Max Keeble's Big Move quotes

View Quote 6 Year Old Troy: McGoogles ate Max's daddy! Ahh!

View Quote Dobbs: [to Max when they are about to bully him] You know how doctors say, "This isn't gonna hurt a bit"? Well, I'm not a doctor, and neither is McGinty here.
Troy McGinty: He's right. [looks straight to Max closely] I'm not a doctor.
Dobbs: [Shaking his hands like he's rapping] Yeeah!

View Quote Dobbs: Keeble! Caught your act at the assembly. Looks like you can use some help with managing your portfolio.
[he takes Max's money]
Max: Hey, that's my lunch money!
Dobbs: And you have it all in cash. Kid, let me hold this for a while and I'll set you up with a nice mutual fund.
Mrs. Talia: What's going on here?
Megan: He's taking Max's lunch money!
Mrs. Talia: Is this true, Mr. Dobbs?
Dobbs: No. I'm just spreading some investment wisdom. Speaking of which, how did Biomorph Systems work out for you?
Mrs. Talia: Best money I ever spent. By the way, what do you think of Handspring?
Dobbs: Handspring? It's moving today. I'd say buy.

View Quote Dobbs: Keeble! Caught your act in the assembly! Looks like you could use some help with managing your portfolio.
Max: Hey, that's my lunch money!
Dobbs: And you have it all in cash. Kid, let me hold this for a while and I'll set you up with a nice mutual fund.

View Quote Entire Class: [after Troy shows who his latest victim will be] Freak with Robe?
Robe: [From behind glass] Help! Help! Let me out! let me out!
Max: [Lets Robe out of the barrier] Now, he's a little claustrophobic, so he might... [watches Robe throw up] Hurl!
Robe: What a waste of a perfectly good chili omelet...
[continues throwing up]

View Quote Evil Ice Cream Man: [pulls in front of his bike] We meet again paperboy.
[laughs]
Max: [narrating] Okay, Evil Ice Cream man, me - You're wondering why, right?
[Max throws a paper at the Evil Ice Cream Man and pedals off with the Evil Ice Cream Man speeding behind him]
Max: Well, I found a ****roach in my snowcone, my Mom called the Health department and he got nailed. He's been trying to nail me ever since.
Evil Ice Cream Man: [as a policeman on a motorcycle follows him] Drat, the Fuzz! This isn't over, paperboy!
[Cop walks up]
Evil Ice Cream Man: Hello officer... Snow doodle?

View Quote Max: [leaves class after insulting his teacher he passes Jenna and her friend the hallway] Well, hello, sweetheart. [Jenna and her friend turn and Jenna smiles at Max]

View Quote Max: [talking to Jindraike with voiceover effect and pretending to do kung fu] I do not fear your dark powers, bald one.

View Quote Max: Do you mind if I hang here for a while, because there's some people after me. I did some stuff. Yeah, you probably... Yeah I'm really sorry about the cafeteria. But Jindraike has no right to do what he's doing, and now my friends are gonna get whaled on because of me, and I can't do anything about it.
Janitor: Any kid can make a mess. Takes a man to clean it up.
[leaves, Max sits alone in the janitor's office]
Max: [narrating] It took a man with a plunger to make me realize that I had to do something. I thought I'd stood up to the bullies, but all I'd really done was hit and run. That's not courage. That's ex-courage.

View Quote Principal Jindraike: [on loud speaker] Attention, students!
[students laugh]
Principal Jindraike: Because of yesterday's crimes against the school, instigated by your former classmate Max Keeble, the following extracurricular activities are now suspended: art, music, P.E... fun! Suspended, discontinued, defunct!
Girl at Class: Great. Your boyfriend Max Keeble just got us hosed.
Jenna: He's just my paperboy. I never really liked him.
Principal Jindraike: [teachers laugh, then Jindraike turns around and sees the fake Max Keeble with a peace sign] Keeble!

View Quote Principal Jindraike: Stop smiling! This isn't a happy place.

View Quote Principal Jindraike: You may be under the impression that I encourage horseplay and malarkey. I don't encourage it. I ex-courage it.
Max: Ex-courage?
Principal Jindraike: It means the opposite of encourage. Look it up.

View Quote Principal Jindrake: So the second teacher says, "I agree. That's why they call it a lounge." Ha. Well, here we are in the Curtis Junior High library.
Superintendent Knebworth: Hmm. Smallish.
Principal Jindrake: Yes, but we're biggish on books... especially sports books. In fact, the one we're waiting for is Crazy Legs: The Bobby Knebworth Story.

View Quote Principal Jindrake: What is the meaning of this?
Max: Hey, I didn't do that.
Principal Jindrake: So you want to save the filthy little beasts, eh? Perhaps you want me to give the animals my car. Do you want me to give my car to the smelly goat?
Max: Goats don't drive, sir.
Principal Jindrake: I don't care what you want me to do. The smelly goat will never get my car. Ever.
Max: The animals have nowhere to go. Some creep's closing down the shelter.
Principal Jindrake: I'm closing down the shelter, silly boy.
Max: What?
Principal Jindrake: All I need now is the right bulldozer. I'm thinking big and yellow. Where did you think I was going to build Knebworth stadium? In your house? [sarcastically] Ha, ha. Your house. That's rich. There wouldn't be room.
Max: Whoa.

View Quote School Nurse: Now can you tell me what came between McGoogles and your fears? Is it something from your past or somebody?
Dobbs: [shouting] Keeble!
Principal Jindraike: Keeble.
Troy McGinty: ...Keeble.