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CUTE?!
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Li Shan: [sensing Po] My son is alive!
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Master Croc: Vengeance is served!
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Mr. Ping: Oh, Po, your story may not have such a happy beginning, but look how it turned out. You got me, you got kung fu, and you got noodles!
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Soothsayer: [first lines; narrating] Long ago, in ancient China. The Pea****s ruled over Gongmen city. They brought great joy, and prosperity to the city. For they had invented fireworks. But their son, Lord Shen saw darker power in the fireworks. What had brought color and joy... could also bring darkness and destruction. Shen's troubled parents consulted a Soothsayer. She foretold that if Shen continued, down this dark path, he would be defeated by a warrior of black and white. The young Lord set out to change his fate. But what he did next… only sealed it. Shen returned to his parents, full of pride. But in their faces, he saw only horror. He was banned from the city forever. But Shen swore revenge. Someday, he would return, and all of China would bow at his feet.
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Wolf Boss: I'll tell you what's gonna be yours - my fist in your plush, cuddly, super-soft face! [Monkey and Crane knock out his companions] ...Uh-oh. [flees]
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Master Ox: Oh.. You! What did you do? It's chaos up there. What happened to stopping Shen?
Monkey: Yeah.
Po: Yeah.. Guys, come on! Give me a little credit. I meant for him to get away. 'Cause.. It was a trick. There's a plot! I was thinking... of figuring out his plot.. more.
Mantis: That makes no sense.
Po: What do you mean? Sure it does.
Tigress: Po, the truth! You had Shen. What happened?
Po: What are you talking about? What're you.. I don't know, what are you talking about? Uh.. Yeah! Ahh.. He caught me off guard.
Tigress: The truth! Fine. They'll keep you far from danger.
Master Croc: Real far.
Po: What?
Tigress: You're staying here.
Po: Wa.. Wait! I have to go back..
Tigress: You're staying here!
Po: I'm going. And you can't stop me! Okay, I wasn't ready that time.
Viper: Guys, don't.
Tigress: Ready.
Po: Look!
Viper: Stay down.
Po: I have to get to him.
Tigress: Then, tell me why!
Po: He was there. Okay? The pea**** was there, the last time I saw my parents. He knows what happened. Where I came from. Who I am. Look, I'm going. I have to know. The hard core can't understand.
Viper: Tigress... No!
Tigress: The hard core do understand. But I can't watch my friend be killed. We're going.
Crane: Hey, maybe you can't watch me be killed?
Tigress: Stop being a wimp.
Monkey: And she's back.
Master Ox: Don't worry, kid. You're better off here.
Monkey: Yeah.
Po: Yeah.. Guys, come on! Give me a little credit. I meant for him to get away. 'Cause.. It was a trick. There's a plot! I was thinking... of figuring out his plot.. more.
Mantis: That makes no sense.
Po: What do you mean? Sure it does.
Tigress: Po, the truth! You had Shen. What happened?
Po: What are you talking about? What're you.. I don't know, what are you talking about? Uh.. Yeah! Ahh.. He caught me off guard.
Tigress: The truth! Fine. They'll keep you far from danger.
Master Croc: Real far.
Po: What?
Tigress: You're staying here.
Po: Wa.. Wait! I have to go back..
Tigress: You're staying here!
Po: I'm going. And you can't stop me! Okay, I wasn't ready that time.
Viper: Guys, don't.
Tigress: Ready.
Po: Look!
Viper: Stay down.
Po: I have to get to him.
Tigress: Then, tell me why!
Po: He was there. Okay? The pea**** was there, the last time I saw my parents. He knows what happened. Where I came from. Who I am. Look, I'm going. I have to know. The hard core can't understand.
Viper: Tigress... No!
Tigress: The hard core do understand. But I can't watch my friend be killed. We're going.
Crane: Hey, maybe you can't watch me be killed?
Tigress: Stop being a wimp.
Monkey: And she's back.
Master Ox: Don't worry, kid. You're better off here.
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Mother Pig: What do you mean he's not here?! It's my son's birthday! All he wanted was to meet the Dragon Warrior!
Mr. Ping: How about some tofu birthday cake, instead?
Mother Pig: You know what... we'll try again some other time. When do you think he'll be back?
