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Aubrey Posen: Oh, we don't have ladders. Ladders represent a social hierarchy that's counterproductive to what we're trying to do here.
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Clay Matthews: [after failing in the Riff-Off] I'm sorry, man - I was just focused in on 42 G's at D and B's!
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Riff-Off Host: You think you're a better lyricist than Sir Mix-a-lot? A man who was knighted by Queen. You know the band Queen?
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Aubrey: Welcome to the Lodge of Fallen Leaves, where Fortune 500 companies send their employees to build teamwork skills.
Beca: You run this whole place?
Aubrey: You know, I realized that I had a knack for barking orders and bending people's wills, so I made a career out of it.
Beca: You run this whole place?
Aubrey: You know, I realized that I had a knack for barking orders and bending people's wills, so I made a career out of it.
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Beca's Boss: Any ideas? Because I...
Dax: Okay, um, hear me out. We can remove the sleigh bells, and put in kalimba... You know, the finger thing.
Beca's Boss: I know what a kalimba does. I know how it's operated, okay?
Dax: Kalimba...
Beca's Boss: Don't say it again. Go in the corner. Go eat your lunch in the corner.
Dax: But what am I gonna do with my Sriracha?
Beca's Boss: Say one more hipster thing and I'm gonna shove you in your vintage bassoon case.
Dax: Okay, um, hear me out. We can remove the sleigh bells, and put in kalimba... You know, the finger thing.
Beca's Boss: I know what a kalimba does. I know how it's operated, okay?
Dax: Kalimba...
Beca's Boss: Don't say it again. Go in the corner. Go eat your lunch in the corner.
Dax: But what am I gonna do with my Sriracha?
Beca's Boss: Say one more hipster thing and I'm gonna shove you in your vintage bassoon case.
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Beca: Okay, we didn’t come here to start something with you guys. We just wanted to check you out. You know, for when we go to the Worlds. And kick your ass.
Fat Amy: Oooh! Get it, girl.
Kommissar: You? You are the kicker of ass? But you are so tiny. Like an elf. Or is it a sprite? Fairy? What is the word I mean?
Pieter Krämer: Troll.
Kommissar: That’s it. You are like a troll.
Beca: Well you... are... physically flawless. But that doesn’t mean I like you.
Chloe: We are not scared about the Worlds because when The Bellas hit the stage we are going to blow minds.
Pieter Krämer: Blow minds? With what? More of Flabby Abby's baby chute?
Fat Amy: That's not my name.
Pieter Krämer: I don't know your name. Could be anything. Obese Denise. Inflexible Tina. Lazy Susan...
Fat Amy: My name is Fat Amy, un I eat krauts like you for lunch.
Pieter Krämer: Your team is like, a, how do you say that? A heated mess. You know, a mess where heat is applied to it so what once was a little messy is now even messier.
Kommissar: Darlings, please take my advice. Don’t try to beat us. You can’t. We are the best. I must go and rest my neck. It is sore from looking down on you.
Beca: Okay! Just because you are making me very sexually confused does mean that you are intimidating. We got a chip on our shoulder and nothing to lose. And we’re not backing down from anyone. Aca Wiedersehen, bitches. Aw, what’s happening to me? Why am I using my hands so much?
Fat Amy: Oooh! Get it, girl.
Kommissar: You? You are the kicker of ass? But you are so tiny. Like an elf. Or is it a sprite? Fairy? What is the word I mean?
Pieter Krämer: Troll.
Kommissar: That’s it. You are like a troll.
Beca: Well you... are... physically flawless. But that doesn’t mean I like you.
Chloe: We are not scared about the Worlds because when The Bellas hit the stage we are going to blow minds.
Pieter Krämer: Blow minds? With what? More of Flabby Abby's baby chute?
Fat Amy: That's not my name.
Pieter Krämer: I don't know your name. Could be anything. Obese Denise. Inflexible Tina. Lazy Susan...
Fat Amy: My name is Fat Amy, un I eat krauts like you for lunch.
Pieter Krämer: Your team is like, a, how do you say that? A heated mess. You know, a mess where heat is applied to it so what once was a little messy is now even messier.
Kommissar: Darlings, please take my advice. Don’t try to beat us. You can’t. We are the best. I must go and rest my neck. It is sore from looking down on you.
Beca: Okay! Just because you are making me very sexually confused does mean that you are intimidating. We got a chip on our shoulder and nothing to lose. And we’re not backing down from anyone. Aca Wiedersehen, bitches. Aw, what’s happening to me? Why am I using my hands so much?
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Emily: I'm a Junk. [pause] My mom was a Bella.
Chloe: Your mother is Katherine Junk?
Fat Amy: Who?
Chloe: Only the top bitch of the 1981 Bellas. She pioneered the syncopated booty shake. And word is she has a five-octave vocal range.
Emily: Yep, still does. You do not want to hear that woman doing it with my dad.
Fat Amy: What an odd thing to say.
Chloe: True.
Chloe: Your mother is Katherine Junk?
Fat Amy: Who?
