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Dani: [on the phone] It’s just in his tone – you can hear it. It’s like he’s trying to work up the nerve to say something and I just keep staving it off.
Girlfriend: So don’t stave him off. Be direct! Confront him!
Dani: Well – what if I scared him? I’m always roping him into my family crap...I’m always leaning on him! I tell him everything! I even called him today in tears because my sister sent me another scary email. What if I’m scaring him off?
Girlfriend: Oh – how do you rope him in?That’s what he’s there for! What did your sister write?
Dani: Oh – just some ominous bullshit! She does it all the time! It’s torture, and I’ve been completely leaning on him for support! What if I overwhelmed him and now he thinks I have too much baggage?
Girlfriend: Well, if that’s the case, then good riddance! Right?
Dani: No! Not if I went too far! What if I leaned too heavily?
Girlfriend: You didn’t! He should be there when you need him.
Dani: But what if I need him too often? If it becomes a chore?
Girlfriend: Then he's not the right guy. Because it shouldn't ever be a chore. Would it be a chore if he leaned on you?
Dani: But he never asks for anything from me! I've never even seen him cry! So I'm the only one leaning!
Girlfriend: Or the only one opening up! The only one making yourself vulnerable. That's intimacy.


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