Major Payne quotes

View Quote Know this; Killing is my business, ladies, and busi. Ness. Is. GOOD!

View Quote [After being discharged from the Marines] It's been two whole weeks since I killed me a man. And already I'm startin' to get the itch. Problem is I got nothin' to scratch. God, I'm hungry. Hungry for action, hungry for blood. Hell, I'm just plain ol' hungry. Feel like I'm gettin' weaker, while Charlie's gettin' stronger in the jungle. Gotta maintain discipline; gotta keep up my strength! 'Cause the hard reality is, I gotta get a job.

View Quote I have been given eight weeks to transform you motley collection of pukes into a well-disciplined military outfit! From this day forward, your sorry asses belong to ME! You will not eat, sleep, drink, blow your nose, or even dig in your butt without my say-so

View Quote From now on, my little group of scrotum sacks, you will walk like me, talk like me, eat like me, and until you win those games, you will be BALD like me.

View Quote Know this about me, gentlemen! War has made me very paranoid! and when a man gets to eyeballing me, it makes my Agent Orange act up; and I get the urge to kill. Do not aggravate my condition!

View Quote You'll get no sympathy from me! You want sympathy, look in the dictionary between shit, and syphilis! Thats where you'll find my sympathy!

View Quote ONE..don't you feel dumb. TWO..look at you! THREE..don't you ever make jokes about me behind my back or else I'll stomp you in the ground!

View Quote You're still a shit sandwich... you're just not a soggy one. I will no longer refer to you as turds. From this day forward, you will be called maggots!

View Quote [To Emily about being married] Negative. I figure if the marines wanted me to have a wife, they'd of issued me one.

View Quote [To the squad, while watching them all run wearing dresses] I tell you, ladies; you're the prettiest unit ever under my command! Gonna have to change my name to Pimp-Daddy Payne! A-hee hee hee!

View Quote [While confronting a blind kid with his dog] You know there ain't no pets allowed on this here premises, Mr. Ace Ventura.

View Quote Hey Corporal. [Payne's adopted son, Tiger steps out in front and faces him] Go tell Mom to get my field knife.

View Quote [To a hulking biker dude, whom the squad hired to muss him up] I heard tell your mother's so fat, she uses planets for billiard balls.

View Quote [Introducing the squad to their new barracks] A squad that lives together, wins together! "Unity", turds; that is the key word in "unit", without the "Y"!

View Quote Know this, pukes: We are going to win the Virginia Military Games this year! You will note my emphasis on win! Whiskey! India! November! GET USED TO HEARING THAT WORD!