Nutty Professor 2 quotes

View Quote "I'm not that kind of... [screaming] GUUUUUUUUUUUY!!!!!!"

View Quote Anna: [Answering door] Oh my goodness! Is there a fire?
Fireman Stripper: Yes ma'am. I'm afraid there is.
Anna: I don't smell no smoke. [sniffs]
Fireman Stripper: [Walks in and beings playing music from stereo] There's a fire in my pants, and it's getting muy caliente! [begins stripping]
Party guests, Bridesmaid and Denise: Ooh! [laugh and clap]

View Quote Denise: [persistent] Sherman, look at me! Who am I?
Sherman: Ah, pretty lady!
Denise: [sobbing] Oh, honey! It's going to be okay, I'll take care of you.
Sherman: [at same time] Yeah, nice lady!
Cletus: Come on, lets get him home.

View Quote Grandma Klump: Does Cletus know I'm strapped?
Cletus: Come on, shoot.
Grandma Klump: I'm strapped, ****!

View Quote Granny: Come on Cletus, come on right now! But I'm gonna tell you something, I gotta a razor in this here bag.
Cletus: Oh yeah? Well let me tell you something, that ain't even no bag you got in your hand, that's your titty.
Anna: Cletus!
Cletus: What are you talkin' about? She is an old bag with titties.
Anna: Jesus!
Cletus: Old bag with old bag titties!
Anna: Damn it, Cletus! Don't you mind?
Ernie (quietly to Ernie Jr.): Heh, he called Grandma a titty bag!
Granny: [to Cletus] Death!

View Quote Granny: The other day I got out the shower and I bend down to reach for a towel, and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Shot through my chest and up around my shoulder and down my spine. I thought "Oh, Lord." I thought I was dying. I bent over and looked, and I was standing on my own titty.
Anna: You don't need a breast reduction, just be more careful.
Granny: Both feet too, both feet.

View Quote Granny: You better eat up Isaac, 'cause you gonna need your strength. Yeah, later on, me and Isaac gonna watch "Mating Season on the Serengeti." Doesn't take a lot to get Isaac going.
Cletus: Timeout! Let me call a timeout on that.
Anna: Lord, my, my.
Cletus: I don't want to hear about you old-ass geriatrics.
Granny: Oh, yeah Cletus? Me and Isaac might be dried up geriatrics, but ain't nothing wrong with Isaac'a love tackle.
[Table falls silent].
Ernie: Oh snap now.
Granny: What's a matter Cletus, cat got your tongue? Did I step on a nerve Cletus? I get ya, got ya, got ya!

View Quote Sherman Klump: Buddy Love, I am SICK, and TIRED, of your S-H...
Dean Richmond: "I"
Sherman Klump: Thank you. T-E!
Buddy Love: Oh, ho-ho-ho. My shite?

View Quote [Sherman is serenading Denise with the assistance of a Mariachi band]
Sherman: Denise will you...
Buddy: Hey Sherman. You hear me Sherman?
Sherman: ...Denise will ya...will ya...let me come up there and put my beef in your taco?
Mexican band: "...Put the beef in your taco!
Denise: What?
Sherman: [Buddy cackles, Sherman's conscious comes back] Oh, no! No, no, no! (Chuckles) That's not what I meant to say, Denise! That was just a little joke! I just wanted to see if you wanted to go out and get some Mexican food. That's why I said that.
Denise: ...Well I am kind of hungry, but I'm not...
Sherman: Yeah, you are huh? Yeah, I bet you could stand for a big ole whopper right now, huh?
Mexican band: "...A big ole whopper right now!
Neighbor: You're sick!
Sherman: Yeah, I got to tell you, I'm a Jumbo Jack man myself, if you know what I mean. Yeah and I'm loaded with secret sauce! Yeah, come on!
[Sherman does a perverted dance in front of a shocked Denise, and falls to the ground, sexually humping it.]
Neighbor: You're gonna ruin my lawn, you pervert!

View Quote [Has lost all of his intelligence. Denise asks him to tell her who she is] Ah, pretty lady!

View Quote [Sherman, losing his intelligence, misspells "Shit" S-H-I-T-E] Oh, ho-ho-ho. My shite?

View Quote [To Denise] I never... never wanted to hurt you. Understand? I thought that if you knew Buddy was a part of me, you wouldn't have me.

View Quote Deals come and go. Wellman will always be Wellman. But you know what bothers me? I walk down the street and this cute little boy says, "Look Mommy, there goes the Hamster's BITCH!"

View Quote Oh, you bastard. [sees a rubber ball, because his body has dog DNA]

View Quote You know it's funny how you get used to certain things in life. You get used to being overweight. I did. You even get used to people making fun of you. Somewhere along the line I got used to being alone. And I just don't want to be alone anymore.