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Keith: How are you gonna be a revolutionary if you're such a traditionalist? You hold onto the past, but jazz is about the future.
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Bill: You're fired.
Sebastian: It's Christmas.
Bill: Yeah, I see the decorations. Good luck in the New Year.
Sebastian: It's Christmas.
Bill: Yeah, I see the decorations. Good luck in the New Year.
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Laura: When are you gonna unpack these boxes?
Sebastian: When I unpack them in my own club.
Laura: Oh, Sebastian. It's like a girl broke up with you and you're stalking her. You're not still going by there, are you?
Sebastian: That's... you won't believe that they turned it into a samba-tapas place.
Laura: Oh, my god, Sebastian!
Sebastian: Samba. Tapas. Pick one, you know? Do one right.
Sebastian: When I unpack them in my own club.
Laura: Oh, Sebastian. It's like a girl broke up with you and you're stalking her. You're not still going by there, are you?
Sebastian: That's... you won't believe that they turned it into a samba-tapas place.
Laura: Oh, my god, Sebastian!
Sebastian: Samba. Tapas. Pick one, you know? Do one right.
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Mia: Honestly, I wish I loved something else. I've tried so hard to want other things. I left school after two years to come here, my fourth manager just dropped me, and my last audition was for a teen soap pitched as Dangerous Minds meets The O.C.. Should've been a lawyer.
Sebastian: Cause the world needs more lawyers.
Mia: Well it doesn't need more actresses.
Sebastian: You're not just an actress.
Mia: What do you mean, "just an actress"?
Sebastian: You said it yourself, you're a child-prodigy playwright.
Mia: That is not what I said.
Sebastian: You're too modest to say it but it's true. So you could write your own roles. Write something that's as interesting as you are.
Mia: Last thing I wrote was a stand-up routine for an open-mic night. It was horrible.
Sebastian: All I'm saying is Louis Armstrong could have played the marching-band charts he was given. What did he do instead?
Mia: I don’t know. What did he do.
Sebastian: Well, He made history, didn’t he?
Mia: OK, I'll stop auditioning and make history instead.
Sebastian: [laughs] My work here is done.
Sebastian: Cause the world needs more lawyers.
Mia: Well it doesn't need more actresses.
Sebastian: You're not just an actress.
Mia: What do you mean, "just an actress"?
Sebastian: You said it yourself, you're a child-prodigy playwright.
Mia: That is not what I said.
Sebastian: You're too modest to say it but it's true. So you could write your own roles. Write something that's as interesting as you are.
Mia: Last thing I wrote was a stand-up routine for an open-mic night. It was horrible.
Sebastian: All I'm saying is Louis Armstrong could have played the marching-band charts he was given. What did he do instead?
Mia: I don’t know. What did he do.
Sebastian: Well, He made history, didn’t he?
Mia: OK, I'll stop auditioning and make history instead.
Sebastian: [laughs] My work here is done.
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Mia: I should probably tell you something now, just to get it out of the way.
Sebastian: Mm-hmm?
Mia: I hate jazz
Sebastian: What do you mean you hate jazz?
Mia: It just means that when I listen to it, I don't like it.
Sebastian: Mm-hmm?
Mia: I hate jazz
Sebastian: What do you mean you hate jazz?
Mia: It just means that when I listen to it, I don't like it.
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Mia: It's pretty strange that we keep running into each other.
Sebastian: Maybe it means something.
Mia: I doubt it.
Sebastian: Yeah, I didn't think so.
Sebastian: Maybe it means something.
Mia: I doubt it.
Sebastian: Yeah, I didn't think so.
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Mia: Why did you come here?
Sebastian: Because I have good news.
Mia: What?
Sebastian: Amy Brandt, the casting director? Yeah. She was at your play, and she loved it. And she loved it so much that she wants you to come in tomorrow and audition for this huge movie that she's got.
Mia: I'm not going to that. [pause] I'm not going to that.
Sebastian: What?
Mia: That one's gonna be...No. That one's gonna be...
Sebastian: I'm sorry?
Mia: That will kill me.
Sebastian: [shouting] What?! What? What?
Mia: Shh! Stop!
Sebastian: No!
