My Big Fat Greek Wedding quotes

View Quote Ian: What do you do for Christmas with your family?
Toula: Uh, my mom makes roast lamb.
Ian: Mmm... with mint jelly?
Toula: No.
[pause]
Ian: And...?
Toula: And...
[pause]
Toula: I'm Greek, right?
Ian: Right...?
Toula: So, what happens is my dad and uncles, they fight over who gets to eat the lamb brain. And then my aunt Voula forks the eyeball and chases me around with it, try to get me to eat it, 'cause it's gonna make me smart. So, you have two cousins, I have 27 first cousins. Just 27 first cousins alone! And my whole family is big and loud. And everybody is in each other's lives and business. All the time! Like, you never just have a minute alone, just to think, 'Cause we're always together, just eating, eating, eating! The only other people we know are Greeks, 'cause Greeks marry Greeks to breed more Greeks, to be loud breeding Greek eaters.
Ian: Wow.

View Quote Maria: Ian, are you hungry?
Ian: Uh no, I already ate.
Maria: Okay, I make you something.

View Quote Maria: Toula, on my wedding night, my mother, she said to me, "Greek women, we may be lambs in the kitchen, but we are tigers in the bedroom!"
Toula: Eww. Please let that be the end of your speech.

View Quote Toula: I woke up with this huge zit this morning.
Ian: Where?
Toula: [points to spot on face] There.
Ian: I had a huge zit this morning!
Toula: Really? Where?
Ian: [points to his face] Well, it was there, but it's gone now.
Toula: Why?
Ian: I put some Windex on it.

View Quote Toula: Ma, Dad is so stubborn. What he says goes. "Ah, the man is the head of the house!"
Maria: Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.

View Quote [narrating] I had to go to Greek school, where I learned valuable lessons such as: "If Nick has one goat and Maria has nine, how soon will they marry?"

View Quote [narrating] My dad believed in two things: That Greeks should educate non-Greeks about being Greek and every ailment from psoriasis to poison ivy can be cured with Windex.

View Quote [seeing herself in her wedding gown for the first time] I'm a snow beast!

View Quote [to Ian's parents] Now, you are family. Okay. All my life, I had a lump at the back of my neck, right here. Always, a lump. Then I started menopause and the lump got bigger from the "hormonees." It started to grow. So I go to the doctor, and he did the bio... the b... the... the bios... the... b... the "bobopsy." Inside the lump he found teeth and a spinal cord. Yes. Inside the lump was my twin. [Ian's parents are horrified. Voula grabs a drink and toasts.] Hupah!!

View Quote [upon learning Ian is a vegetarian] What do you mean, you don't eat no meat? [the entire room stops, in shock] ... That's okay. I make lamb.

View Quote [Watching Ian dance at the reception] Oh, Taki... he looks Greek.

View Quote I've never seen my sister this happy, Ian. [serious] If you hurt her, I'll kill you and make it look like an accident.

View Quote Nicko! Don't play with the food! When I was your age, we didn't have food!

View Quote Tell me what to say. But don't tell me what to say.

View Quote Toula. Toula! You're engaged! You're engaged-We never think this would happen for you-Never! Never. Taki, didn't we say that..?