk. The hold of the ship is flooding and water is splashing Jonah's face. Pa Grape is trying to wake him.]
Pa Grape: Jonah! Jonah! Jonah!
Jonah: No! I... I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Pa Grape: Come on! Wake up! We got trouble!
Jonah: What?! What's happening?!
Pa Grape: We're in a storm! Like I've never seen before! If we don't do something quick, we're gonna sink!
Khalil: We seem to have sprung a leak, traveling buddy!
Pa Grape: Huh? Hey! What are you doing here?
Khalil: Well, yes. But you see, my new friend and I are going to Tarshish to break the back of the camel thieves! Crime-fighting runs very deep in my family!
Pa Grape: Why if it wasn't for this storm I'd make you walk the plank! And you! How can you sleep at a time like this?!
Jonah: What's going on?
Pa Grape: I'll tell you what's going on! We're all gonna be fish food if I don't get some help!
Jonah: Well, what can we do?!
Pa Grape: Oh! Get up and pray to your god! Maybe he'll have mercy on us and spare our lives! Hmm... Oy! Somebody up there must be really upset with somebody down here! Wait a minute! That's it! ALRIGHT YOU TWO, FOLLOW ME!
Angus: Right this way! You can't miss it!
Jonah: Oh! Thank you!
[Jonah walks and headed to Tarshish. Suddenly, God's voice interrupts, which sounds suspiciously like Pa Grape.]
God (Pa Grape): Jonah!
Jonah: What? Who is it?
God (Pa Grape): Jonah! Where are you going?
Jonah: Oh! It's you, Lord. Um, I'm going to... I'm going...
God (Pa Grape): Jonah!
Jonah: I'm Sorry! I can't hear you!
God (Pa Grape): Jonah!
Jonah: I can't hear you! Lalalalalalala!
God (Pa Grape): Jonah!
Jonah: I... CAN'T... HEAR... YOU!
God (Pa Grape): Jonah!
[Dream transition back to Jonah, tossing in his bunk. The hold of the ship is flooding and water is splashing Jonah's face. Pa Grape is trying to wake him.]
Pa Grape: Jonah! Jonah! Jonah!
Jonah: No! I... I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Pa Grape: Come on! Wake up! We got trouble!
Jonah: What?! What's happening?!
Pa Grape: We're in a storm! Like I've never seen before! If we don't do something quick, we're gonna sink!
Khalil: We seem to have sprung a leak, traveling buddy!
Pa Grape: Huh? Hey! What are you doing here?
Khalil: Well, yes. But you see, my new friend and I are going to Tarshish to break the back of the camel thieves! Crime-fighting runs very deep in my family!
Pa Grape: Why if it wasn't for this storm I'd make you walk the plank! And you! How can you sleep at a time like this?!
Jonah: What's going on?
Pa Grape: I'll tell you what's going on! We're all gonna be fish food if I don't get some help!
Jonah: Well, what can we do?!
Pa Grape: Oh! Get up and pray to your god! Maybe he'll have mercy on us and spare our lives! Hmm... Oy! Somebody up there must be really upset with somebody down here! Wait a minute! That's it! ALRIGHT YOU TWO, FOLLOW ME!
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Junior: What is that? What's compassion?
Mr. Lunt: Oh! That's a hard question.
Larry: Mmmm Hmmm!
Pa Grape: Well, Compassion is when ya see that someone needs help, and ya wanna help them!
Mr. Lunt: Oh! That's a hard question.
Larry: Mmmm Hmmm!
Pa Grape: Well, Compassion is when ya see that someone needs help, and ya wanna help them!
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Khalil: I beg your pardon. I hate to break up the party, but who needed a tow?
Twippo: Ah! Have we met?
Twippo: Ah! Have we met?
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Mr. Lunt: Yeah! Remember when we did that one thing, with that one guy?
Pa Grape: Oh do I ever.
Larry: I remember it like it was yesterday.
Pa Grape: Oh do I ever.
Larry: I remember it like it was yesterday.
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Pa Grape: Excuse me!
Junior: Ah!
Larry: How's it going?
Mr. Lunt: Hey! What's up?
Junior: Who are you?
Pa Grape: The who us?
Junior: Yeah.
Pa Grape: Oh! We are, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!
Mr. Lunt: Oh! You know that's right!
Larry: Nothing.
Mr. Lunt: Zilch.
Larry: Nada.
Junior: Ah!
Larry: How's it going?
Mr. Lunt: Hey! What's up?
Junior: Who are you?
Pa Grape: The who us?
Junior: Yeah.
Pa Grape: Oh! We are, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!
Mr. Lunt: Oh! You know that's right!
Larry: Nothing.
Mr. Lunt: Zilch.
Larry: Nada.