[The words break Mr. Ping's heart. Before they know it, he's in tears]
Mr. Ping: I don't know, okay?! I DON'T KNOW! Maybe never! I mean, I worry, okay, I'm his dad... or at least I was his dad... [flings himself across the table] Why did he have to go and save China...? I know why, but why? [sniffs] He's just one little panda.
[The mother pig's son starts laughing; Mr. Ping gets up, turns around and sees Po with two radish baskets. Mr. Ping approaches Po and hugs him]
Mr. Ping: So how did it go, did you save China?
Po: Yep.
Mr. Ping: I knew you would... that's why I had these new posters made... [pulls out a poster of Po] "My son saved China. You too can save, buy one dumpling get one free!"
Po: Hey, that's a pretty good deal.
Mr. Ping: Would you like to try one?
Po: Maybe later. [sets down the baskets] There's something I should tell you. [Mr. Ping gulps] While I was gone, I found the village where I was born… I found out how I ended up in that radish basket.
Mr. Ping: You did?
Po: (Yeah… and) I know who I am.
Mr. Ping: [barely speaking] You do?
Po: I'm your son. [The two embrace] I love you, dad.
Mr. Ping: I love you too, son.
Mr. Ping: How about some tofu birthday cake, instead?
Mother Pig: You know what... we'll try again some other time. When do you think he'll be back?
[The words break Mr. Ping's heart. Before they know it, he's in tears]
Mr. Ping: I don't know, okay?! I DON'T KNOW! Maybe never! I mean, I worry, okay, I'm his dad... or at least I was his dad... [flings himself across the table] Why did he have to go and save China...? I know why, but why? [sniffs] He's just one little panda.
[The mother pig's son starts laughing; Mr. Ping gets up, turns around and sees Po with two radish baskets. Mr. Ping approaches Po and hugs him]
Mr. Ping: So how did it go, did you save China?
Po: Yep.
Mr. Ping: I knew you would... that's why I had these new posters made... [pulls out a poster of Po] "My son saved China. You too can save, buy one dumpling get one free!"
Po: Hey, that's a pretty good deal.
Mr. Ping: Would you like to try one?
Po: Maybe later. [sets down the baskets] There's something I should tell you. [Mr. Ping gulps] While I was gone, I found the village where I was born… I found out how I ended up in that radish basket.
Mr. Ping: You did?
Po: (Yeah… and) I know who I am.
Mr. Ping: [barely speaking] You do?
Po: I'm your son. [The two embrace] I love you, dad.
Mr. Ping: I love you too, son.
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Po: [after Shen shows off his Feathers, causing Po to have another vision about the Massacre of the Pandas] You-- you were there.
Shen: Yes. Yes, I was. [escapes]
Shen: Yes. Yes, I was. [escapes]
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Po: [standing on a rooftop] Shen, a panda stands between you and your... [Cut to where Shen is standing, and can barely hear Po; faintly] ...Destiny!
Shen: WHAT?! [Cut back to Po]
Po: Prepare yourself for a hot serving of– [Cut back to Shen; faintly] ...Justice! Your reign of terror comes to an end!
Shen: [still not hearing] What...?
Shen: WHAT?! [Cut back to Po]
Po: Prepare yourself for a hot serving of– [Cut back to Shen; faintly] ...Justice! Your reign of terror comes to an end!
Shen: [still not hearing] What...?
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Po: Master Shifu! Master Shifu, what do we got? Pirates, Vandals of Volcano Mountain? Whatever it is, I will take them down! 'Cause I'm in a mood. I need to get something done. You know what I mean? Ahh... What you doing?
Shifu: One of master Oogway's final teachings. [performs the "Inner Peace" technique.]
Po: Whoa... how did you do that?
Shifu: Inner peace.
Po: Inner piece. That's cool. Inner piece of what?
Shifu: It's the next phase of your training. Every master must find his path to inner peace. Some chose to meditate for 50 years, in a cave just like this! Without the slimmest taste of food. Or water.
Po: Or...?
Shifu: Some find it in torture and suffering. As I did. Po, the day you were chosen as Dragon Warrior...was the worst day of my life. By far, nothing else came close. It was the worst, most painful, mind destroying horrible moment...
