Parent Trap, The (1998) quotes

View Quote Annie: [after a discussion about how Annie as Hallie seems different to Chessy] Chessy, I changed a lot over the summer, that's all.
Chessy: [unconvinced] Okay... But if I don't know any better, I'd say it's almost like you were– [stops herself] Forget it, it's impossible.
Annie: Almost if I were who, Chessy?
Chessy: Nobody, nobody, forget I mentioned it.
Annie: Almost if I were Annie?
Chessy: [slowly turning around] You know about Annie?
Annie: [dropping her "Hallie" accent] I... am Annie.

View Quote Annie: [Hallie just finished cutting Annie's hair to look like hers] This is so scary.
Hallie: Honey, you never looked better.

View Quote Annie: Hallie, what's your mother like?
Hallie: I never met her. She and my dad split up when I was a baby, maybe even before, I'm not sure. He doesn't really like to talk about her... but I know she was really beautiful.
Annie: How do you know that?
Hallie: Because my dad had this old picture of her hidden in his sock drawer and he caught me looking at it all the time so he gave it to me to keep. I'm really thirsty, you sure you don't want to go to the mess hall and get a lemonade?
Annie: Will you stop thinking about your stomach at a time like this?!
Hallie: At a time like what?
Annie: [as she and Hallie step back into the cabin] Don't you realize what's happening? Oh man, this is beyond coincidence, this is beyond imagination! I only have a mother, and you only have a father... You've never seen your mum, and I've never seen my dad. You have one old picture of your mum, I have one old picture of my dad! Well, at least yours is probably a whole picture; Mine's a pathetic little thing, ripped right down the middle...! [notices Hallie going through her bag] What are you rummaging in your trunk for, this time?
Hallie: [she finally faces Annie as she holds a picture to her chest] This. It's the picture of my mom. And it's ripped too.
Annie: [knowing] Right down the middle?
Hallie: [nervously] Right down the middle.
Annie: [races over to her trunk and takes out a photo and holds it to her chest] This is so freaky. Okay. On the count of three, we'll show them to each other, okay?
Hallie: Okay.
Annie: 1...
Hallie: 2...
Annie: [together with Hallie] 3!
[they both gasp as they place the photo together and realize...]
Hallie: That's my dad...
Annie: That's my mum... [she hears the lunch bell] That's the lunch bell.
Hallie: [as she wipes away her tears] I'm not so hungry anymore. So if your mom is my mom, and my dad is your dad... and we're both born on October 11th, then you and I are... like... sisters.
Annie: Sisters? Hallie, we're like twins!
Hallie: Oh my god!
Annie: Oh my god!
[they hug]

View Quote Annie: That girl is without a doubt, the lowest, most awful creature to ever walk the planet!
Hallie: [watching from outside, impersonating Elvis] Thank you, thank you very much.

View Quote Chessy: Hi, you probably don't remember me–
Elizabeth: [warmly] Chessy!
Chessy: [pleased] I knew I always liked her!

View Quote Elizabeth: Girls, you are going to tell me why you lied and brought me here without telling your father.
Chessy: Were they? OK, that's good. Ah, well then I'm just going to go back to my room and check out the ole minibar situation.
Martin: Allow me to assist you.
Elizabeth: Wait! Does everyone here know something I don't know?!
Annie: Mum... Daddy's getting married.
[Elizabeth takes a moment to process this, then falls back down on the sofa]
Annie: To Cruella de Vil – She's awful, Mom! We can't let him go through with it!
Hallie: She's all wrong for him, Mom! And the only way he won't marry her is if... [stops; to Annie] You tell her, she knows you better.
Annie: [sits down next to her mother] Is if he sees you again.
Elizabeth: Wait a minute... You're not trying to set me up with your father?!
Hallie: Actually, we are. You're perfect for each other!
Elizabeth: [notices both Martin and Chessy trying to sneak away] Hold it! You two knew about this?!
Chessy: [feigning ignorance] What?! Oh, no!
Martin: No! Madame, no! Absolutely no idea–!
Chessy: No, no, no, no! I had no idea–! [Elizabeth gives them a look] ...Yes. I did know something...
Martin: ...Yes. Technically, yes. I had an inkling, anyway...

