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[after having sex with Christian] Well, I'm already going to Hell for kissing you, so I may as well take the scenic route.
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[confronting his mother] What if it's not something I've done? What if it's who I am?
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[On Mormons] Oh, honey, you do not want to let them get into your psyche. You start off listening to Amy Grant, but then, before you know, it's 3am and you got your Visa card and you're giving it to that scary bitch on TV with the lavender hair.
...
Andrew: I dated this guy once, actor, cute, Southern, came from this real religious family. Well, his parents found out he was gay and can you say drama? They sent him to one of those Christian change ministries.
Traci: Wow, did he change?
Andrew: Did he? Miss Thang used to be a top. I'm serious. He's still gayer than a box of birds.
Andrew: I dated this Mormon guy once, his family put him through shock therapy. We'd have sex, he was a wild man. Then he'd want to throw himself out the window.
Traci: So? You live on the first floor.
Andrew: Yes, but it's hell on my azaleas.
Julie: What, you would have sex to help your career?
Andrew: Honey, I've blown a guy just to get him out of my apartment. Sex for my career would be noble.
Andrew: I dated this guy once, actor, cute, Southern, came from this real religious family. Well, his parents found out he was gay and can you say drama? They sent him to one of those Christian change ministries.
Traci: Wow, did he change?
Andrew: Did he? Miss Thang used to be a top. I'm serious. He's still gayer than a box of birds.
Andrew: I dated this Mormon guy once, his family put him through shock therapy. We'd have sex, he was a wild man. Then he'd want to throw himself out the window.
Traci: So? You live on the first floor.
Andrew: Yes, but it's hell on my azaleas.
Julie: What, you would have sex to help your career?
Andrew: Honey, I've blown a guy just to get him out of my apartment. Sex for my career would be noble.