Mia: Shh! Shh! You have to be quiet. We're in a neighborhood.
Sebastian: If you want me to be quiet, you have to make some goddamn sense! Tell me why you're not going.
Mia: They'll call the police. Because. Because...
Sebastian: Why?
Mia: I've been to a million auditions, and the same thing happens every time where I get interrupted because someone wants to get a sandwich. Or I'm crying, and they start laughing. Or there's people sitting in the waiting room, and they're like me, but prettier and better at the...Because maybe I'm not good enough!
Sebastian: Yes, you are.
Mia: No...No, maybe I'm not.
Sebastian: Yes, you are.
Mia: Maybe I'm not.
Sebastian: You are.
Mia: Maybe I'm one of those people that has always wanted to do it, but it's like a pipe dream for me, you know? And then, you said it, you change your dreams, and then you grow up. Maybe I'm one of those people, and I'm not supposed to. And I can go back to school, and I can find something else I'm supposed to do. 'Cause I left to do that, and it's been six years, and I don't want to do it anymore.
Sebastian: Why?
Mia: Why what?
Sebastian: Why don't you want to do it anymore?
Mia: 'Cause I think it hurts a little bit too much.
Sebastian: You're a baby.
Mia: I'm not a baby. I'm trying to grow up.
Sebastian: You are. You're crying like a baby.
Mia: Oh, my God.
Sebastian: You have an audition tomorrow at 5:30. I'll be out front at 8:00 A.M. You'll be out front or not, I don't know.
Sebastian: Because I have good news.
Mia: What?
Sebastian: Amy Brandt, the casting director? Yeah. She was at your play, and she loved it. And she loved it so much that she wants you to come in tomorrow and audition for this huge movie that she's got.
Mia: I'm not going to that. [pause] I'm not going to that.
Sebastian: What?
Mia: That one's gonna be...No. That one's gonna be...
Sebastian: I'm sorry?
Mia: That will kill me.
Sebastian: [shouting] What?! What? What?
Mia: Shh! Stop!
Sebastian: No!
Mia: Shh! Shh! You have to be quiet. We're in a neighborhood.
Sebastian: If you want me to be quiet, you have to make some goddamn sense! Tell me why you're not going.
Mia: They'll call the police. Because. Because...
Sebastian: Why?
Mia: I've been to a million auditions, and the same thing happens every time where I get interrupted because someone wants to get a sandwich. Or I'm crying, and they start laughing. Or there's people sitting in the waiting room, and they're like me, but prettier and better at the...Because maybe I'm not good enough!
Sebastian: Yes, you are.
Mia: No...No, maybe I'm not.
Sebastian: Yes, you are.
Mia: Maybe I'm not.
Sebastian: You are.
Mia: Maybe I'm one of those people that has always wanted to do it, but it's like a pipe dream for me, you know? And then, you said it, you change your dreams, and then you grow up. Maybe I'm one of those people, and I'm not supposed to. And I can go back to school, and I can find something else I'm supposed to do. 'Cause I left to do that, and it's been six years, and I don't want to do it anymore.
Sebastian: Why?
Mia: Why what?
Sebastian: Why don't you want to do it anymore?
Mia: 'Cause I think it hurts a little bit too much.
Sebastian: You're a baby.
Mia: I'm not a baby. I'm trying to grow up.
Sebastian: You are. You're crying like a baby.
Mia: Oh, my God.
Sebastian: You have an audition tomorrow at 5:30. I'll be out front at 8:00 A.M. You'll be out front or not, I don't know.
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Sebastian: Alright, I remember you. And I'll admit I was a little curt that night.
Mia: "Curt?"
Sebastian: Okay, I was an asshole. I can admit that. But requesting "I Ran" from a serious musician? It's just, it's too far.
Mia: My Lord, did you just say "a serious musician?"
Sebastian: I don't think so.
Mia: Can I borrow what you're wearing?
Sebastian: Why?
Mia: Because I have an audition next week. I'm playing a serious firefighter.
Sebastian: So you're an actress? I thought you looked familiar. Have I seen you in anything?
Mia: Uhh, the coffee shop on the Warner Brothers lot, that's a classic.
Sebastian: Oh I see.
Mia: Yeah.
