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Professor Sheldon "Shelly" Oberon quotes

View Quote Oh, my god, these things are crazy!
View Quote Later, dude.
View Quote It's okay, you can handle this. In real life, people love you, You can hook up with anyone you want. [Ruby Roundhouse: Is that what you tell yourself when you're scared?] Can you not judge me for, like, two seconds? I split up with Noah, I turned into a guy, and I cannot find my phone! I am allowed to be upset!
View Quote Oh, my God, you guys, there is, like, literally a penis attached to my body right now. Martha, come look at my penis! [Ruby Roundhouse: No thanks.]
View Quote Wow, wow, wow! Oh, this is so much easier!
View Quote [Ruby Roundhouse: I feel like I'm wearing a bikini at school.] I did that once. They sent me to the office. Noah likes it when I show some skin. It's like the key to our relationship.
View Quote That is insane.
View Quote YOU DROPPED THE JEWEL?!
View Quote "When you see me, begin the climb."
View Quote "When you see the elephant, begin the climb."
View Quote That was so intense, I, like, can't even with this place.
View Quote Hey, guys, this does not look like a piece of a map.
View Quote I want Alex to come home, too.
View Quote Maybe we're all in a coma.
View Quote NO! I'm an overweight middle aged man.
View Quote What do you mean, there's nothing there? It's a map, just like he said. It's a map of Jumanji.
View Quote Oh, so you can't see this, but I can?
View Quote The fact that I'm not Instagraming this right now is insane.
View Quote Wait a second, where's my phone?
View Quote Guys, I think it's a staring contest.
View Quote Now flirt like our lives depend on it, 'cause they do.
View Quote Remember, you're the missing piece.
View Quote Does anyone know how to do CPR?
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