Lisa Berndle quotes
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[voiceover] By the time you read this letter, I may be dead. I have so much to tell you and perhaps very little time. Will I ever send it? I don't know. I must find strength to write now before it's too late, and as I write it may become clear that what happened to us had its own reason beyond our poor understanding. If this reaches you, you will know how I became yours when you didn't know who I was or even that I existed.
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[voiceover] I think everyone has two birthdays, the day of his physical birth and the beginning of his conscious life. Nothing is vivid or real in my memory before that day in Spring when I came home from school and found a moving van in front of our building. I wondered about our new neighbor who owned such beautiful things.
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[voiceover] Yes, I was blushing, and hard as it may be for you to realize, from that moment on I was in love with you. Quite consciously, I began to prepare myself for you. I kept my clothes neater so you wouldn't be ashamed of me. I went to dancing school. I wanted to become more graceful and learn good manners for you. And so I would know more about you and your world, I...I went to the library and studied the lives of the great musicians of the past. Though I was not able to go to your concerts, I found ways of sharing in your success.
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[voiceover] You who have always lived so freely, have you any idea what life is like in a little garrison town? I was eighteen now and was expected to take my place in society.
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[voiceover] Well...I...I only told him the truth...I told him I wasn't free. My poor parents, for them this was the end. For me, it was a new beginning.
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[voiceover] The course of our lives can be changed by such little things. So many passing by, each intent on his own problems. So many faces that one might easily have been lost. I know now that nothing happens by chance. Every moment is measured; every step is counted.
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[voiceover] I'd come to tell you about us, to offer you my whole life, but you didn't even remember me.
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[voiceover] Now I'm alone. My head throbs and my temples are burning. Perhaps God has been kind, and I too have caught the fever. If this letter reaches you, believe this - that I love you now as I've always loved you. My life can be measured by the moments I've had with you and our child. If only you could have shared those moments, if only you could have recognized what was always yours, could have found what was never lost. If only...
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[voiceover] Oh, if only you could have recognized what was always yours, could have found what was never lost.