Muppets from Space quotes
21 total quotes
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[first lines]
Gonzo: Hey, wait for me! Hold the boat! I'm coming! Noah! Mr. The Ark! I'm here. Barely made it. For a minute, there. I thought you were leaving without... [Noah stops him] Gee, Mr. Noah, sir, I'm gonna come too.
Noah: What are you, anyway?
Gonzo: Oh, uh... Good question. Now technically speaking, uh, let's say, put me down as a whatever.
Noah: What do you mean? What is your species?
Gonzo: Uh, well, I, I, I... I don't know. I guess there's only one of me.
Noah: [Steps back, then points at gonzo] THEN YOU ARE DOOMED! [he walks inside, closing the door on Gonzo]
Gonzo: Wait. Wait! Oh. Huh?
Noah: [opens the door] Um...
Gonzo: Yes, sir?
Noah: You may need this. [grabs an umbrella to Gonzo, then closing the door on him again]
Gonzo: But, but, but, but... [opens the umbrella, causing to rain] Oh! [screaming in fear] NOOO!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!! No! No! No! I don't wannna be alone! NO!! [dissolve to reality]
Gonzo: [muttering] No, no, no, no, no, I don’t want to be alone. No, no. [snaps out of his dream, screams] NOOO!!!! [accidentally knocks his best friend Rizzo the Rat out of the hammock, screaming out the window] I DON'T WANNA BE ALONE!!!!!!
Rizzo: [off-screen] You're not alone.
Gonzo: [notices rizzo] Who-Who Said That?
Rizzo: [As The Scene Shows Gonzo Looking Back And Forth Until He Notices The Window, Off-Screen] Gee. I Don't Know. Maybe It's The Rat Who's HANGING OUT OF THE WINDOW!!!!!!!!!
Gonzo: Hey, wait for me! Hold the boat! I'm coming! Noah! Mr. The Ark! I'm here. Barely made it. For a minute, there. I thought you were leaving without... [Noah stops him] Gee, Mr. Noah, sir, I'm gonna come too.
Noah: What are you, anyway?
Gonzo: Oh, uh... Good question. Now technically speaking, uh, let's say, put me down as a whatever.
Noah: What do you mean? What is your species?
Gonzo: Uh, well, I, I, I... I don't know. I guess there's only one of me.
Noah: [Steps back, then points at gonzo] THEN YOU ARE DOOMED! [he walks inside, closing the door on Gonzo]
Gonzo: Wait. Wait! Oh. Huh?
Noah: [opens the door] Um...
Gonzo: Yes, sir?
Noah: You may need this. [grabs an umbrella to Gonzo, then closing the door on him again]
Gonzo: But, but, but, but... [opens the umbrella, causing to rain] Oh! [screaming in fear] NOOO!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!! No! No! No! I don't wannna be alone! NO!! [dissolve to reality]
Gonzo: [muttering] No, no, no, no, no, I don’t want to be alone. No, no. [snaps out of his dream, screams] NOOO!!!! [accidentally knocks his best friend Rizzo the Rat out of the hammock, screaming out the window] I DON'T WANNA BE ALONE!!!!!!
Rizzo: [off-screen] You're not alone.
Gonzo: [notices rizzo] Who-Who Said That?
Rizzo: [As The Scene Shows Gonzo Looking Back And Forth Until He Notices The Window, Off-Screen] Gee. I Don't Know. Maybe It's The Rat Who's HANGING OUT OF THE WINDOW!!!!!!!!!
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[Gonzo appears on TV]
Clifford: You better get down there, Kerm.
Kermit: Relax, no one is going anywhere, okay?
Gonzo: [on TV] You see, I was contacted through my breakfast cereal, and it was confirmed by the Cosmic Fish that I am from outer space.
Rizzo: [to Kermit] So, you wanna go now, or wait for the commercial?
Kermit: ...Now. [gets off the couch]
Clifford: You better get down there, Kerm.
Kermit: Relax, no one is going anywhere, okay?
Gonzo: [on TV] You see, I was contacted through my breakfast cereal, and it was confirmed by the Cosmic Fish that I am from outer space.
Rizzo: [to Kermit] So, you wanna go now, or wait for the commercial?
Kermit: ...Now. [gets off the couch]
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[last lines]
Gonzo: What a great day! That was probably the best day of my whole life! [pause] But, there's one' thing I don't understand.
Kermit: What's that, Gonzo?
Gonzo: Why did they ask me to build a Jacuzzi?
[Pepe chuckles]
Gonzo: What a great day! That was probably the best day of my whole life! [pause] But, there's one' thing I don't understand.
Kermit: What's that, Gonzo?
Gonzo: Why did they ask me to build a Jacuzzi?
[Pepe chuckles]
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[Later, on the set of UFO Mania Live]
Agent Barker: [tied up] ...That's all I know!
Miss Piggy: Okay, okay, so, let me get this straight now: This government agency, C.O.V.N.E.T., has abducted Gonzo, and taken him to its top-secret facility?
