Nebraska quotes

View Quote Ross Grant: [in a physical altercation with his cousin] Hey, watch the face, okay? I'm on TV.

View Quote Aunt Betty: Now Kate, we only want what's fair and what's fair is if Woody lends us back some money.
Kate Grant: You can all go **** yourselves!

View Quote Aunt Flo: Martha, where's Bart and Cole?
Aunt Martha: Oh, they're off doing some volunteer work picking up trash off the streets.
Kate Grant: It's community service; for Bart's rape.
Aunt Martha: Sexual assault!
Kate Grant: What's the difference?
Aunt Martha: A huge difference... it's... well... the boys can explain it to you better than I can...

View Quote Kate Grant: [looking at graves] There's Woody's little sister, Rose. She was only nineteen when she was killed in a car wreck near Wausa. What a whore!
David Grant: Mom!
Kate Grant: Nah, I liked Rose, but my God, she was a slut.
David Grant: C'mon...
Kate Grant: I'm just telling you the truth!
David Grant: Where's your family?
Kate Grant: Oh, they're over in the Catholic cemetery. Catholics wouldn't be caught dead around all these damn Lutherans. [approaches another tombstone] Here's Delmer, Woody's cousin, he was a drunk. One time we were wrestling and he felt me up. Grabbed a handful of boob and Woody was right there and didn't have a clue, did ya Woody?

View Quote Kate Grant: That's Ed Pegram singing. [to Woody] Did you know that he was always trying to get in my bloomers?
David Grant: Jesus Mom! Was the whole town trying to seduce you?
Kate Grant: These boys grow up staring at the rear ends of cows and pigs, it's only natural that a real woman will get them chafing their pants.

View Quote Kate Grant: Why do you want meatloaf if it isn't even on the dinner menu?
Woody Grant: 'Cause I like it.
Waitress: What can I get you?
Woody Grant: Do you have any meatloaf?
Waitress: No, that's only part of our lunch specials.
Kate Grant: He'll have the chicken.
Waitress: Fried or grilled?
Woody Grant: Fried.
Kate Grant: He'll have it grilled. I think I'd like the roast beef, but I'm not entirely sure. What do you recommend?
Waitress: Everything's all good ma'am, but I especially like the tilapia.
Kate Grant: Oh, then I'll have the roast beef.
David Grant: I'll have the tilapia.

View Quote Receptionist: [about Woody] Does he have Alzheimer's?
David Grant: No, he just believes what people tell him.
Receptionist: That's too bad.

View Quote Receptionist: [after telling Woody he hasn't won the money] I can give you a free gift. Would you like a hat or a seat cushion?
David Grant: Dad? Do you want a hat or a seat cushion?
Woody Grant: I'll take a hat.

View Quote [lifts her dress and flashes a tombstone] You see this? You could have had all this to yourself, and look what you missed out on.

View Quote [to David] Have a drink with your old man. Be somebody!

View Quote [upon learning Woody has "won" a million dollars] I never knew the son of a bitch even wanted to be a millionaire! He should have thought about that years ago and worked for it!

View Quote I ain't fiddlin' with no cow titties. I'm a city girl!