Brodie: The usual vault rules apply: Touch not, lest ye be touched.
T.S.: You're such an anal retentive bastard.
Brodie: Hey, I tried to teach you how to handle comics in the sixth grade, but, oh, no. You wanted to play little league instead.
[T.S. notices something on a table]
T.S.: What's that?
Brodie: Like it? I framed it before you got here.
T.S.: Oh my God, Rene dumped you!
Brodie: Hell hath no fear like a woman scorned for Sega.
T.S.: Wow, look at this long list of complaints; no sense of direction, no college ambition, no job prospect--
Brodie: Yeah, and it also says I have no dick, but you'll see that follows the financial aspect which proves once more what women really look for in a guy.
T.S.: Whoa, she calls you callow in here.
Brodie: You say that like it's bad.
T.S.: Well, it means frightened and weak-willed.
Brodie: Really? Shit, that was the only part of the letter that I thought was complimentary.
T.S.: Well, you're lucky, because unlike you, I didn't get a letter with all those obscure adjectives.
Brodie: What are you talking about?
T.S.: Just like you, now I'm in the framing business.
Brodie: Holy shit, Brandi dumped you. Wait a sec. Aren't you two supposed to be going to Florida together?
T.S.: Yeah, she left this morning, but it gets worse; I was going to propose to her.
Brodie: Where?
T.S.: Universal tour.
Brodie: You're kidding! What part?
T.S.: When Jaws popped out of the water.
Brodie: That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
T.S.: Too bad I'm not trying to marry you.
Brodie: Tell me, did you ever fart in front of her?
T.S.: [scoffs] Why do you ask?
Brodie: I never farted in front of Rene. Not once. Last week, I let one slip and today she dumps me.
T.S.: You think that's the reason she dumped you? C'mon, Rene's not the shallow type. You're not insinuating--
Brodie: She was going down on me at the time.
T.S.: Shut up.
Brodie: What? What can I say, I was feeling very relaxed, when I feel relaxed I squirt.
T.S.: If all she did was dump you, you got off light.
Brodie: I can't believe this shit. Why are we sitting here trying to figure out where we went wrong with our significant others?
T.S.: [sarcastically] We just nailed it in your case.
Brodie: No, there is something out there that can help us ease our simultaneous double loss.
T.S.: What? Ritual suicide?
Brodie: No, you idiot, the ****ing mall!
T.S.: I prefer ritual suicide.
Brodie: Oh come on, man, it'll be great. They have these new cookies at the cookie stand. You have to try 'em, they're awesome.
T.S.: You're such an anal retentive bastard.
Brodie: Hey, I tried to teach you how to handle comics in the sixth grade, but, oh, no. You wanted to play little league instead.
[T.S. notices something on a table]
T.S.: What's that?
Brodie: Like it? I framed it before you got here.
T.S.: Oh my God, Rene dumped you!
Brodie: Hell hath no fear like a woman scorned for Sega.
T.S.: Wow, look at this long list of complaints; no sense of direction, no college ambition, no job prospect--
Brodie: Yeah, and it also says I have no dick, but you'll see that follows the financial aspect which proves once more what women really look for in a guy.
T.S.: Whoa, she calls you callow in here.
Brodie: You say that like it's bad.
T.S.: Well, it means frightened and weak-willed.
Brodie: Really? Shit, that was the only part of the letter that I thought was complimentary.
T.S.: Well, you're lucky, because unlike you, I didn't get a letter with all those obscure adjectives.
Brodie: What are you talking about?
T.S.: Just like you, now I'm in the framing business.
Brodie: Holy shit, Brandi dumped you. Wait a sec. Aren't you two supposed to be going to Florida together?
T.S.: Yeah, she left this morning, but it gets worse; I was going to propose to her.
Brodie: Where?
T.S.: Universal tour.
Brodie: You're kidding! What part?
T.S.: When Jaws popped out of the water.
Brodie: That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
T.S.: Too bad I'm not trying to marry you.
Brodie: Tell me, did you ever fart in front of her?
T.S.: [scoffs] Why do you ask?
Brodie: I never farted in front of Rene. Not once. Last week, I let one slip and today she dumps me.
T.S.: You think that's the reason she dumped you? C'mon, Rene's not the shallow type. You're not insinuating--
Brodie: She was going down on me at the time.
T.S.: Shut up.
Brodie: What? What can I say, I was feeling very relaxed, when I feel relaxed I squirt.
T.S.: If all she did was dump you, you got off light.
Brodie: I can't believe this shit. Why are we sitting here trying to figure out where we went wrong with our significant others?
T.S.: [sarcastically] We just nailed it in your case.
Brodie: No, there is something out there that can help us ease our simultaneous double loss.
T.S.: What? Ritual suicide?
Brodie: No, you idiot, the ****ing mall!
T.S.: I prefer ritual suicide.
Brodie: Oh come on, man, it'll be great. They have these new cookies at the cookie stand. You have to try 'em, they're awesome.
Brodie : The usual vault rules apply: Touch not, lest ye be touched.
T.S. : You're such an anal retentive bastard.
Brodie : Hey, I tried to teach you how to handle comics in the sixth grade, but, oh, no. You wanted to play little league instead.
[T.S. notices something on a table]
T.S. : What's that?
Brodie : Like it? I framed it before you got here.
T.S. : Oh my God, Rene dumped you!
Brodie : Hell hath no fear like a woman scorned for Sega.
T.S. : Wow, look at this long list of complaints; no sense of direction, no college ambition, no job prospect--
Brodie : Yeah, and it also says I have no dick, but you'll see that follows the financial aspect which proves once more what women really look for in a guy.
T.S. : Whoa, she calls you callow in here.
Brodie : You say that like it's bad.
T.S. : Well, it means frightened and weak-willed.
Brodie : Really? Shit, that was the only part of the letter that I thought was complimentary.
T.S. : Well, you're lucky, because unlike you, I didn't get a letter with all those obscure adjectives.
Brodie : What are you talking about?
T.S. : Just like you, now I'm in the framing business.
Brodie : Holy shit, Brandi dumped you. Wait a sec. Aren't you two supposed to be going to Florida together?
T.S. : Yeah, she left this morning, but it gets worse; I was going to propose to her.
Brodie : Where?
T.S. : Universal tour.
Brodie : You're kidding! What part?
T.S. : When Jaws popped out of the water.
Brodie : That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
T.S. : Too bad I'm not trying to marry you.
Brodie : Tell me, did you ever fart in front of her?
T.S. : [scoffs] Why do you ask?
Brodie : I never farted in front of Rene. Not once. Last week, I let one slip and today she dumps me.
T.S. : You think that's the reason she dumped you? C'mon, Rene's not the shallow type. You're not insinuating--
Brodie : She was going down on me at the time.
T.S. : Shut up.
Brodie : What? What can I say, I was feeling very relaxed, when I feel relaxed I squirt.
T.S. : If all she did was dump you, you got off light.
Brodie : I can't believe this shit. Why are we sitting here trying to figure out where we went wrong with our significant others?
T.S. : [sarcastically] We just nailed it in your case.
Brodie : No, there is something out there that can help us ease our simultaneous double loss.
T.S. : What? Ritual suicide?
Brodie : No, you idiot, the ****ing mall!
T.S. : I prefer ritual suicide.
Brodie : Oh come on, man, it'll be great. They have these new cookies at the cookie stand. You have to try 'em, they're awesome.
http://www.moviequotedb.com/movies/mallrats/quote_32185.html