Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World quotes

View Quote Capt. Jack Aubrey: (After the crew's rate of fire is not satisfactory enough) Lads, that's not good enough. Remember, we need to fire two broadsides to her one. Do you want to see a guillotine in Piccadilly!?
Crew: No!
Capt. Jack Aubrey: Want to call that raggedy-arse Napoleon your king!?
Crew: No!
Capt. Jack Aubrey: You want your children to sing the "La Marseillaise!?"
Crew: No!
Capt. Jack Aubrey: Mr. Mowett, Mr. Pullings, starboard battery!

View Quote Capt. Jack Aubrey: Well, Stephen … the bird's flightless?
Dr. Stephen Maturin: Yes.
Capt. Jack Aubrey: It's not going anywhere.

View Quote Dr. Stephen Maturin: By comparison, the Surprise is a somewhat aged man-o-war. Am I not correct?
Capt. Jack Aubrey: Would you call me an aged man-o-war, doctor? The Surprise is not old; no one would call her old. She has a bluff bow, lovely lines. She's a fine sea-boat: weatherly, stiff and fast … very fast, if she's well handled. No, she's not old; she's in her prime.
Sailing Master John Allen: Well, we can patch up the main and mizzen, the foresail's too far gone, I'm afraid, so we'll bend our spare.
Lt. Thomas Pullings: Mr. Lamb is confident, with basic repairs we can get home as we are--
Capt. Jack Aubrey: We're not going home.
[Everyone in the room freezes in awkward silence]
Sailing Master John Allen: But, to refit, we need a port, and the Acheron may be still be looking for us.
Capt. Jack Aubrey: We can refit at sea. Here. We're at shoals. As you said, Mr. Allen, she is taking the war to the south seas, and we are supposed to stop her.
Sailing Master John Allen: But, Sir, with respect, she's a vastly heavier ship. She's out of our class. She could be halfway to Cape Horn by the time we're repaired and under way.
Capt. Jack Aubrey: Well, then, there's not a moment to lose.

View Quote Dr. Stephen Maturin: Well, Mr. Blakeney, it would appear that you have the makings of a naturalist.
Midshipman Blakeney: Well, sir, perhaps I could combine them to be a sort of … fighting naturalist … like you, sir.
Dr. Stephen Maturin: They don't combine too well, I find.

View Quote Midshipman Blakeney: Excuse me, Sir?
Capt. Jack Aubrey: Remove your hat, Blakeney. We're whalers here.
Midshipman Blakeney: [removes his hat] May I speak with you, Sir?
Capt. Jack Aubrey: Yes, yes.
Midshipman Blakeney: Mr. Calamy says I'm not in the boarding party, I want to say...
Capt. Jack Aubrey: I know what you want to say. My answer is no. [Blakeney lowers his head in disappointment] You'll lead your gun crew and then when we board, you'll take command of the ship from here on the quarterdeck. Do I make myself clear?
Midshipman Blakeney: Take command of the ship? Thank you, Sir.

View Quote Midshipman Blakeney: Is it true about how they put the last stitch through your nose?
Midshipman Calamy: What do you mean?
Midshipman Blakeney: Old Joe told me that when you die, they stitch you up in your hammock with the last stitch through your nose, just to make sure you're not asleep. Not through the nose, you'll tell them?
Midshipman Calamy: (nods)

View Quote [Capt. Aubrey is briefing his officers]
Capt. Jack Aubrey: Right! From now on, no sirs, no salutes, no ayes, no whistles, no bells.
Officers: [as one man] Aye, sir.

View Quote [The crew is watching Dr. Maturin perform brain surgery on the ship's deck]
Able Seaman Slade: Is them his brains, sir?
Dr. Stephen Maturin: No, that's just dried blood.
[The crew grumbles in disappointment]
Dr. Stephen Maturin: [after wiping away the dried blood] Those are his brains.
[The crew "Ohhs" in wonder]

View Quote [Toasting]
Capt. Jack Aubrey: To wives and sweethearts.
Officers: To wives and sweethearts.
Capt. Jack Aubrey: May they never meet.

View Quote [After amputating Blakeney's arm] I've never seen a braver patient.

View Quote [Is drunk and is insulting Hollom by bringing the "Jonah theory" out into the open] It's like Killick says. Mornin' o' the battle, 'e doesn't 'ave the guts to beat to quarters. Then 'is entire gun crew's killed, 'cept for 'im. Momen' 'e goes up the mizzen, Will falls. And whose watch was it when we lost our wind?

View Quote [Quoting Alexander Pope] He who would pun would pick a pocket, sir.

View Quote Do you not know that in the service … one must always choose the lesser of two weevils?

View Quote Down! All hands down!

View Quote For England, for home, and for the prize!