View Quote Hallie: How far away is London anyway?
Annie: Well, from here it's 3,000 miles, but sometimes it seems much further... How far away is your home?
Hallie: Oh, California is way at the other end of the country. Actually, here's a picture of my house. [shows Annie a photo]
Annie: Wow! It's beautiful.
Hallie: Yeah. We built it when I was little. We've got this incredible porch that looks over the entire vineyard, and then–
Annie: [points to figure in the photograph] Who.. Who's that?
Hallie: Oh, that's my Dad; He didn't know I was taking the picture then, or else he would have turned around. He's kinda like my best friend. We do everything together. [Annie sighs] What's the matter?
Annie: Oh, it's chilly in here, that's all...
Hallie: [pulls out a packet of Oreos] Want one?
Annie: Oh, sure, I love Oreos! At home I eat them with... I eat them with peanut butter.
Hallie: [surprised] You do? That is so weird... [pulls out a jar of peanut butter] So do I!
Annie: You're kidding! Most people find that totally disgusting!
Hallie: I know! I don't get it...
Annie: Me either.
[They both laugh]
Hallie: What's your dad like? I mean, is he the kind of father you can talk to, or is he one of those workaholic types who says; "I'll talk to ya later, honey...", but you know, never really does? I hate that.
Annie: I don't have a father, actually. I mean, I had one once, I suppose... But my parents divorced years ago. My mother never even mentions him. It's like he evaporated into thin air, or something...
Hallie: It's scary the way nobody stays together anymore.
Annie: Tell me about it.

View Quote Hallie: [crying, seeing her mother for the first time] I'm sorry, it's just, I've missed you so much!
Elizabeth: I know, it seems like it's been forever!
Hallie: You have no idea...

View Quote Hallie: [playing poker with Annie at camp] I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'll make you a little deal: loser jumps into the lake after the game.
Annie: Excellent.
Hallie: Butt-naked.
Annie: Even more excellent. Start unzipping, Parker. [revealing her hand to Hallie] Straight, in diamonds.
Hallie: You're good, James... but... you're just not good enough. [revealing her hand to Annie] In your honor, a royal flush.

View Quote Hallie: So, doesn't designing all these wedding gowns ever make you think about getting married again, or at least make you think about the "F" word?
Elizabeth: [surprised] The "F" word?
Hallie: My father.
Elizabeth: Oh! Oh, that "F" word! Well, no actually, because I didn't even wear a wedding gown when I married the "F" word.
Hallie: You didn't? Why not?
Elizabeth: Why the sudden curiosity about your dad, huh?
Hallie: Well, maybe because he's never mentioned? And you can't blame a kid for wondering. Mother, you can't avoid the subject forever. At least tell me what he was like.
Elizabeth: Okay. He was quite lovely, to tell you the truth. When we met he was... actually, entirely lovely.
Hallie: All right?
Elizabeth: All right.
Hallie: So, did you meet him here in London?
Elizabeth: We met on the Q.E. 2.
Hallie: Q.E. what?
Elizabeth: The Queen Elizabeth II. It's an ocean liner that sails from London to New York... 'cause I wasn't keen on flying then, and neither was your father. We met our first night on board ship. We were seated next to each other at dinner. He's an American, you know.
Hallie: No kidding? So, was it love at first sight?
Elizabeth: [sighs in mock-exasperation] I knew you were going to ask me all these questions one day!

View Quote Hallie: You wanna know the real difference between us?
Annie: Let me see... I know how to fence and you don't, or I have class and you don't. Take your pick.
Hallie: [infuriated] Why, I oughta...!

