Mean Machine quotes

View Quote Sykes: Well get it sorted, 'cause this lad has a bad habit of turning cash flow problems into blood flow problems.

View Quote Sykes: What money?
Danny Meehan: You're a betting man. We'll make a deal. Let your lads play. Win or lose, you call the result. Bet accordingly.
Sykes: Back to your fixing the match routine, right? Now listen, it's like this - I'd never take a bet against England, and I wouldn't bet the screws against the cons. Capisce?
Danny Meehan: Then we can play to win. Would you think about it?
Sykes: Yes, I'll think about it. But right now, I'm thinking you're polluting my air. Now go away.

View Quote Sykes:[To Meehan] So my arse is on the line. And by my arse, I mean your arse.

View Quote Trojan: All right, Raj. You be black.[in a game of chess]
Raj: No, I'll be white.
Trojan: Just chill. You got a black nose.
Raj: You saying I'm black? That makes me the first Iranian from Babylon.

View Quote [After learning Mr Ratchett has been kicked twice in the same area]
Bob Carter: Just goes to show lightning can strike twice.
Bob Likely: Abso-****ing-lutely, Bob.

View Quote [Danny Meehan is about to take a free kick in front of a wall - the ball is kicked straight to Mr Ratchett's private part]
Bob Likely: Ooh! Right in his carrots and onions!
Bob Carter: No nookie for Mr Ratchett.
Bob Likely: No nookie for Mrs Ratchett neither.

View Quote [Prison guard to Secretary]:Hayter: I wouldn't get too close, Miss.
[Secretary to Danny]
Tracey: Why? You're not dangerous. Are you, Mr footballer?
[Meehan to Secretary]
Danny Meehan: Only if you've got the ball, Miss.

View Quote [Referring to a clipboard Massive is holding]
Danny Meehan: What's that?
Massive: I'm your manager.
Danny Meehan: Since when?
Trojan: Look, don't bother giving me no orders, yeah?
Massive: Look, stop bitching, bitch.

View Quote [Watching The Monk practise Karate]
Doc: Apparently he killed 23 men with his bare hands.
Danny Meehan: Maybe I should take up Karate.
Doc: That was before he took up Karate.

View Quote [When asked to be breathalised by the cops] No need, officer. I'm absolutely drunk.

View Quote I just wanna keep my head down, do my twelve months and I'm going home.

View Quote I'm in here for drunken assault.

View Quote It's ironic

View Quote It's called sunlight, Meehan. Think of it as a privilege which can be withdrawn.

View Quote It's funny, but when you're in that football world, you just don't realise what it means to people. You only find out how disappointed they are, when you let them down. I was 16 when I signed pro forms. Thought I was the business. Didn't take long for standards to start slipping. Cars, booze, bad tips for slow horses... You think you can handle it, then bang, very soon it's handling you. Before I was picking up trophies, I was 425 grand down to men nasty enough... well, even they would have put the wind up Mr Sykes. But they did give me two choices - a wheelchair for life, or a deliberate penalty against the Germans. It's not as if I've prospered. Look where I've ended up.