Kiss Kiss Bang Bang quotes

View Quote B-Movie Actress: So what do you do?
Harry: I'm retired, I invented dice as a kid.

View Quote Bear in TV Ad: I drink Genaro beer. But then, what do I know? I'm a bear. I suck the heads off of fish.
[After Harry fatally shoots him]:Harlan Dexter: Captain ****ing magic.
Mr. Fire: Well, well, look what we got here. How you doin' tough guy?[Harry grabs a gun] Oh, you got a gun. Damn, you are tough.[Harry shoots Mr. Fire to death.]
Mr. Frying Pan: No he's the Fire. **** you, Mr. Mustard.

View Quote Gay Perry: I want you to picture a bullet inside your head right now. Can you do that for me?
Gunman: **** you. Anyway, that's ambiguous.
Gay Perry: Ambiguous. No, no, I don't think so.
Harry: No, I think what he means is that when you say "Picture it inside your head" okay is that that a bullet will be inside your head. Or picture it in your head.
Gay Perry: Harry will you shut up.
Harry: Well he's got a point.
Gunman: Look, I don't know anything about a girl, seriously. I was bluffing.
[Harry begins unloading his revolver]:Harry: Oh okay, you know what? I think you are bluffing right now.
Gay Perry: Harry what are you doing?
[sticks one bullet in the cylinder and spins it.]:Harry: Well what I am doing for the guy who likes tobluff, is I am playing a little game called "Am I bluffing?" Where is she? Where the **** is Harmony?
Gay Perry: Harry,
[Harry spins the cylinder again and closes it]:Harry: You want to play hard ball, I can do that. Where...is...the girl![The gun unexpectedly fires into the gunman's head.]
Gay Perry: What did you just do!?
Harry: There was only one bullet in that right?
Gay Perry: Yes, you put a live round into that gun.
Harry: Well I didn't know I thought there was like an...eight percent chance.
Gay Perry: Eight? Who taught you math?

View Quote Gay Perry: Look up idiot in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?
Harry: A picture of me?
Gay Perry: No! The definition of the word "idiot"! Which you ****ing are!

View Quote Gay Perry: Merry Christmas. Sorry I ****ed you over.
Harry: No problem. Don't quit your gay job.

View Quote Gay Perry: So she comes to the door with nothing on but the radio. And she leads me inside and I sit down, right? Well, then she sits right on my lap and lights up a spliff.
Harry: Really? That happened?
Gay Perry: No. Idiot.

View Quote Harry: Do you think I'm stupid?
Gay Perry: I don't think you'd know where to put food, if you didn't flap your mouth so much. Yes I think you're stupid.

View Quote Harry: I swear to God, it's like somebody took America by the East Coast, and shook it, and all the normal girls managed to hang on.
Harmony: OK, everyone who hates Harry raise your hand!
[All the girls in the club raise their hands.]
Gay Perry: See that? Obedient little bitches too.
[Off-screen girl shouts "**** you!" and tosses a glass at Perry which he dodges]

View Quote Harry: Still gay?
Gay Perry: No, knee-deep in pussy. I just love the name so much I can't get rid of it.

View Quote Mr. Frying Pan: Well would you look at what we got here? Ike, Mike and Mustard.
Harry: What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Mr. Fire: You know I'm with him on that one, man. That was pretty ****ing obscure.

View Quote [Harry catches Agent Type feeling up Harmony, who's passed out.]
Harry: You know what? You'd better be her doctor.
[Agent Type looks up, busted.]
Harry: Walk away, don't think, just do it.
Agent Type: What are you, her brother or something? It's none of your business, man. I will **** you up.
Harry: [coolly] No. You'll try, and that little experiment will end in tears, my friend. So, again for the cheap seats, do not think, walk the **** away - or let's you and me go outside right now. It's past my bedtime. Make a choice.

View Quote Doesn't that suck? I just hit you for no reason. I don't know why.

View Quote Don't worry, I saw Lord of the Rings. I'm not going to end this 17 times.

View Quote Dont quit your gay job

View Quote He called her a... well, a bad word. [pause] ****.