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Aaron: After we, after we met, I was sent home and excommunicated from my church... for being gay.
Lila: Your church doesn't like alcohol or homosexuals. Hmm... Well, I definitely won't be joining. Can't imagine heaven without both.
Lila: Your church doesn't like alcohol or homosexuals. Hmm... Well, I definitely won't be joining. Can't imagine heaven without both.
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Aaron: I am being sent home in shame. And I'm probably going to be ex-communicated.
Christian: For just a kiss? Don't get me wrong, it was a nice kiss, but hey, come on, we didn't even get to use our tongues.
Christian: For just a kiss? Don't get me wrong, it was a nice kiss, but hey, come on, we didn't even get to use our tongues.
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Aaron: It looks like you're bleeding. You ok?
Christian: Um, nah, I'm fine, just go back to your reading.
[Collapses]
Christian: Um, nah, I'm fine, just go back to your reading.
[Collapses]
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Aaron: Maybe you equate sex with a handshake and that's what? Like a badge? What do you want me to congratulate you?
Christian: Hey, don't you preach to me, ok? Who are you, some kid from the sticks? You come in here and think you can ****ing judge me?
Aaron: Oh yeah, I'm just some doodah pudknocker from Pocatello. They ship us here from Dork Island.
Christian:[laughing] What?
Aaron: I'm saying I know how ****ed you think I am, ok? You found me out, all right? My worst secret. And I'm humiliated now, so your work is done here.
Christian: Wait, I don't think you're a dork. But if you know how ridiculous you look, why would you do it?
Aaron: Don't you believe in anything?
Christian: Yeah.
Aaron: Then tell me! You tell me one thing in your life, one thing without a shadow of a doubt that you really believe.
Christian: I believe that Ann Margaret has never been given her due as an actress.
Aaron: Duh, for Tommy alone and did you see her when she was...
[stops himself]
Christian: Hey, don't you preach to me, ok? Who are you, some kid from the sticks? You come in here and think you can ****ing judge me?
Aaron: Oh yeah, I'm just some doodah pudknocker from Pocatello. They ship us here from Dork Island.
Christian:[laughing] What?
Aaron: I'm saying I know how ****ed you think I am, ok? You found me out, all right? My worst secret. And I'm humiliated now, so your work is done here.
Christian: Wait, I don't think you're a dork. But if you know how ridiculous you look, why would you do it?
Aaron: Don't you believe in anything?
Christian: Yeah.
Aaron: Then tell me! You tell me one thing in your life, one thing without a shadow of a doubt that you really believe.
Christian: I believe that Ann Margaret has never been given her due as an actress.
Aaron: Duh, for Tommy alone and did you see her when she was...
[stops himself]
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Andrew: Quit bitching. It's the early bird that gets the worm.
Christian:Huh, there's an incentive, expecially when you can get pizza til 2am.
Andrew: Ok, here's the deal. After your training, I'm gonna set you up with a route.
Christian: A route? On my first day?
Andrew: It's what you do already, it's delivering food - only this time you're driving. Think of yourself as a waiter on wheels.
Christian: Great. Give me some hot pants and roller skates, this will be the fulfillment of a dream.
Andrew: [looks Christian up and down] For all of us.
Christian:Huh, there's an incentive, expecially when you can get pizza til 2am.
Andrew: Ok, here's the deal. After your training, I'm gonna set you up with a route.
Christian: A route? On my first day?
Andrew: It's what you do already, it's delivering food - only this time you're driving. Think of yourself as a waiter on wheels.
Christian: Great. Give me some hot pants and roller skates, this will be the fulfillment of a dream.
Andrew: [looks Christian up and down] For all of us.
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Christian: Where did we end up last night?
Julie: I don't know, but I woke up without my bra, that's never a good sign.
Christian [Looks down and notices he's wearing it]: Uh, I wouldn't worry about it.
Julie: I don't know, but I woke up without my bra, that's never a good sign.
Christian [Looks down and notices he's wearing it]: Uh, I wouldn't worry about it.
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Elder Farron Davis: As president of the Pocatello stake it is my unhappy duty and obligation to convene this church court on behalf of the Elder Aaron Davis for the grave and grievous sin, of homosexuality. In the light of your abnormal and abominable state and your refusal to see you have been duped into a hogwash alternative lifestyle...I wish my shame was enough for both of us. Not to mention the shame you brought to this church...our family...our ancestors...
Aaron: Wait a minute, our ancestors? Dad, your grandfather had half a dozen wives, and the same goes for every single person in this room. I'd say we were the original definition of 'alternative lifestyle.'
Elder Farron Davis: Are you calling us hypocrites?
Aaron: No, we've gone way beyond hypocrisy, Dad, now we're just being mean.