Po: Okay.
Shifu: ...I have ever experienced. [shudders at the thought] But once I realized the problem was not you, but within me, I found inner peace and was able to harness the flow of the universe.
Po: So that's it? I just need inner peace? My innards are already super, super peaceful.. So, all I need to do, is just get this thing going. Inner peace, you're going down! Now show me what were you doing that with your feet. I saw just sort of fancy foot...
Tigress: Po! Bandits, approaching the Musician's village
Po: Danger! Tell those musicians to start playing some action music, because it is on! Don't worry, Shifu. I'll master inner peace, as soon as I get back.
Tigress: No snack stops this time.
Po: [laughs] Snack stops! [then] Wait, you serious?
Shifu: One of master Oogway's final teachings. [performs the "Inner Peace" technique.]
Po: Whoa... how did you do that?
Shifu: Inner peace.
Po: Inner piece. That's cool. Inner piece of what?
Shifu: It's the next phase of your training. Every master must find his path to inner peace. Some chose to meditate for 50 years, in a cave just like this! Without the slimmest taste of food. Or water.
Po: Or...?
Shifu: Some find it in torture and suffering. As I did. Po, the day you were chosen as Dragon Warrior...was the worst day of my life. By far, nothing else came close. It was the worst, most painful, mind destroying horrible moment...
Po: Okay.
Shifu: ...I have ever experienced. [shudders at the thought] But once I realized the problem was not you, but within me, I found inner peace and was able to harness the flow of the universe.
Po: So that's it? I just need inner peace? My innards are already super, super peaceful.. So, all I need to do, is just get this thing going. Inner peace, you're going down! Now show me what were you doing that with your feet. I saw just sort of fancy foot...
Tigress: Po! Bandits, approaching the Musician's village
Po: Danger! Tell those musicians to start playing some action music, because it is on! Don't worry, Shifu. I'll master inner peace, as soon as I get back.
Tigress: No snack stops this time.
Po: [laughs] Snack stops! [then] Wait, you serious?
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Po: Momma? Mom? Dad? Is that you? Mom, Dad!
Dad Panda: Oh.. Hi! Hey-Hey.. Son, you are back.
Mom Panda: Huh? Honey, what you doing here?
Po: But I thought..
Mom Panda: We replaced you, dear, with this lovely radish.
Po: Radish!?
Dad Panda: It's quiet, polite, and frankly.. It does better kung fu.
Po: No.. No, no, no! Wait! Radish, radish, radish! Inner pea.. pea.. Inner peace. Inner peace, inner peace, inner peace... I'm... Training.
Tigress: The mast is not a worthy opponent. I'm ready.
Po: Okay.. So serious! I think I prefer the mast.
Tigress: Apologies. I used to punch the ironwood trees by the palace to train. Now, I feel nothing.
Po: That's severely cool!
Tigress: Again!
Po: [training with Tigress on the boat] So, um, this punching ironwood trees, how long did you have to do that?
Tigress: 20 years.
Po: Oh! 20... 20 years. Is there any... you know, a faster way? You know, until you'll, you know, don't feel anything?
Tigress: No. Besides... [twists Po's fist, spins him in the air and lands on the floor; then smiles, watching Po's belly bounces to stop] I don't think hard style is... your thing.
Po: Oh.
Tigress: Po, why are you really out here?
Po: I just found out that my dad... isn't really my dad.
Tigress: Your dad, the goose? [Po nods; deadpan] That must have been quite a shock, and this bothers you?
Po: Are you kidding me? We're warriors, right? Nerves of steel, souls of Platinum. Like you. So hard core, you don't feel anything!
Tigress: I was…
Mantis: So, what you guys talking about?
Po: Nothing. Nothing!
Viper: Po's having daddy's issues.
Mantis: I'm so lucky, I don't have any problems with my dad. Maybe it's 'cause Mom ate his head before I was born. I don't know!
Viper: Mantis, this isn't about you! Po is the one freaking out.
Po: I'm not freaking out.
Tigress: Po...
Po: I'm freaking in.
Tigress: Po!
Po: What?
Tigress: We're here. Gongmen city!
