Lethal Weapon quotes

View Quote Culprit: [punches Murtaugh in the mouth] The shipment, Mr. Murtaugh.
Roger Murtaugh: Go spit!

View Quote General Peter McAllister: Kill the son of a bitch!
Martin Riggs: Who's ****ing next!? McAllister!

View Quote Martin Riggs: Hey, look friend, let's just cut the shit. Now we both know why I was transferred. Everybody thinks I'm suicidal, in which case, I'm ****ed and nobody wants to work with me; or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm ****ed and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm ****ed.
Roger Murtaugh: Guess what?
Martin Riggs: What?
Roger Murtaugh: I don't want to work with you!
Martin Riggs: Hey, don't.
Roger Murtaugh: Ain't got no choice! Looks like we both been ****ed!
Martin Riggs: Terrific.
Roger Murtaugh: God hates me. That's what it is.
Martin Riggs: Hate him back; it works for me.

View Quote Martin Riggs: Hey, you know what?
Roger Murtaugh: What?
Martin Riggs: Well, I think your daughter kinda likes me.
Roger Murtaugh: If you touch her, I'll kill you.
Martin Riggs: Ha! You'll try.

View Quote Martin Riggs: How about it, Jack? Would you like a shot at the title?
Mr. Joshua: Don't mind if I do.
Martin Riggs: [real tough] I want your title.
Mr. Joshua: [smirks] Okay.

View Quote Martin Riggs: The guy who shot me! The same Albino jackrabbit son of a bitch who did Hunsacker!
Roger Murtaugh: You sure?
Martin Riggs: Yeah, I'm sure man. I never forget an asshole.

View Quote Martin Riggs: What did he mean back there when he said you owed him?
Roger Murtaugh: We served together in '65. la Drang Valley. Saved my life. Took a bayonet in the lungs.
Martin Riggs: That was nice of him.

View Quote Martin Riggs: You know they're gonna kill her, don't you?
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah.
Martin Riggs: So, if you want her back, you're gonna have to take her away from them.
Roger Murtaugh: I know.
Martin Riggs: You do this my way. You shoot, you shoot to kill, get as many of them as you can. All you gotta do is just not miss.
Roger Murtaugh: I won't miss.
Martin Riggs: We're gonna get bloody on this one, Rog.
Roger Murtaugh: Are you really crazy... or are you as good as you say you are?
Martin Riggs: You're gonna have to trust me.

View Quote Martin Riggs: You want me to drive?
Roger Murtaugh: No, you're supposed to be suicidal, remember? I'LL drive.
Martin Riggs: Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal.

View Quote Roger Murtaugh: Have you ever met anybody you didn't kill?
Martin Riggs:: Well, I haven't killed you yet.

View Quote Roger Murtaugh: Hey, Riggs!
Martin Riggs: Yo.
Roger Murtaugh: If you think I'm gonna eat the world's lousiest Christmas turkey by myself, you're crazy.
Martin Riggs: Well, I got news for you, Rog... I'm not crazy.
Roger Murtaugh: I know.
Martin Riggs: Well, good. Let's eat.

View Quote Roger Murtaugh: Listen, sorry about all that shit I was in your face about earlier... you saved my life. Thank you.
Martin Riggs: Oh, I bet that hurt to say.
Roger Murtaugh: [chuckles] You'll never know.

View Quote Roger Murtaugh: Okay, clown, no bullshit! You wanna kill yourself?
Martin Riggs: Oh, for Chriss-...
Roger Murtaugh: Shut up! Yes or no - you wanna die?!
Martin Riggs: Oh, I got the job done! What the hell do you want?!
Roger Murtaugh: JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!
Martin Riggs: Well, what do you wanna hear, man?! Do you wanna hear that sometimes I think about eatin' a bullet?! HUH!? Well, I do! I even got a special bullet for the occasion with a hollow point, look! Make sure it blows the back of my goddamned head out and do the job right! Every single day I wake up and I think of a reason not to do it! Every single day! You know why I don't do it?! This is gonna make you laugh! You know why I don't do it?! The job! Doin' the job! Now that's the reason!

View Quote Endo here has forgotten more about dispensing pain than you and I will nver know.

View Quote General McAlister, time for you to die.