Sebastian: So you're a barista? And I can see how you could then look down on me from all the way up there.
Singer: Sebastian. Second set.
Sebastian: He doesn't tell me what to do.
Mia: He just told you what to do.
Sebastian: I let him. [pause] What's your name?
Mia: Mia.
Sebastian: Mia. Guess I'll see you in the movies.
Mia: "Curt?"
Sebastian: Okay, I was an asshole. I can admit that. But requesting "I Ran" from a serious musician? It's just, it's too far.
Mia: My Lord, did you just say "a serious musician?"
Sebastian: I don't think so.
Mia: Can I borrow what you're wearing?
Sebastian: Why?
Mia: Because I have an audition next week. I'm playing a serious firefighter.
Sebastian: So you're an actress? I thought you looked familiar. Have I seen you in anything?
Mia: Uhh, the coffee shop on the Warner Brothers lot, that's a classic.
Sebastian: Oh I see.
Mia: Yeah.
Sebastian: So you're a barista? And I can see how you could then look down on me from all the way up there.
Singer: Sebastian. Second set.
Sebastian: He doesn't tell me what to do.
Mia: He just told you what to do.
Sebastian: I let him. [pause] What's your name?
Mia: Mia.
Sebastian: Mia. Guess I'll see you in the movies.
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Sebastian: I had a very serious plan for my future.
Laura: I know.
Sebastian: It's not my fault I got shanghaied.
Laura: You didn't get shanghaied. You got ripped off.
Sebastian: What's the difference?
Laura: I don't know. It's not as romantic as that.
Sebastian: Why do you say "romantic" like it's a dirty word?
Laura: Unpaid bills are not romantic. Call her.
Sebastian: I'm not gonna call her. And the thing is y-y-y-you're acting like life's got me on the ropes. I want to be on the ropes, okay? I'm just... I'm letting life hit me 'til it gets tired.
Laura: Oh?
Sebastian: Then I'm gonna hit back. It's a classic rope-a-dope.
Laura: Okay, Ali. I love you. Unpack the boxes.
Sebastian: I'm gonna change the locks.
Laura: You can't afford it.
Sebastian: I'm a phoenix rising from the ashes.
Laura: I know.
Sebastian: It's not my fault I got shanghaied.
Laura: You didn't get shanghaied. You got ripped off.
Sebastian: What's the difference?
Laura: I don't know. It's not as romantic as that.
Sebastian: Why do you say "romantic" like it's a dirty word?
Laura: Unpaid bills are not romantic. Call her.
Sebastian: I'm not gonna call her. And the thing is y-y-y-you're acting like life's got me on the ropes. I want to be on the ropes, okay? I'm just... I'm letting life hit me 'til it gets tired.
Laura: Oh?
Sebastian: Then I'm gonna hit back. It's a classic rope-a-dope.
Laura: Okay, Ali. I love you. Unpack the boxes.
Sebastian: I'm gonna change the locks.
Laura: You can't afford it.
Sebastian: I'm a phoenix rising from the ashes.
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Sebastian: I thought you wanted me to do this, it just sounds like now you don't want me to do it.
Mia: What do you mean, I wanted you to do this?
Sebastian: This is what you wanted for me.
Mia: To be in this band?
Sebastian: To be in a band, to have a steady job, you know to be... you know.
Mia: Of course, I wanted you to have a steady job so that you could take care of yourself and your life and you could start your club.
Sebastian: Yeah, so I'm doing that, so I don't understand like why aren't we celebrating?
Mia: Why aren't you starting your club?
Sebastian: You said yourself no one wants to go that club. No one wants to go to a club called 'Chicken on a Stick.'
Mia: So change the name!
Sebastian: Well, no one likes jazz, not even you!
Mia: I do like jazz now, because of you!
Sebastian: What am I supposed to do? Go back to playing "Jingle Bells" so I can save money for some Shangri-La club no one wants to go to?
Mia: People will want to go to it because you're passionate about it and people love what other people are passionate about. You remind people of what they've forgotten.
Sebastian: Not in my experience. [pause] Anyway, it's time to grow up. You know? This is what I'm doing. If you had a problem, I wish you would've said something earlier, before I signed on the dotted line.