Dad Panda: Oh.. Hi! Hey-Hey.. Son, you are back.
Mom Panda: Huh? Honey, what you doing here?
Po: But I thought..
Mom Panda: We replaced you, dear, with this lovely radish.
Po: Radish!?
Dad Panda: It's quiet, polite, and frankly.. It does better kung fu.
Po: No.. No, no, no! Wait! Radish, radish, radish! Inner pea.. pea.. Inner peace. Inner peace, inner peace, inner peace... I'm... Training.
Tigress: The mast is not a worthy opponent. I'm ready.
Po: Okay.. So serious! I think I prefer the mast.
Tigress: Apologies. I used to punch the ironwood trees by the palace to train. Now, I feel nothing.
Po: That's severely cool!
Tigress: Again!
Po: [training with Tigress on the boat] So, um, this punching ironwood trees, how long did you have to do that?
Tigress: 20 years.
Po: Oh! 20... 20 years. Is there any... you know, a faster way? You know, until you'll, you know, don't feel anything?
Tigress: No. Besides... [twists Po's fist, spins him in the air and lands on the floor; then smiles, watching Po's belly bounces to stop] I don't think hard style is... your thing.
Po: Oh.
Tigress: Po, why are you really out here?
Po: I just found out that my dad... isn't really my dad.
Tigress: Your dad, the goose? [Po nods; deadpan] That must have been quite a shock, and this bothers you?
Po: Are you kidding me? We're warriors, right? Nerves of steel, souls of Platinum. Like you. So hard core, you don't feel anything!
Tigress: I was…
Mantis: So, what you guys talking about?
Po: Nothing. Nothing!
Viper: Po's having daddy's issues.
Mantis: I'm so lucky, I don't have any problems with my dad. Maybe it's 'cause Mom ate his head before I was born. I don't know!
Viper: Mantis, this isn't about you! Po is the one freaking out.
Po: I'm not freaking out.
Tigress: Po...
Po: I'm freaking in.
Tigress: Po!
Po: What?
Tigress: We're here. Gongmen city!
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Shen: [enters the courtyard of his family palace] Good afternoon, gentlemen! Now that we've got the pleasantries out of the way, please leave my house.
Master Ox: Your house?
Shen: Yes, didn't you see the pea**** on the front door? [spots the Soothsayer] Ah, there you are, Soothsayer. It seems your fortune-telling skills are not as good as you thought.
Soothsayer: We shall see, Shen.
Shen: [under his breath] No, you shall see, old goat. [aloud, to the Council] Where were we?
Master Rhino: What do you want, Shen?
Shen: What is rightfully mine... Gongmen City!
Master Rhino: Gongmen is under the stewardship of the Masters' Council and we will protect it, even from you.
Shen: [laughs] I'm so glad you feel that way! Otherwise, I'd have dragged that here for nothing. [indicating his wolf army dragging a rather large box on a cart]
Master Ox: What's in the box, Shen?
Shen: You want to see? It's a gift. It's your parting gift, in that it'll part you; part of you here, part of you there, and part of you way over there, staining the wall!
Master Ox: You insolent fool!
[Ox attacks, but is quickly brought down; Croc moves in, deflecting Shen's fan of blades. Finally, Rhino pushes Shen back with his hammer, knocking several of his fan blades away.]
Shen: [sneering] Show-off.
Master Rhino: That is a warning. You are no match for our Kung Fu.
Shen: I agree. [grins wickedly] But this is! [flips backwards onto the box, revealing a massive cannon. Rhino takes a defensive stance... as Shen fires it.]
Master Ox: Your house?
Shen: Yes, didn't you see the pea**** on the front door? [spots the Soothsayer] Ah, there you are, Soothsayer. It seems your fortune-telling skills are not as good as you thought.
Soothsayer: We shall see, Shen.
Shen: [under his breath] No, you shall see, old goat. [aloud, to the Council] Where were we?
Master Rhino: What do you want, Shen?
Shen: What is rightfully mine... Gongmen City!
Master Rhino: Gongmen is under the stewardship of the Masters' Council and we will protect it, even from you.
Shen: [laughs] I'm so glad you feel that way! Otherwise, I'd have dragged that here for nothing. [indicating his wolf army dragging a rather large box on a cart]
Master Ox: What's in the box, Shen?
