Captain Jack Sparrow quotes

View Quote Allow me to lend a machete to your intellectual thicket...

View Quote My peanut! (He just shot a hallucination of himself who was trying to eat a peanut, his first line in this movie.)

View Quote He needs the Pearl. Captain Turner needs the Pearl. [To Elizabeth] And you felt guilty. [To Barbossa] And you and your Brethren Court. Did no one come to save me just because they missed me? [Marty, then Ragetti, Pintel, and Jack the monkey raise their hands] I'm standing over there with them.

View Quote Why should I sail with any of you? Four of you have tried to kill me in the past. One of you succeeded. [After Will looks suspiciously at Elizabeth] Oh, she's not told you. You'll have loads to talk about while you're here.

View Quote [Summing up his crew whilst in the Locker; to Ragetti] Don't need you--you scare me. Mr. Gibbs, you can come, Marty--[sees Pintel] Eugh. Mr Cotton... Cotton's parrot, a lttle iffy, but at least I'll have someone to talk to.

View Quote We must fight... to run away.

View Quote You may kill me but you may never insult me! Who am I? [Beckett looks confused] ... (Disappointed) I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!

View Quote I rather like the sound of that...Captain Jack Sparrow, the last pirate.

View Quote I will not be going back to the Locker, mate. Count on that.

View Quote We are to assume that she is a woman scorned, like which fury hell hath no!

View Quote Up is down. Well that's just maddeningly unhelpful! Why are these things never clear? [hallucinated Jack] Clear as mud, Jackie. [Jack] What?! [hallucination] Stab the heart. [another hallucination on his left shoulder] Don't stab the heart! [Jack] Come again? [left Jack] The Dutchman must have a captain. [Jack] Well that's just more than less than unhelpful.

View Quote [To hallucinated Jack, a Dutchman crew member, Bootstrap Bill] Nobody move! Dropped me brain!

View Quote [To himself whilst in the Locker] [distressed] But why? Wh-why would he do that? [derisive] Well, because he's a lummox, isn't he? [lofty and snobbish] Well, we shall have a magnificent garden party and you're not invited! [giggles]

View Quote Now we're being followed by rocks... never heard that one before.

View Quote [Pointing to the line "parlay" in the pirates code] Fancy that.

View Quote How's mum? [Teague holds up a shrunken head] ...She looks.... great!

View Quote [About the Black Pearl] Yes. there it is...Why's it there?

View Quote [About the Black Pearl] It's much bigger up close.

View Quote Well, that's even more than less than unhelpful.

View Quote [Surrounded by pirates pointing guns at him] Parlay?

View Quote [About Barbossa] Shoot him, then cut out his tongue, then shoot his tongue! And trim that scraggly beard.

View Quote [To his hallucinations of himself] I have no sympathy for any of you feculent maggots and no more patience to pretend otherwise. Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness. [Swings off ship]

View Quote [Trying to escape the brig] Think like the whelp, think like the whelp, think like the whelp... Half-barrel hinges. Leverage!

View Quote Love, that is a dinghy. My vessel is magnificent, and fierce, and huge-ish, and... gone..... why is it gone?!

View Quote [Voting for King of the Brethren court] ...Elizabeth Swann. [everyone looks at him in shock] I know, curious, isn't it?.

View Quote [After he learns Sao Feng made Elizabeth captain] They're just giving the bloody title away now!

View Quote [Elizabeth tries to kiss him] Once was quite enough.

View Quote [In reply to Barbossa's claim to have a ship, pointing to the Pearl] Can't spot it. It must be a tiny thing hiding somewhere behind the Pearl.

View Quote [While Giselle and Scarlett are argueing, Jack mad about his ship stolen again by Barbossa] Ladies, will you please shut it?! [Turning his head back and forth to Scarlett and Giselle as he speaks each sentence] Yes, I lied to you. No, I don't love you. Of course it makes you look fat! I've never been to Brussels. It is pronounced, "egregious." And by the way, no, I never actually met Pizzaro, but I love his pies. And all of this pales into utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is, once again, gone! Savvy?

View Quote I prefer rum. Rum is good.

View Quote [after flying from one ship to another and landing perfectly] And that was without even a single drop of rum.

View Quote [about Will] Send this pestilent, traitorous, cow-hearted, yeasty codpiece to the brig.

View Quote [to Elizabeth's "This is madness"] This is politics.

View Quote [to a rock] Shoo.

View Quote [To his hallucinated selves] Wish us luck, boys. We'll need it.

View Quote Close your eyes and pretend it's all just a bad dream. That's how I get by.

View Quote [To one of Jones' crew] Oi. My pistol.

View Quote Cruel is a matter of perspective.

View Quote [to Barbossa] Whose boons? Your boons? Utterly deceptive twaddlespeak, says I. [Barbossa questions him] Cuttlefish. Let us not dear friends, forget our dear friends the cuttlefish.[He mumbles to another pirate] Flipping glorious little sausages. Pen them up together and they will devour each other without a single thought. Human nature, isn't it? Or...fish nature. So, yes [Gesturing to Mistress Ching] we could stay here, well provisioned, well armed, and half of us will be dead within a month. Which sounds pretty grim any way you slice it. Or...we could, [Gesturing to Barbossa] as my learned colleague so naively suggests, we can release Calypso and pray she may be merciful...I rather doubt it. Can we pretend that she nothing more than a woman scorned like which fury hell hath no? We cannot! So, I agree with, and I cannot believe the words are coming out of me mouth...Captain Swann. We must fight.

View Quote The world is still the same...there's just less in it...

View Quote [To Cutler Becket] You can have Barbossa. The belligerent homonculus and his friend with the wooden eye, both. And Turner. Especially Turner.