quotes

View Quote Mr. Hart, I sign your name better than you do!

View Quote Oh, you are ROTTEN, Mr. Hart. Has anyone ever told you that?! I never thought I would live to see the say I would say this about another human being, but you are EVIL! That's right, evil to the core!!!

View Quote Oh Mr. Hart, you didn't make a mistake. You see I'll just have to remember to check, the next time I'm asked to go to work at a convention that there is a convention going on.

View Quote I'm as nice as I know how to be to every single person down at that office. Everybody treats me like a bastard at a family reunion.

View Quote So! You've been tellin' everybody I'm sleepin' with ya, huh? Well that explains it! That's why these people treat me like some dime-store floozy. They think I'm screwin' the boss! Oh, and you just love it, don't you!? It gives you some sort of cheap thrill, like knockin' over pencils and pickin' up papers...! Get your s****my hands offa me! Look, I've been straight with you since the first day I got here; and I've put up with all of your pinchin' and starin' and chasin' me around the desk, because I need this job. But this is the last straw! Look, I got a gun out there in my purse. And up till now, I've been forgivin' and forgettin' because of the way I was brought up. But I tell you one thing: if you ever say another word about me, or make another indecent proposal, I'm gonna get that gun of mine. And I'm gonna change you from a rooster to a hen [TV edit: "...from a bishop to a rabbi..."] with one shot! Don't think I can't do it!!!

View Quote Well, I say we hire a couple of wranglers to go upstairs and beat the shit out of him.

View Quote Mr. Hart, if you touch that phone, I'm gonna jerk it out of the wall!

View Quote He's got you for poisoning him, and me for roping him, and you for acting like he was first prize at a turkey shoot!