Monsters University quotes

View Quote Brock: Let’s begin the first competition! The Toxicity Challenge!
Claire: Human children are toxic! [pointing to some human toys] ...And everything they touch is toxic.
Brock: [as Claire uses a metal claw, reaching into a crate and pulling out a urchin] We don't have any human toys, but thanks to MU biology department, we found a close second - the Stinging Glow Urchin! Trust me when I say you are not gonna want to touch this bad boy.
Art: I wanna touch it.
Claire: And you certainly don’t want to touch any of its friends. [the members look behind them and see several Stinging Glow Urchins scattered on the ground]
Art: Yeah, I wanna touch ‘em.
Brock: This here is the starting line. The light at the end of the tunnel is the finish line.
Claire: And whoever comes in last is eliminated from the games.
Squishy: Mike?
Mike: [startled] Ah! What is it?
Squishy: Does that mean if we lose we’re out?
Mike: Don’t worry, Smoothie... (Isn't it?)
Squishy: [corrects him] Squishy.
Mike: (Right.) Squishy, we’re not gonna lose, because we have everything we need to win right... here. [points to his chest]
Squishy: [smiling] Heart.
Mike: No, me! I’m gonna win the race for us.
Sulley: [pushes him out of the way] Alright, alright, that’s very cute but move, move, move. I’m gonna win this.
Mike: It’s an obstacle course, what are you gonna do? Roar at it?
Sulley: I can get through faster than you, little guy.

View Quote Chet: Slow down, Squirt. This party is scare students only.
Johnny: Oh, I'm sorry, killer, but you might wanna hang out with someone little more of your speed. They look fun! [Cut on Oozma Kappa members holding a stand]
Don: Oh, hey there! Wanna join Oozma Kappa?
Squishy: We have cake! [a huge monster passes by and swallows the cake whole. Not a second later, a balloon deflates and falls on Squishy's head]
Johnny: Go crazy. [leaves with ROR and Sulley]
Mike: [stunned] Is that a joke?
Johnny: [sighs, annoyed] Sulley, talk to your friend.
Sulley: [to Johnny] Well, he’s not really my friend, but sure. [to Mike] You heard him, this is a party for scare students.
Mike: I am a scare student.
Sulley: I mean, for scare students who actually, you know, have a chance.
Chet: Ah, snap! [the ROR brothers start laughing]
Mike: [narrows his eye] My chances are just as good as yours.
Sulley: You’re not even in the same league with me.
Mike: Just wait, hotshot. I’m gonna scare circles around you this year.

View Quote Dean Hardscrabble: Tomorrow, each of you must prove that you are undeniably scary, and I know, for a fact... that one of you is not.
Sulley: No. He works harder than anyone.
Dean: Do you think he's scary?
Sulley: He's the heart and soul of the team!
Hardscrabble: Do you think he's scary?

View Quote Dean: You did what?!
Sulley: My team had nothing to do with it, it was all me. I cheated. (You were right. Mike's not scary.)
Dean: I expect you off campus by tomorrow.
Sulley: Yes, ma'am.
Dean: You're a disgrace to this University... and your family name.

View Quote Don: And here's what you've been waiting for, fellas. You very own Oozma Kappa bedroom.
Sulley: Ah, great! We're sharing this room?
Don: We'll let you guys get settled. Anything you need, you just give a big holler-rooney.
Sulley: Okay, thanks, buddy. [quickly shuts the door in Don's face and glares at Mike] Are you kidding me?
Mike: Look, they don't need to be good. I'm gonna carry the whole team.
Sulley: Really? And who's gonna carry you?
Mike: Hey, you wanna go back to can design? You know where the door is.
[the lights suddenly go out]
Sulley: [flips the switch several times] Great.

View Quote Mike: Don’t worry. Nobody reads the school paper.
Art: Yeah, but I’m pretty sure they read the quad.

View Quote Mike: Guys, what are you doing?
Terry: They said don’t let her catch you!
Terri: They didn’t say how!

View Quote Mike: What are you doing in my room?!
Sulley: Your room? This is my... [realizes he's in Mike and Randall's room] This is not my room. Archie! Come here, boy! [imitates a pig]
Mike: Archie?
Sulley: Archie the Scare Pig. He's Fear Tech's mascot.
Mike: What's it doing here?
Sulley: [chuckles] I stole it. Gonna give it to the RORs.
Mike: The what?
Sulley: "'Roar Omega Roar", the top fraternity on campus, the only accept the highly elite? Alright, I'll lift the bed, you grab the pig.
Mike: What? No!
Sulley: 1, 2, 3! [shoves Mike under his bed]

View Quote Mike: [mumbling while asleep] I know. You’re a princess, and I’m just a stable boy. [When the alarm clock suddenly goes off, realizing it is Sulley’s hand, Mike responds with disgust, causing Sulley to fall out of his bed]
Sulley: [to himself; shocked] MOM?! [to Mike] What are you doing?
Mike: Your grubby paw was in my bed!
Sulley: [stammering] Were you kissing my hand?
Mike: [laughs] No, and what about you with all your shedding?
Sulley: I don’t shed.
Mike: Really? [punches the mattress of Sulley’s bed lightly, causing his fur to drop all over him]

View Quote Randall: Hey there, I'm your roommate! Name's Randy Boggs, Scaring major!
Mike: [laughs] Mike Wazowski, Scaring major.
Randy: I can tell we're gonna be best chums, Mike. Take whatever bed you want, I wanted you to have first dibs. [a monster student bumps into him, making him yelp and turn completely invisible except for the glasses]
Mike: [gasps] You just disappeared.
Randy: [turns visible again] Sorry. If I do that in scaring class, I'll be a joke.
Mike: No, it's totally great, you gotta use it.
Randy: Really?
Mike: Yeah, but lose the glasses, they give it away. [heads into his room]
[Randy removes his glasses, and his eyes squint to the shape we all know and grunts approvingly]

View Quote Robot Child 2: [screams]
Johnny: [after Randy loses to Sulley] Hearts?!
Chet: [sarcastically] Way to go, Boggs!
Randy: [looks at Sulley menacingly] That's the last time I lose to you, Sullivan.

View Quote Squishy: Mom, go!
Sherri: Seatbelts!
[Everyone buckles their seatbelts]
Squishy: Okay, go!
Sherri: Does anyone want gum?
Squishy: [yelling] JUST DRIVE!

View Quote Squishy: [takes a picture of Mike and Sulley] First morning in the house!
Art: That’s going in the album!

View Quote Sulley: Hey, don’t worry about Hardscrabble. Don't worry about anyone else. Just go out there, and show 'em what Mike Wazowski can do.
Mike: [smiles] Thanks.

View Quote Sulley: James P. Sullivan.
Mike: Mike Wazowski.