View Quote Martin: All right, shall we review your mother's list?
Annie: Mm-hmm.
Martin: Now, let's see... Vitamins?
Annie: Check.
Martin: Minerals?
Annie: Check.
Martin: List of daily fruits and vegetables.
Annie: Check. Check. [Martin looks at her oddly] Check for fruits, check for vegetables. Go on.
Martin: Sun block, lip balm, insect repellent, [Annie bits back a smile] stationery, stamps, photograph of your mother, grandfather... and, of course, your trusty butler, me.
Annie: Got it all, I think.
Martin: Oh, and, um, here's a little something from your grandfather; [holds out a deck of cards] A spanking-new deck of cards. Maybe you'll actually find somebody on this continent who can whip your tush at poker.
Annie: Well, I doubt it, but thanks.

View Quote Nick: Hal, come here. We have to talk.
Annie: Okay, shoot.
Nick: Okay, honey... I want to know what you think about making Meredith part of the family.
Annie: Part of our family?
Nick: Yeah.
Annie: I think it's an awesome idea. Inspired. Brilliant, really.
Nick: You do? Really? You do?
Annie: Totally, it's like a dream come true. I've always wanted a big sister.
Nick: Oh... um... Honey, I think you're kind of missing the point.
Annie: No, I'm not. You're gonna adopt Meredith. That's so sweet, Dad!
Nick: No, I'm not going to adopt her... I'm going to marry her.
Annie: [leaps from her seat] Marry her?! That's insane! How can you marry a woman young enough to be my big sister?! [starts ranting in French] Mais tu plaisantes, j'espère. Meredith, ce n'est pas une fille pour toi. Mais c'est pas possible, je rêve. Qu'est-ce qui...
Nick Parker: Hal, Hal, Hal! Calm down, Hal! [beat] Are you speaking 'French?
Annie: I... I learned it at camp. [takes a breath] Okay, I'm sorry. Let's discuss this calmly. Calmly and rationally.
Nick: Yeah, and in English, if you don't mind, right?
Annie: Okay.
Nick: Sweetheart, what has gotten into you?
Annie: Nothing, nothing, just... just... Dad, you can't get married! It'll totally ruin completely everything!
[she runs from the house]
Nick: Hal! Hal! Hallie!
[he looks to Chessy, who appears at a window]
Chessy: Don't look at me, I don't know a thing. [closes the windows]

View Quote Nick: Hello, Liz.
Elizabeth: Hello, Nick. Well, gosh. There you are. What do you know?
Nick: Is there something going on here that I should know about? Because I'm stunned to see you. But, ah, you don't seem as stunned to see me. I mean I haven't seen or heard from you in what, 10, 11 years? And all of sudden on the very day that ...
Annie: [suddenly appearing, interrupting] Dad, I can explain why she's here.
Nick: Hallie, you know who this is?
Annie: Actually, yes. And actually, I'm not Hallie.
Hallie: [suddenly appearing] Actually, I am.
Nick: Both of them? Annie, Hallie?
Annie: I guess you and Mum kind of think alike because you both sent us to the same camp, and we met there, and the whole thing just sort of spilled out.
Elizabeth: They switched places on us, Nick.
Nick: You mean I've had Annie with me all this time?
Annie: Well, I wanted to know what you were like and Hallie wanted to know Mum and — are you angry?
Nick: Oh, honey, of course not. I just can't believe it's you. [they hug] Last time I saw you, you had diaper rash. You're all wet.
Annie: That's all right.
Nick: Look at you!
Annie: Well I'm quite grown up now and quite without a father.
Hallie: And I'm headed into my crazy mixed up teenage years and I'll be the only girl I know without a mother to fight with.
Nick: Hallie, you've been in London all this time? [Hallie nods] Come here, squirt. [they hug]
Hallie: Mom's amazing, Dad. I don't know how you ever let her go.
Elizabeth: Girls, why-why don't you let your father and I talk alone for a couple of minutes, okay?

View Quote Nick: I told Hallie.
Meredith: You did? And?
Nick: She went ballistic. She started yelling in 'French – I didn't even know she spoke French!