Never Give a Sucker an Even Break quotes

27 total quotes

Mr. Pangborn
Multiple Characters
The Great Man, W.C. Fields/Uncle Bill

View Quote [about a large Turkish passenger] Do you travel as one person or do you get a party rate of ten?

View Quote [after a waitress pours water in his lap] No extra charge for the cold shower I hope.

View Quote [after falling from a plane, and landing on a mattress] Why didn't I think of that parachute? What a bump!

View Quote [offering a cure for insomnia] Get plenty of sleep. That's what the doctor told me.

View Quote [to a pretty girl] Hi ya tootie-pie. Everything under control? [the girl's boyfriend punches him] All five of 'em hit me at once.

View Quote [to Gloria Jean] Don't you want to live in this beautiful nest, have a personal maid, wear a diaphanous gown, and eat regularly?

View Quote I don't know why I ever come in here - The flies get the best of everything.

View Quote I feel as though somebody stepped on my tongue with muddy feet.

View Quote Lucky we didn't have an accident...We'd never have made it.

View Quote Marvelous. Wonderful. Amazing. The girl has been living on a mountaintop since she was three months old and for no reason at all, suddenly blossoms out with Jump and Jive. Do you actually think I'm a dope? Now don't you answer that.

View Quote There's no sense arguing with a woman.

View Quote This script is an insult to a man's intelligence - even mine...It's impossible, inconceivable, incomprehensible, and besides that, it's no good. And as for the continuity, it's terrible.