Kicking and Screaming (1995) quotes

View Quote Grover: OK, the way I see it, if we were an old couple, dated for years, graduated, away from all these scholastic complications, and I reached over and kissed you, you wouldn't say a word, you'd be delighted, probably, but if I was to do that now it'd be quite forward, and if I did it the first time we ever met you probably would hit me.
Jane: What do you mean?
Grover: I just wish we were an old couple so I could do that.

View Quote Jane: I've always thought that my parents were part of a trickle down method of parenting, you know, like reflection on the Reagan years. Looked good to a lot of people but basically I'm paying for all that neglect now.
Grover: I guess my parents have sort of a Lyndon Johnson feel to them, like there's no satisfactory reason why they became parents, like my real parents were assassinated and these people were next in line for the job. They fight a lot, but they'd never split.

View Quote Jane: Overrated? You've never even been to Prague.
Grover: Oh, I've been to Prague. [Jane stares at him] Well, I haven't "been to Prague" been to Prague, but I know that thing, that, "Stop shaving your armpits, read The Unbearable Lightness of Being, date a sculptor, now I know how bad American coffee is" thing...
Jane: Beer. They have good beer there.
Grover: "... how bad American beer is" thing. [pause] "How bad American beer is" thing.
Jane: Yeah, I heard you the first time.

View Quote Jane: Sometimes you can be such a child.
Grover: Yeah, but if I was a child you'd find that endearing.

View Quote Kate: I'm going to be 17 tomorrow.
Max: Wow, now you can read Seventeen Magazine and get all the references.

View Quote Max: Are you wearing mascara?
Otis: No... yes.

View Quote Max: I don't need to go to a campus bar to be reminded of my lack of success with a bunch of thrill seeking snotty college kids.
Skippy: That's us; we're like celebrities to them.
Max: No, we were celebrities. Now going back would be like doing Hollywood Squares. I'm too nostalgic, I'll admit it.
Skippy: We graduated four months ago. What can you possibly be nostalgic for?
Max: I'm nostalgic for conversations I had yesterday. I've begun reminiscing events before they even occur. I'm reminiscing this right now. I can't go to the bar because I've already looked back on it in my memory... and I didn't have a good time.

View Quote Max: Is that a pajama top?
Otis: No... Yes.

View Quote Otis: [in book club] It was arousing... violently arousing.
Chet: Otis, did you even read the book?
Otis: Yes... no.

View Quote [to Miami] I begged you not to get off Prozac.

View Quote I found myself writing 'wake up' and 'go to bed' in my day planner as if they are two different events.

View Quote I gotta go. I gotta sleep with a freshman.

View Quote I like that you drink. I like a bartender who drinks. Otherwise I feel like I'm being poisoned.

View Quote If Plato is a fine red wine, then Aristotle is a dry martini.

View Quote What about me? You've got enough friends, a new one is bad for you. You start spreading your affection around and it runs thin, believe me.