Agent Barker: Yes, Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy: Well, thank you, darling. You've been most helpful. [excited] At last! [knocks over Barker] A real story! Intrigue, danger, new outfits, and it's mine, mine, mine! All mine! [runs off, then comes back, looking directly into the camera] Oh, come on, please, you think Ted Koppel never gets excited?
Agent Barker: [tied up] ...That's all I know!
Miss Piggy: Okay, okay, so, let me get this straight now: This government agency, C.O.V.N.E.T., has abducted Gonzo, and taken him to its top-secret facility?
Agent Barker: Yes, Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy: Well, thank you, darling. You've been most helpful. [excited] At last! [knocks over Barker] A real story! Intrigue, danger, new outfits, and it's mine, mine, mine! All mine! [runs off, then comes back, looking directly into the camera] Oh, come on, please, you think Ted Koppel never gets excited?
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[Miss Piggy runs past Statler and Waldorf]
Statler: Is breakfast over?
Waldorf: No, why?
Statler: Because I think the bacon just ran out.
Pepe: [comes to the table] The raspberry flap overs will be out in a moment.
Robin: Hey, Uncle Kermit, what will you do now that you're on vacation?
Kermit: Well, Robin, once I get those house painters started, l'm gonna kick back and relax.
Pepe: Kermit? When will you fix the oven, okay?
Kermit: [confused] What's wrong with the oven? [An explosion is heard in the kitchen. Everyone on the table react to that sound.]
Pepe: That.
Swedish Chef: Yurski burski popovers kaboofed!
Kermit: Yeah... I'll put it on the top of my list...
Pepe: There is a menu correction, okay? We will now be serving bologna sandwiches. [everyone makes disappointed sounds. Swedish Chef says something to Pepe] But no bread. [Everyone makes a disgusted noise and leaves the table]
Clifford: I'm already gone.
[Kermit sees Gonzo coming downstairs looking dejected]
Kermit: Hey, Gonzo, aren't you performing at that Bar Mitzvah today?
Gonzo: Nah. Electric Mayhem's covering for me.
Kermit: [concerned] But, Gonzo, you never miss the chance to get shot out of a cannon. Something wrong?
Gonzo: No. [beat] It's just that I'm sick and tired of being a one-of-a-kind freak, that's all.
Kermit: Gonzo, you are 'not a one-of-a-kind freak! You're a... [falters]
Gonzo: [annoyed] A whatever?
Kermit: Well... yeah!
Gonzo: You see?! See what I mean? I don't even know where I came from, or who I am!
Clifford: Yo, Kerm.
Kermit: Hmm?
Clifford: You weren't expecting some house painters, were you?
Kermit: Yeah, why?
Clifford: They're just driving away.
Kermit: What?!
Clifford: Animal bit one of them!
Kermit: Oh no! [The car engine of the house painters truck starts] Wait, guys! Don't let them go! [turns to Gonzo] You know what I think you are, Gonzo?
Gonzo: What?
Kermit: Distinct. [turns to run to the door to try and stop the painters] Wait, guys! He didn't mean it! He's just a musician!
Animal: Musician! Musician! Musician! [Gonzo looks over at photos of the Muppets with their respective family members, before coming to photo of himself, alone]
Gonzo: [depressed] Distinct, huh? More like extinct... [pours the alphabet cereal in the bowl, but spills a little bit on the table] Oops. [looks at the letters spinning around, then making the words, saying, "Watch The Sky"] "Watch the sky"? Hey! Hey! Rizzo, come here. I think my Kap'n Alphabet is sending me a message.
Rizzo: [While holding a plate with bologna] I know what you mean. I had some guacamole and it's still taking to me.
Gonzo: No. No. Really. Look. Look. I'm not kidding. [looking at the letter cereals] It was there just a second ago. I swear, Rizzo. It said, "Watch the sky."
Rizzo: Are you sure it didn't say "You need help?"
Gonzo: But, but...
Rizzo: Maybe you and your cereal would like to be alone. [takes the plate of ] Oh, hey! ♪ My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R...♪
Gonzo: [he pours the cereal the bowl with letters, then grabbing a telescope] Cool. Huh? [he looks at the letters, then making the words, saying, "R U There"] "Are you there?" [calling out] RIZZOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Statler: Is breakfast over?
Waldorf: No, why?
Statler: Because I think the bacon just ran out.
Pepe: [comes to the table] The raspberry flap overs will be out in a moment.
Robin: Hey, Uncle Kermit, what will you do now that you're on vacation?
Kermit: Well, Robin, once I get those house painters started, l'm gonna kick back and relax.
Pepe: Kermit? When will you fix the oven, okay?
Kermit: [confused] What's wrong with the oven? [An explosion is heard in the kitchen. Everyone on the table react to that sound.]
Pepe: That.
Swedish Chef: Yurski burski popovers kaboofed!
Kermit: Yeah... I'll put it on the top of my list...