Mia: You had a dream that you were sticking to, that...
Sebastian: This is the dream!
Mia: This is not your dream.
Sebastian: Guys like me go their whole lives and never do anything that's liked. I'm finally doing something that people enjoy. What is wrong with that?
Mia: Why do you care so much about being liked?
Sebastian: You're an actress, what are we talking about? [pause] Maybe you liked me more when I was a failure because it made you feel better about yourself.
[long pause]
Mia: Are you kidding?
Sebastian: No.
Mia: What do you mean, I wanted you to do this?
Sebastian: This is what you wanted for me.
Mia: To be in this band?
Sebastian: To be in a band, to have a steady job, you know to be... you know.
Mia: Of course, I wanted you to have a steady job so that you could take care of yourself and your life and you could start your club.
Sebastian: Yeah, so I'm doing that, so I don't understand like why aren't we celebrating?
Mia: Why aren't you starting your club?
Sebastian: You said yourself no one wants to go that club. No one wants to go to a club called 'Chicken on a Stick.'
Mia: So change the name!
Sebastian: Well, no one likes jazz, not even you!
Mia: I do like jazz now, because of you!
Sebastian: What am I supposed to do? Go back to playing "Jingle Bells" so I can save money for some Shangri-La club no one wants to go to?
Mia: People will want to go to it because you're passionate about it and people love what other people are passionate about. You remind people of what they've forgotten.
Sebastian: Not in my experience. [pause] Anyway, it's time to grow up. You know? This is what I'm doing. If you had a problem, I wish you would've said something earlier, before I signed on the dotted line.
Mia: You had a dream that you were sticking to, that...
Sebastian: This is the dream!
Mia: This is not your dream.
Sebastian: Guys like me go their whole lives and never do anything that's liked. I'm finally doing something that people enjoy. What is wrong with that?
Mia: Why do you care so much about being liked?
Sebastian: You're an actress, what are we talking about? [pause] Maybe you liked me more when I was a failure because it made you feel better about yourself.
[long pause]
Mia: Are you kidding?
Sebastian: No.
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Sebastian: I want to let you know you're looking at a new man.
Bill: Good.
Sebastian: A man who's happy to be here.
Bill: Excellent.
Sebastian: Very easy to work with. Yeah.
Bill: Right, and you'll play the set list.
Sebastian: Happy to. Even though I don’t think anyone cares what I play, but yeah.
Bill: Well, if by “anyone” you mean anyone other than me, that would be correct. I care and I don’t want to hear the free jazz.
Sebastian: Right. Okay. Although I, I thought in this town it worked on a sort of “one for you, one for me” basis type system. How about two for you, one for me?
[Bill doesn’t answer]
Sebastian: How about all for you and none for me?
Bill: That’s perfect, yes.
Sebastian: Great.
Bill: Okay.
Sebastian: Okay, a mutual decision then.
Bill: Right, made by me.
Sebastian: Right, and I sign off on it, so.
Bill: Whatever. Tell yourself what you want to know.
Bill: Good.
Sebastian: A man who's happy to be here.
Bill: Excellent.
Sebastian: Very easy to work with. Yeah.
Bill: Right, and you'll play the set list.
Sebastian: Happy to. Even though I don’t think anyone cares what I play, but yeah.
Bill: Well, if by “anyone” you mean anyone other than me, that would be correct. I care and I don’t want to hear the free jazz.
Sebastian: Right. Okay. Although I, I thought in this town it worked on a sort of “one for you, one for me” basis type system. How about two for you, one for me?
[Bill doesn’t answer]
Sebastian: How about all for you and none for me?
Bill: That’s perfect, yes.
Sebastian: Great.
Bill: Okay.
Sebastian: Okay, a mutual decision then.
Bill: Right, made by me.
Sebastian: Right, and I sign off on it, so.
Bill: Whatever. Tell yourself what you want to know.
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Sebastian: You should come.
Mia: To Boise?
Sebastian: You can knock it off your bucket list.
Mia: To Boise?
Sebastian: You can knock it off your bucket list.
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Tracy: [after Sebastian honks car horn outside Mia's apartment] Is that gonna happen every time?
Mia: [smiling] I think so.
Mia: [smiling] I think so.