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[Brian is caught graffiti-ing a wall]
Centurion: What's this then? "Romanes eunt domus"? "People called Romanes, they go the 'ouse"?
Brian: [terrified] It... it says "Romans go home".
Centurion: No it doesn't. What's Latin for "Roman"? [Brian hesitates.] Come on, come on!
Brian: "Romanus"?
Centurion: Goes like...?
Brian: "Annus"?
Centurion: Vocative plural of "annus" is...?
Brian: "Anni."
Centurion: [writing] "Romani". "Eunt"? What is "eunt"?
Brian: "Go".
Centurion: Conjugate the verb "to go".
Brian: Ire, eo, is, it, imus, itis, eunt.
Centurion: So "eunt" is...?
Brian: Third person plural, present indicative. "They go".
Centurion: But "Romans go home" is an order, so you must use the…?
Brian: [getting his earlock pulled, increasingly panicked] Ah, imperative?
Centurion: Which is…?
Brian: Uh, uhm, "i"! "I"!
Centurion: How many Romans?
Brian: Aah! Plural, plural! "Ite"! "Ite"!
Centurion: [writing] "Ite". "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home", this is motion towards, isn't it, boy?”
Brian: Dative? [centurion draws his sword and holds it to Brian's throat] Ah! Not dative! Not the dative, sir! Ah! Ah! Oh! Accusative, accusative! "Domum", sir, "ad domum".
Centurion: Except that "domus" takes the…?
Brian: The locative, sir?
Centurion: Which is…?
Brian: "Domum"!
Centurion: "Domum". [writing] "Um". Understand?
Brian: Yes, sir.
Centurion: Now write it out a 'undred times.
Brian: Yes sir, thank you sir, Hail Caesar sir. [calming down]
Centurion: Hail Caesar. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.
Brian: Oh thank you sir. Thank you sir. Hail Caesar and everything sir.
[at sunrise the wall is covered in writing]
Brian: [exhausted, finishing the last line] Finished!
Centurion: Right. Now don't do it again.
[Brian climbs down the ladder, steps back and surveys his handiwork. Three Roman centurions appear, look at the wall, then turn to Brian in anger. Brian looks at them; his eyes widen in realisation as he runs away and they give chase]

[ Brian is caught graffiti-ing a wall ] Centurion : What's this then? "Romanes eunt domus"? "People called Romanes, they go the 'ouse"? Brian : [ terrified ] It... it says "Romans go home". Centurion : No it doesn't. What's Latin for "Roman"? [Brian hesitates.] Come on, come on! Brian : "Romanus"? Centurion : Goes like...? Brian : "Annus"? Centurion : Vocative plural of "annus" is...? Brian : "Anni." Centurion : [ writing ] "Romani". "Eunt"? What is "eunt"? Brian : "Go". Centurion : Conjugate the verb "to go". Brian : Ire, eo, is, it, imus, itis, eunt. Centurion : So "eunt" is...? Brian : Third person plural, present indicative. "They go". Centurion : But "Romans go home" is an order, so you must use the…? Brian : [ getting his earlock pulled, increasingly panicked ] Ah, imperative? Centurion : Which is…? Brian : Uh, uhm, "i"! "I"! Centurion : How many Romans? Brian : Aah! Plural, plural! "Ite"! "Ite"! Centurion : [ writing ] "Ite". "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home", this is motion towards, isn't it, boy?” Brian : Dative? [ centurion draws his sword and holds it to Brian's throat ] Ah! Not dative! Not the dative, sir! Ah! Ah! Oh! Accusative, accusative! "Domum", sir, "ad domum". Centurion : Except that "domus" takes the…? Brian : The locative, sir? Centurion : Which is…? Brian : "Domum"! Centurion : "Domum". [ writing ] "Um". Understand? Brian : Yes, sir. Centurion : Now write it out a 'undred times. Brian : Yes sir, thank you sir, Hail Caesar sir. [ calming down ] Centurion : Hail Caesar. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off. Brian : Oh thank you sir. Thank you sir. Hail Caesar and everything sir. [ at sunrise the wall is covered in writing ] Brian : [ exhausted, finishing the last line ] Finished! Centurion : Right. Now don't do it again. [ Brian climbs down the ladder, steps back and surveys his handiwork. Three Roman centurions appear, look at the wall, then turn to Brian in anger. Brian looks at them; his eyes widen in realisation as he runs away and they give chase ]