Pepe: There is a menu correction, okay? We will now be serving bologna sandwiches. [everyone makes disappointed sounds. Swedish Chef says something to Pepe] But no bread. [Everyone makes a disgusted noise and leaves the table]
Clifford: I'm already gone.
[Kermit sees Gonzo coming downstairs looking dejected]
Kermit: Hey, Gonzo, aren't you performing at that Bar Mitzvah today?
Gonzo: Nah. Electric Mayhem's covering for me.
Kermit: [concerned] But, Gonzo, you never miss the chance to get shot out of a cannon. Something wrong?
Gonzo: No. [beat] It's just that I'm sick and tired of being a one-of-a-kind freak, that's all.
Kermit: Gonzo, you are 'not a one-of-a-kind freak! You're a... [falters]
Gonzo: [annoyed] A whatever?
Kermit: Well... yeah!
Gonzo: You see?! See what I mean? I don't even know where I came from, or who I am!
Clifford: Yo, Kerm.
Kermit: Hmm?
Clifford: You weren't expecting some house painters, were you?
Kermit: Yeah, why?
Clifford: They're just driving away.
Kermit: What?!
Clifford: Animal bit one of them!
Kermit: Oh no! [The car engine of the house painters truck starts] Wait, guys! Don't let them go! [turns to Gonzo] You know what I think you are, Gonzo?
Gonzo: What?
Kermit: Distinct. [turns to run to the door to try and stop the painters] Wait, guys! He didn't mean it! He's just a musician!
Animal: Musician! Musician! Musician! [Gonzo looks over at photos of the Muppets with their respective family members, before coming to photo of himself, alone]
Gonzo: [depressed] Distinct, huh? More like extinct... [pours the alphabet cereal in the bowl, but spills a little bit on the table] Oops. [looks at the letters spinning around, then making the words, saying, "Watch The Sky"] "Watch the sky"? Hey! Hey! Rizzo, come here. I think my Kap'n Alphabet is sending me a message.
Rizzo: [While holding a plate with bologna] I know what you mean. I had some guacamole and it's still taking to me.
Gonzo: No. No. Really. Look. Look. I'm not kidding. [looking at the letter cereals] It was there just a second ago. I swear, Rizzo. It said, "Watch the sky."
Rizzo: Are you sure it didn't say "You need help?"
Gonzo: But, but...
Rizzo: Maybe you and your cereal would like to be alone. [takes the plate of ] Oh, hey! ♪ My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R...♪
Gonzo: [he pours the cereal the bowl with letters, then grabbing a telescope] Cool. Huh? [he looks at the letters, then making the words, saying, "R U There"] "Are you there?" [calling out] RIZZOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
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[Miss Piggy starts broadcasting on UFO Mania live at cape doom]
Miss Piggy: Midnight the lone Alien stands before a naked Sky the moon is tense my hair looks great!.
Shelly Snipes: What?!
Shelly Snipes: I don't believe this!.
Miss Piggy: Oh! Uh, Shelly.
Shelly Snipes: You back stabbing underhanded little coffe pig.
Miss Piggy: What?
Shelly Snipes: This is my show, my story, my microphone [Shelly takes the microphone and the camera man starts filming her instead of Miss Piggy] This is Shelly Snipes reporting please ignore this little sow [Miss Piggy takes back the microphone and the camera man starts filming her again]
Miss Piggy: Disregard this women I don't know what-- [Shelly pulls her ear] AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Hi-yah! [She hits her in the stomach and tackles her]
Both: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Miss Piggy: [She raps her legs around Shellys head] Wah! [She gets up but Shelly grabs her hair and pulls her down] Wah! Yah! [her legs go flying through the air] [Shelly also pounds miss piggy then gets up and spits out a weave from miss piggy until she gets sprayed by her]
Shelly snipes: What am I doing?
Miss Piggy: Um, you are about to give me your job and give everyone here a cup of coffee.
Shelly Snipes: Oh yes of course right away.
Miss Piggy: I love this stuff.
Shelly Snipes: What?!
Shelly Snipes: I don't believe this!.
Miss Piggy: Oh! Uh, Shelly.
Shelly Snipes: You back stabbing underhanded little coffe pig.
Miss Piggy: What?
Shelly Snipes: This is my show, my story, my microphone [Shelly takes the microphone and the camera man starts filming her instead of Miss Piggy] This is Shelly Snipes reporting please ignore this little sow [Miss Piggy takes back the microphone and the camera man starts filming her again]
Miss Piggy: Disregard this women I don't know what-- [Shelly pulls her ear] AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Hi-yah! [She hits her in the stomach and tackles her]
Both: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Miss Piggy: [She raps her legs around Shellys head] Wah! [She gets up but Shelly grabs her hair and pulls her down] Wah! Yah! [her legs go flying through the air] [Shelly also pounds miss piggy then gets up and spits out a weave from miss piggy until she gets sprayed by her]
Shelly snipes: What am I doing?
Miss Piggy: Um, you are about to give me your job and give everyone here a cup of coffee.
Shelly Snipes: Oh yes of course right away.
Miss Piggy: I love this stuff.