Aaron: Wait a minute, our ancestors? Dad, your grandfather had half a dozen wives, and the same goes for every single person in this room. I'd say we were the original definition of 'alternative lifestyle.'
Elder Farron Davis: Are you calling us hypocrites?
Aaron: No, we've gone way beyond hypocrisy, Dad, now we're just being mean.
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Gilford: Dang it Elder, I'm gonna hit you and it's gonna hurt.
Harmon: I don't know what pain is.
[Gilford hits him]
Harmon: Ah! Ow! Hey, that hurt!
Gilford: I warned you.
Harmon: I don't know what pain is.
[Gilford hits him]
Harmon: Ah! Ow! Hey, that hurt!
Gilford: I warned you.
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Julie: And you, you can tell that friend of yours, to go **** himself.
Andrew: You know, I only have one friend who can actually do that, and I doubt you've met.
Andrew: You know, I only have one friend who can actually do that, and I doubt you've met.
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Julie: Now, I don't want you to snap to some judgement.
Christian: Why? Is it some kind of a nasty ass Christina Aguilera skank-a-rama kinda video?
Christian: Why? Is it some kind of a nasty ass Christina Aguilera skank-a-rama kinda video?
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Julie: Wait, are you still not over missionary man?
Christian: I don't know.
Julie: Chris...
Christian: It's weird with him disappearing like that.
Julie: Ok, well then, just stop moping like a school girl, and do something about it. Call him.
Christian: Just dial 1-800-TORTURED MORMON?
Julie: Probably. It sounds like there are enough of them.
Christian: I don't know.
Julie: Chris...
Christian: It's weird with him disappearing like that.
Julie: Ok, well then, just stop moping like a school girl, and do something about it. Call him.
Christian: Just dial 1-800-TORTURED MORMON?
Julie: Probably. It sounds like there are enough of them.
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Julie: Why don't we play two-on-two?
Ryder: But you're...
Julie: A girl? So I can't play. But then again, I am black, so maybe I can. Your problem's gonna be deciding which one of your narrow-minded stereotypes is gonna kick your lily-white ass.
Ryder: Yeah, right.
Julie: Afraid you'll get beat?
Christian: By a girl, and a ****?
Ryder: We'll mop you like a dirty floor.
[Game on]
Ryder: But you're...
Julie: A girl? So I can't play. But then again, I am black, so maybe I can. Your problem's gonna be deciding which one of your narrow-minded stereotypes is gonna kick your lily-white ass.
Ryder: Yeah, right.
Julie: Afraid you'll get beat?
Christian: By a girl, and a ****?
Ryder: We'll mop you like a dirty floor.
[Game on]
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Keith Griffin: It doesn't matter, I'm still not hungry.
Christian: I don't remember asking if you were. I just deliver this stuff, remember? But my friend Andrew made this and he doesn't even cook for his boyfriends so the least you could do is try to be polite... and eat it.
Keith Griffin: I don't have to pretend to be polite. I think I've, I think I've earned that right.
Christian: Oh yes, that's right; you're dying, you're bitter, blah, blah, blah... Fortunately I'm shallow so I'm impervious to that, now eat it.
Keith Griffin: Impervious? Bet you don't know how to spell that.
Christian: Sure I do, it's spelled: Bite me. And just to show that our little problems in this world don't amount to a hill of beans, I'm gonna read about some people that have some real trouble.
[Opens The National Enquirer]
Christian: I don't remember asking if you were. I just deliver this stuff, remember? But my friend Andrew made this and he doesn't even cook for his boyfriends so the least you could do is try to be polite... and eat it.
Keith Griffin: I don't have to pretend to be polite. I think I've, I think I've earned that right.
Christian: Oh yes, that's right; you're dying, you're bitter, blah, blah, blah... Fortunately I'm shallow so I'm impervious to that, now eat it.
Keith Griffin: Impervious? Bet you don't know how to spell that.
Christian: Sure I do, it's spelled: Bite me. And just to show that our little problems in this world don't amount to a hill of beans, I'm gonna read about some people that have some real trouble.
[Opens The National Enquirer]
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Mort: Conversation? Why?
Christian: Don't you ever want to get to know someone? Have it... mean something. Sleep with someone and actually sleep with them.
Mort: You want to, what? Sleep, together? I don't know, man. Isn't that kinda intimate?
Christian: Excuse me, a moment ago you were licking my spleen, but sleeping with you would be too intimate?
Christian: Don't you ever want to get to know someone? Have it... mean something. Sleep with someone and actually sleep with them.
Mort: You want to, what? Sleep, together? I don't know, man. Isn't that kinda intimate?
Christian: Excuse me, a moment ago you were licking my spleen, but sleeping with you would be too intimate?