Eddie quotes
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Eddie: Tempting but I don't get out of bed for less than half a million dollars.
Eddie: This broad is not your wife, she's the enemy.
John Smith: She tried to kill me.
Eddie: They all try to kill you. Slowly, painfully, cripplingly, and then wham. They hurt you. How you going to handle it?
John Smith: [grabs a MP5] I'm going to borrow this.
Eddie: I like where your head's at, man.
Eddie: Did you get any other details on her besides her weight class?
John Smith: [mumbles while chewing food] Laptop
Eddie: I'm sorry? You're in the whole zone right now- I'm having a hard time talkin' to ya.
John Smith: [swallows and says louder] Laptop!
Eddie: OK. Laptop.
Eddie: [at the diner] Well this shouldn't be that difficult, I mean how many chicks are hitters out there? Ya know what I mean?
Eddie's Waitress: You guys want any dessert?
Eddie: What do ya have honey?
Eddie's Waitress: Ice cream...
Eddie: Ice cream?! That sounds delicious, what flavors d'ya have?
Eddie's Waitress: Chocolate and Vanilla...
Eddie: I don't like either of those, separately, but maybe mixed together, that could be... a nice lil dish, you know what I mean? And not just a little pink spoon, a like the whole sundae...
[winks to the waitress]
Eddie's Waitress: Could be arranged...
[walks off]
Eddie: Perfect...
[to John]
Eddie: Could be arranged, d'ya hear that? Like to have her kick my ass... d'ya know what I mean?
Eddie's Mom: Eddie?
Eddie: [Startled. ****s shotgun and shouts] Mom! We are on high alert here. I almost killed you right then! You do not even realize!
Eddie's Mom: [pause] Never mind.
Eddie: I live with my mom because I choose to. She's the only woman I've ever trusted.
Eddie: This broad is not your wife, she's the enemy.
John Smith: She tried to kill me.
Eddie: They all try to kill you. Slowly, painfully, cripplingly, and then wham. They hurt you. How you going to handle it?
John Smith: [grabs a MP5] I'm going to borrow this.
Eddie: I like where your head's at, man.
Eddie: Did you get any other details on her besides her weight class?
John Smith: [mumbles while chewing food] Laptop
Eddie: I'm sorry? You're in the whole zone right now- I'm having a hard time talkin' to ya.
John Smith: [swallows and says louder] Laptop!
Eddie: OK. Laptop.
Eddie: [at the diner] Well this shouldn't be that difficult, I mean how many chicks are hitters out there? Ya know what I mean?
Eddie's Waitress: You guys want any dessert?
Eddie: What do ya have honey?
Eddie's Waitress: Ice cream...
Eddie: Ice cream?! That sounds delicious, what flavors d'ya have?
Eddie's Waitress: Chocolate and Vanilla...
Eddie: I don't like either of those, separately, but maybe mixed together, that could be... a nice lil dish, you know what I mean? And not just a little pink spoon, a like the whole sundae...
[winks to the waitress]
Eddie's Waitress: Could be arranged...
[walks off]
Eddie: Perfect...
[to John]
Eddie: Could be arranged, d'ya hear that? Like to have her kick my ass... d'ya know what I mean?
Eddie's Mom: Eddie?
Eddie: [Startled. ****s shotgun and shouts] Mom! We are on high alert here. I almost killed you right then! You do not even realize!
Eddie's Mom: [pause] Never mind.
Eddie: I live with my mom because I choose to. She's the only woman I've ever trusted.