Live and Let Die quotes

View Quote Cab driver: You know where you're going?
James Bond: Uptown, I believe?
Cab driver: Uptown? You headed into Harlem, man!
James Bond: Well you just stay on the tail of that jukebox and there's an extra twenty in it for you.
Cab driver: Hey man, for twenty bucks I'd take you to a Ku Klux Klan cookout!

View Quote M: I'm sure the over-burdened British taxpayer would be fascinated to know how its Special Ordinances section disperses its funds. In future, Commander, let me suggest a perfectly adequate watchmaker just down the street. [Bond activates the watch magnet, drawing M's teaspoon to it] Good God!
James Bond: You see, sir, by pulling out this button, it turns the watch into a hyper-intensified magnetic field. Powerful enough to even deflect the path of a bullet - at long range, or so Q claims...
M: I feel very tempted to test that theory right now!

View Quote Mr. Big: [to his men] Is this the stupid mother who tailed you uptown?
James Bond: There seems to be some mistake. My name is...
Mr. Big: Names is for tombstones, baby! Y'all take this honky out and WASTE HIM! NOW!

View Quote Rosie Carver: There's a...
James Bond: Oh, a snake. I forgot, I should have told you. You should never go in there without a mongoose.

View Quote Sheriff J.W. Pepper: [to Bond] There's that son of a bitch. I got him. [to Felix] What are you? Some kinda doomsday machine boy? Well WE got a cage strong enough to hold an animal like you here!
Felix Leiter: Captain, would you enlighten the Sheriff please?
State Police Captain: Yes, sir. J.W., let me have a word with ya. [pulls the sheriff aside; quietly] J.W., now this fellow's from London, England. He's a Englishman workin' in cooperation with our boys, a sorta... secret agent.
Sheriff J.W. Pepper: [loudly] Secret AGENT? On WHOSE side?

View Quote State Trooper: That look like a boat stuck in the Sheriff's car there, Eddie?
Eddie: Boy, where you been all your life? That there's one of them new car-boats.
Sheriff J.W. Pepper: By the powers invested in me by this parish, I hereby do commandeer this vehicle and all those persons within. [spits and looks at Eddie] And that means you, smartass.

View Quote Tee-Hee: [on a telescopic wooden bridge to the crocodilian enclosure at the farm that Kananga produces heroin at; the bridge is being wound back by Adam] There are two ways to disable a croc, you know.
James Bond: [stranded on a little island in the enclosure's big lake] I don't suppose you'd care to tell me what they are.
Tee-Hee: One way is to take a pencil and jam it into the pressure hole behind his eye.
James Bond: And the other?
Tee-Hee: Oh, the other way is twice as simple. [gets off the now wound-back bridge and hands the metal feeding tray to Adam as he shuts the gate] You just put your hand in his mouth [slides the gate's locking bolt into position] and pull his teeth out. [starts laughing loudly as he, Adam and the other two henchmen walk away to the laboratory]

View Quote [after Kananga has been exploded by the compressed air pellet]
Solitaire: Where's Kananga?
James Bond: He always did have an over-inflated opinion of himself.

View Quote [Bond and Solitaire are about to be lowered into Kananga's shark pool]
Kananga: Whisper....laughs....the gate!!
[Whisper opens the gate to allow the sharks into the pool, but too quickly for Kananga's liking]
Kananga: No, slowly Whisper, slowly..slowly. Let our diners assemble!

View Quote [Bond has just explained the first two Lover's Lessons to Solitaire]
Solitaire: Is there time before we leave, for Lesson number 3?
James Bond: [undressing] Of course. There's no sense going out half-****ed.

View Quote [Looking at a funeral procession, led by a marching brass band]
MI6 Agent Hamilton: Whose funeral is it?
Bystander: Yours! [Stabs him. The six pallbearers carrying the coffin break from the procession, stop over Hamilton's corpse and lower the coffin over the body. When they lift it up, the body has disappeared, into the coffin. They rejoin the procession, at which point the tune becomes lively and the crowd erupts into dancing.]

View Quote James Bond: I'm not in the habit of giving answers to... lackeys.
Mr. Big: You damn lucky you got an ear left to hear the question with!