Chloe: Only the top bitch of the 1981 Bellas. She pioneered the syncopated booty shake. And word is she has a five-octave vocal range.
Emily: Yep, still does. You do not want to hear that woman doing it with my dad.
Fat Amy: What an odd thing to say.
Chloe: True.
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Fat Amy: Just tell her, Beca.
Chloe: I heard that! Tell me what?
Fat Amy: Aw, no. I clearly said... Fruffa fruffa muffa... Beca.
Chloe: I heard that! Tell me what?
Fat Amy: Aw, no. I clearly said... Fruffa fruffa muffa... Beca.
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Flo: [crammed into a tent with all of the Bellas] I do not understand camping. We are voluntarily living like dogs.
Beca: This is the worst. The air we’re breathing is at least ninety percent fart.
Fat Amy: That reminds me, I need to see a man about a horse. [climbs over the others to get out] Um, before I head out, anyone happen to pack a spare roll of toilet paper? Maybe some Subway napkins? Tootsie Roll wrapper? Or a t-shirt size extra small? [no response] Nope. Side of the tent it is. [she leaves]
Beca: What are we doing here?
Chloe: We’re bonding! You seem so tense. Do you need a back rub?
Beca: I’m good. Several body parts are rubbing my back right now.
Chloe: Beca, I know we’re already close but this retreat will let us discover everything about each other.
Beca: Is that right?
Chloe: [moving in closer] You know, one of my regrets in college is that I didn’t do enough experimenting.
Beca: You’re so weird.
Chloe: I know.
Beca: This is the worst. The air we’re breathing is at least ninety percent fart.
Fat Amy: That reminds me, I need to see a man about a horse. [climbs over the others to get out] Um, before I head out, anyone happen to pack a spare roll of toilet paper? Maybe some Subway napkins? Tootsie Roll wrapper? Or a t-shirt size extra small? [no response] Nope. Side of the tent it is. [she leaves]
Beca: What are we doing here?
Chloe: We’re bonding! You seem so tense. Do you need a back rub?
Beca: I’m good. Several body parts are rubbing my back right now.
Chloe: Beca, I know we’re already close but this retreat will let us discover everything about each other.
Beca: Is that right?
Chloe: [moving in closer] You know, one of my regrets in college is that I didn’t do enough experimenting.
Beca: You’re so weird.
Chloe: I know.
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John: [about the rivalry between the Barden Bellas and Das Sound Machine] This could be the most significant conflict between America and Germany in history!
Gail: ...Crack a book, John.
Gail: ...Crack a book, John.
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John: [after the Bellas' performance] Simple, raw, vulnerable, exposed...I’ve been called many things, Gail, but let me add one more. Impressed.
Gail: Thought you were going to say gay.
Gail: Thought you were going to say gay.
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John: Hey, everybody, welcome back to “Let’s Talk appella” the portable podcast edition.
Gail: We are following the story of the embattled Barden Bellas on their road to redemption.
John: Trying to crawl their way back into the public’s affection. And if they can just hold off showing us any of their genitalia, they may make it to the World Championship.
Gail: But I can’t unsee it.
John: Well, there’s a picture of it right here.
Gail: That cannot be your screensaver, John.
Gail: We are following the story of the embattled Barden Bellas on their road to redemption.
John: Trying to crawl their way back into the public’s affection. And if they can just hold off showing us any of their genitalia, they may make it to the World Championship.
Gail: But I can’t unsee it.
John: Well, there’s a picture of it right here.
Gail: That cannot be your screensaver, John.
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John: Welcome back, a cappella enthusiasts. My name is John Smith, and sitting here to my left is Gail Abernathy-McCadden-Feinberger.
John: Well, you saved the Jew for last.
Gail: I did. I did.
John: You're listening to Let's Talk-Appella, the world's premiere downloadable a cappella podcast. We are coming to you live from the nation's capital, where the Barden University Bellas are about to rock the historic Kennedy Center. Boy, these girls have broken down every single barrier in their path, haven't they, Gail?
Gail: Absolutely, John. The first all-female group to win a national title, three-time defending champs, and now, here they are, performing for the President of the United States on his birthday.
John: Wow! What an inspiration to girls all over the country who are too ugly to be cheerleaders.
John: Well, you saved the Jew for last.
Gail: I did. I did.
John: You're listening to Let's Talk-Appella, the world's premiere downloadable a cappella podcast. We are coming to you live from the nation's capital, where the Barden University Bellas are about to rock the historic Kennedy Center. Boy, these girls have broken down every single barrier in their path, haven't they, Gail?
Gail: Absolutely, John. The first all-female group to win a national title, three-time defending champs, and now, here they are, performing for the President of the United States on his birthday.
John: Wow! What an inspiration to girls all over the country who are too ugly to be cheerleaders.
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Kommissar: Tiny Mouse, we meet again. Have you abandoned your foolish plans to face us at the Worlds?
Beca: You wish you... gorgeous specimen -- [to Chloe] She’s really in my head.
Beca: You wish you... gorgeous specimen -- [to Chloe] She’s really in my head.