Shen: You want to see? It's a gift. It's your parting gift, in that it'll part you; part of you here, part of you there, and part of you way over there, staining the wall!
Master Ox: You insolent fool!
[Ox attacks, but is quickly brought down; Croc moves in, deflecting Shen's fan of blades. Finally, Rhino pushes Shen back with his hammer, knocking several of his fan blades away.]
Shen: [sneering] Show-off.
Master Rhino: That is a warning. You are no match for our Kung Fu.
Shen: I agree. [grins wickedly] But this is! [flips backwards onto the box, revealing a massive cannon. Rhino takes a defensive stance... as Shen fires it.]
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Shen: [triumphantly] You were wrong, Soothsayer! [wields sword] We sail to victory tonight. Your magic panda is clearly a fool!
Soothsayer: [angrily] Are you certain it is the panda that is a fool?! You just destroyed your ancestral home, Shen!
Shen: A trivial sacrifice... [sticks the sword's tip into a nearby fire, then pokes the burning tip to a map of China, which bursts into a spreading flame] when all of China is my reward.
Soothsayer: Then will you finally be satisfied? Will the subjugation of the whole world finally make you feel better?
Shen: [sneers] It's a start. I might also convert the basement into a dungeon.
[Her anger spent, Soothsayer approaches the pea****, who is standing at the balcony with his back to her.]
Soothsayer: The cup you choose to fill has no bottom. It is time to stop this madness.
Shen: [chuckles] Why on Earth would I do that?
Soothsayer: So your parents can rest in peace.
Shen: [bitterly] My parents... hated me. Do you understand? They-- they wronged me. And... I will make it right.
Soothsayer: [sadly] They loved you. They loved you so much that having to send you away killed them.
Shen: [pause] The dead exist in the past. And I must tend to the future. [to his gorilla guard] Set the Soothsayer free. She is of no use to me.
Soothsayer: [heartbroken] Goodbye, Shen. I wish you happiness.
Shen: Happiness... must be taken. And I will take mine.
[The gorilla guard leads the Soothsayer out]
Soothsayer: [angrily] Are you certain it is the panda that is a fool?! You just destroyed your ancestral home, Shen!
Shen: A trivial sacrifice... [sticks the sword's tip into a nearby fire, then pokes the burning tip to a map of China, which bursts into a spreading flame] when all of China is my reward.
Soothsayer: Then will you finally be satisfied? Will the subjugation of the whole world finally make you feel better?
Shen: [sneers] It's a start. I might also convert the basement into a dungeon.
[Her anger spent, Soothsayer approaches the pea****, who is standing at the balcony with his back to her.]
Soothsayer: The cup you choose to fill has no bottom. It is time to stop this madness.
Shen: [chuckles] Why on Earth would I do that?
Soothsayer: So your parents can rest in peace.
Shen: [bitterly] My parents... hated me. Do you understand? They-- they wronged me. And... I will make it right.
Soothsayer: [sadly] They loved you. They loved you so much that having to send you away killed them.
Shen: [pause] The dead exist in the past. And I must tend to the future. [to his gorilla guard] Set the Soothsayer free. She is of no use to me.
Soothsayer: [heartbroken] Goodbye, Shen. I wish you happiness.
Shen: Happiness... must be taken. And I will take mine.
[The gorilla guard leads the Soothsayer out]
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Shen: Call in the wolves! All of them! I want them ready to move! The Year of the Pea**** begins now!
Wolf Boss: Right now? 'Cause, it's the middle of the year, so you'd only get like, uh, half the Year of the Pea****. [Shen glares furiously at the Wolf Boss and points one of his blades at him] And this is the Year, of course, of the Pea****. Happy New Year, sir.
Shen: Get the wolves ready. We're loading the ships now. NOW!!! NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW!
Wolf Boss: Right now? 'Cause, it's the middle of the year, so you'd only get like, uh, half the Year of the Pea****. [Shen glares furiously at the Wolf Boss and points one of his blades at him] And this is the Year, of course, of the Pea****. Happy New Year, sir.
Shen: Get the wolves ready. We're loading the ships now. NOW!!! NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW!