Multiple Characters quotes
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Philip Stuckey: [about Morse] He mortgaged everything he owns, right down to his underwear, to secure a loan from the bank.
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Magician at party: No matter what they say, it's all about money. So let's imagine, ladies, that you're a savings and loan officer. Watch - one, two, three; see, you've got it all, and we've got nothing. You've got all four, take a look.
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Happy Man: Welcome to Hollywood! What's your dream? Everybody comes here; this is Hollywood, land of dreams. Some dreams come true, some don't; but keep on dreamin' - this is Hollywood. Always time to dream, so keep on dreamin'.
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Edward: When you and I were dating, did you speak to my secretary more than you spoke to me?
Susan: She was one of my bridesmaids.
Susan: She was one of my bridesmaids.
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Vivian: Wait a minute — that's a Lotus Esprit!
Kit: No, that's rent. You should go for him. You look hot tonight. Don't take less than a hundred. Call me when you're through... Take care you.
Vivian: Take care you.
Kit: No, that's rent. You should go for him. You look hot tonight. Don't take less than a hundred. Call me when you're through... Take care you.
Vivian: Take care you.
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Vivian: Hey, sugar, you lookin' for a date?
Edward: No, I want to find Beverly Hills. Can you give me directions?
Vivian: Sure. For five bucks.
Edward: Ridiculous.
Vivian: Price just went up to ten.
Edward: You can't charge me for directions!
Vivian: I can do anything I want to, baby. I ain't lost.
Edward: No, I want to find Beverly Hills. Can you give me directions?
Vivian: Sure. For five bucks.
Edward: Ridiculous.
Vivian: Price just went up to ten.
Edward: You can't charge me for directions!
Vivian: I can do anything I want to, baby. I ain't lost.
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Edward: I hadn't exactly planned this.
Vivian: Do you plan everything?
Edward: Always.
Vivian: Yeah me too! I'm actually, no I'm not a planner. I would say I'm a kinda fly by the seat of your pants gal, you know moment to moment. Yeah that's me, that's...yeah.
Vivian: Do you plan everything?
Edward: Always.
Vivian: Yeah me too! I'm actually, no I'm not a planner. I would say I'm a kinda fly by the seat of your pants gal, you know moment to moment. Yeah that's me, that's...yeah.
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Edward: I guess this is not the greatest time to be a hooker, is it?
Vivian: Look, I use condoms always. I get checked out once a month at the free clinic. Not only am I better in the sack than an amateur, I am probably safer.
Edward: I like that; that's very good. You should have that printed on your business card.
Vivian: If you're makin' fun of me, I don't like it.
Edward: [laughs] No, I'm not making fun of you. No, I don't. I'm not. I wouldn't offend you. I'm sorry. What's your name?
Vivian: What do you want it to be?
Vivian: Look, I use condoms always. I get checked out once a month at the free clinic. Not only am I better in the sack than an amateur, I am probably safer.
Edward: I like that; that's very good. You should have that printed on your business card.
Vivian: If you're makin' fun of me, I don't like it.
Edward: [laughs] No, I'm not making fun of you. No, I don't. I'm not. I wouldn't offend you. I'm sorry. What's your name?
Vivian: What do you want it to be?
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Vivian: Man, this baby must corner like it's on rails!
Edward: Beg your pardon?
Vivian: Well, doesn't it blow your mind? This is only four cylinders!
Edward: Beg your pardon?
Vivian: Well, doesn't it blow your mind? This is only four cylinders!
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Edward: Tell me, what kind of... what kind of money you girls make these days? Ballpark.
Vivian: Can't take less than a hundred dollars.
Edward: Hundred dollars a night?
Vivian: For an hour.
Edward: An hour? You make a hundred dollars an hour and you got a safety pin holding your boot up? You gotta be joking.
Vivian: I never joke about money.
Edward: Neither do I.
[He turns to her.]
Edward: Hundred dollars a hour. Pretty stiff.
[She reaches over into his lap.]
Vivian: Well, no... but it's got potential.
Vivian: Can't take less than a hundred dollars.
Edward: Hundred dollars a night?
Vivian: For an hour.
Edward: An hour? You make a hundred dollars an hour and you got a safety pin holding your boot up? You gotta be joking.
Vivian: I never joke about money.
Edward: Neither do I.
[He turns to her.]
Edward: Hundred dollars a hour. Pretty stiff.
[She reaches over into his lap.]
Vivian: Well, no... but it's got potential.
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Vivian: What is your name?
Edward: Edward.
Vivian: Edward? That's my favorite name in the whole world!
Edward: [mock seriously] No!
Edward: Edward.
Vivian: Edward? That's my favorite name in the whole world!
Edward: [mock seriously] No!
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[A well-dressed couple observe Edward and the scantily-clad Vivian as an elevator arrives.]
Vivian: Well, color me happy! There's a sofa in here for two!
[The man moves to enter, but his wife stops him. A chagrined Edward turns to the couple.]
Edward: First time in an elevator.
Woman: Ah.
[Edward enters. The woman turns to her husband.]
Woman: Close your mouth, dear.
Vivian: Well, color me happy! There's a sofa in here for two!
[The man moves to enter, but his wife stops him. A chagrined Edward turns to the couple.]
Edward: First time in an elevator.
Woman: Ah.
[Edward enters. The woman turns to her husband.]
Woman: Close your mouth, dear.
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Vivian: Wow! Great view! I bet you can see all the way to the ocean from out here.
Edward: I'll take your word for it. I don't go out there.
Vivian: Why don't you go out there?
Edward: I'm afraid of heights.
Vivian: You are? So how come you rented the penthouse?
Edward: It's the best. I looked all around for penthouses on the first floor, but I can't find one.
Edward: I'll take your word for it. I don't go out there.
Vivian: Why don't you go out there?
Edward: I'm afraid of heights.
Vivian: You are? So how come you rented the penthouse?
Edward: It's the best. I looked all around for penthouses on the first floor, but I can't find one.
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Vivian: Well, now that you got me here, what are you going to do with me?
Edward: You wanna know something? I don't have a clue.
. . .
Vivian: You know, you could pay me. That's one way to, maybe, break the ice.
Edward: You wanna know something? I don't have a clue.
. . .
Vivian: You know, you could pay me. That's one way to, maybe, break the ice.
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[Vivian hops up onto Edward's desk in a sultry pose.]
Edward: You're on my fax.
Vivian: Well, that's one I haven't been on before.
Edward: You're on my fax.
Vivian: Well, that's one I haven't been on before.
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[Vivian pulls a fistful of condoms from her purse.]
Vivian: Pick one. I got red, I got green, I got yellow... I'm out of purple, but I do have one Gold Circle coin left... the condom of champions, the one and only... nothin' is gettin' through this sucker. Whaddya say, hmm?
Edward: A buffet of safety.
Vivian: I'm a safety girl.
Vivian: Pick one. I got red, I got green, I got yellow... I'm out of purple, but I do have one Gold Circle coin left... the condom of champions, the one and only... nothin' is gettin' through this sucker. Whaddya say, hmm?
Edward: A buffet of safety.
Vivian: I'm a safety girl.
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Vivian: Edward, are you in town on, uh, business or pleasure?
Edward: Business, I think.
Vivian: Business, you think. Well... let me guess. That would make you... a lawyer.
Edward: A lawyer?
Vivian: Umm-hmm.
Edward: What makes you think I'm a lawyer?
Vivian: You've got that, um... sharp, useless look about you.
Edward: Business, I think.
Vivian: Business, you think. Well... let me guess. That would make you... a lawyer.
Edward: A lawyer?
Vivian: Umm-hmm.
Edward: What makes you think I'm a lawyer?
Vivian: You've got that, um... sharp, useless look about you.
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Vivian: Listen, I... I appreciate this whole seduction scene you've got goin', but let me give you a tip — I'm a sure thing, okay? So... I'm on an hourly rate. Could we just move it along?
Edward: Somehow, I'm sensing that this time problem is a major issue with you. Why don't we just get through that right now.
Vivian: Great! Let's get started.
Edward: How much for the entire night?
Vivian: Stay here? [small laugh] You couldn't afford it.
Edward: Try me.
Vivian: 300 dollars.
Edward: Done. Thank you. Now we can relax.
[A flummoxed Vivian gets up.]
Vivian: Are you sure you want me to stay for the entire night? I mean, I could just pop ya good and be on my way.
Edward: [To] tell you the truth, I don't feel like being alone tonight.
Vivian: Why, is it your birthday, or something?
Edward: No.
Vivian: I mean, I have been the party at a couple of birthdays.
Edward: Hmpf. I bet you have.
Edward: Somehow, I'm sensing that this time problem is a major issue with you. Why don't we just get through that right now.
Vivian: Great! Let's get started.
Edward: How much for the entire night?
Vivian: Stay here? [small laugh] You couldn't afford it.
Edward: Try me.
Vivian: 300 dollars.
Edward: Done. Thank you. Now we can relax.
[A flummoxed Vivian gets up.]
Vivian: Are you sure you want me to stay for the entire night? I mean, I could just pop ya good and be on my way.
Edward: [To] tell you the truth, I don't feel like being alone tonight.
Vivian: Why, is it your birthday, or something?
Edward: No.
Vivian: I mean, I have been the party at a couple of birthdays.
Edward: Hmpf. I bet you have.
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Edward: Oh, by the way, Phil — about your car...
Philip Stuckey: Oh God. What?
Edward: It corners like it's on rails.
Philip Stuckey: What?! What does that mean? Edward... Edward...
[Grinning, Edward hangs up.]
Philip Stuckey: Oh God. What?
Edward: It corners like it's on rails.
Philip Stuckey: What?! What does that mean? Edward... Edward...
[Grinning, Edward hangs up.]
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Vivian: [after Edward catches her singing along to Kiss in the tub] Don't you just love Prince?
Edward: More than life itself.
Edward: More than life itself.
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[Fumbling with his tie, Edward tells Vivian about his business.]
Vivian: You don't actually have a billion dollars, huh?
Edward: No. I get some of it from banks, investors... it's not an easy thing to do.
Vivian: And you don't make anything...
Edward: No.
Vivian: ... and you don't build anything.
Edward: No.
Vivian: So whadda ya do with the companies once you buy 'em?
Edward: I sell them.
[Viv reaches for his tie.]
Vivian: Here, let me do that. You sell them.
Edward: Well, I... don't sell the whole company, I break it up into pieces, and then I sell that off, it's worth more than the whole.
Vivian: So, it's sort of like, um... stealing cars and selling 'em for parts, right?
Edward: [sighs exasperatedly] Yeah, sort of. But legal.
Vivian: You don't actually have a billion dollars, huh?
Edward: No. I get some of it from banks, investors... it's not an easy thing to do.
Vivian: And you don't make anything...
Edward: No.
Vivian: ... and you don't build anything.
Edward: No.
Vivian: So whadda ya do with the companies once you buy 'em?
Edward: I sell them.
[Viv reaches for his tie.]
Vivian: Here, let me do that. You sell them.
Edward: Well, I... don't sell the whole company, I break it up into pieces, and then I sell that off, it's worth more than the whole.
Vivian: So, it's sort of like, um... stealing cars and selling 'em for parts, right?
Edward: [sighs exasperatedly] Yeah, sort of. But legal.
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Edward: I will pay you to be at my beck and call.
Vivian: Look, I'd love to be your beck-and-call girl, but...
Vivian: Look, I'd love to be your beck-and-call girl, but...
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Edward: Any questions?
Vivian: Can I call you Eddie?
Edward: Not if you expect me to answer.
Vivian: I would have stayed for two thousand.
Edward: I would have paid four. I'll see ya tonight.
Vivian: Baby, I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go.
Edward: Three thousand, for six days, and Vivian, I will let you go.
Vivian: Can I call you Eddie?
Edward: Not if you expect me to answer.
Vivian: I would have stayed for two thousand.
Edward: I would have paid four. I'll see ya tonight.
Vivian: Baby, I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna wanna let me go.
Edward: Three thousand, for six days, and Vivian, I will let you go.
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Thompson: Now, Mr. Lewis, however, is a very special customer, and we like to think of our special customers as friends. Now, as a customer, we would expect Mr. Lewis to sign in any additional guests, but as a friend, we're willing to overlook it. Now, I'm assuming that you're a... [long pause] ... relative?
Vivian: [meekly] Yes.
Thompson: I thought so. Then you must be his...
[Thompson gives Vivian an expectant nod. Another long pause.]
Vivian: Niece?
Thompson: Of course. Naturally, when Mr. Lewis leaves, I won't see you in this hotel again. I assume you have no other uncles here?
Vivian: [meekly] Yes.
Thompson: I thought so. Then you must be his...
[Thompson gives Vivian an expectant nod. Another long pause.]
Vivian: Niece?
Thompson: Of course. Naturally, when Mr. Lewis leaves, I won't see you in this hotel again. I assume you have no other uncles here?
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Bridget: Now, I'm sure we're gonna find something here that your uncle would love.
Vivian: Bridg? He's not really my uncle.
Bridget: They never are, dear.
Vivian: Bridg? He's not really my uncle.
Bridget: They never are, dear.
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Vivian: Hello!
Edward: Never, ever pick up the phone.
Vivian: Then why're you calling me?
. . .
Vivian: All right. I'll meet you in the lobby, but only 'cause your payin' me to.
Edward: Well, thank you very much.
[He hangs up the phone and turns to the receptionist.]
Edward: Get her back for me, please.
. . .
Vivian: 'Lo?
Edward: I told you not to pick up the phone.
'Vivian: Then stop callin me.
[Edward snickers and hangs up.]
Vivian: [grinning] Sick.
Edward: Never, ever pick up the phone.
Vivian: Then why're you calling me?
. . .
Vivian: All right. I'll meet you in the lobby, but only 'cause your payin' me to.
Edward: Well, thank you very much.
[He hangs up the phone and turns to the receptionist.]
Edward: Get her back for me, please.
. . .
Vivian: 'Lo?
Edward: I told you not to pick up the phone.
'Vivian: Then stop callin me.
[Edward snickers and hangs up.]
Vivian: [grinning] Sick.
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Thompson: I have a message for you, sir.
Edward: From who?
Thompson: Ah, from your niece, sir.
Edward: My what?
Thompson: The young lady who's staying in your room, sir.
Edward: Oh. Hmm. I think we both know that she's not my niece.
Thompson: Of course.
Edward: The reason I know that, is that I am an only child.
Edward: From who?
Thompson: Ah, from your niece, sir.
Edward: My what?
Thompson: The young lady who's staying in your room, sir.
Edward: Oh. Hmm. I think we both know that she's not my niece.
Thompson: Of course.
Edward: The reason I know that, is that I am an only child.
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[Vivian accidentally launches an escargot, which is deftly caught by the mâitre-d.]
Vivian: Slippery little suckers.
Mâitre-D: It happens all the time.
Vivian: Slippery little suckers.
Mâitre-D: It happens all the time.
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Vivian: Let's watch old movies all night... we'll just veg out in front of the TV.
Edward: "Veg out"?
Vivian: Yeah. Be still like vegetables. Lay like broccoli.
Edward: Look, I'll tell ya what. I'll be back. We'll do broccoli tomorrow.
Edward: "Veg out"?
Vivian: Yeah. Be still like vegetables. Lay like broccoli.
Edward: Look, I'll tell ya what. I'll be back. We'll do broccoli tomorrow.
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Vivian: The stores are not nice to people — I don't like it.
Edward: Stores are never nice to people. They're nice to credit cards.
Edward: Stores are never nice to people. They're nice to credit cards.
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Edward: You see this young lady over here?
Hollister: Yes.
Edward: Do you have anything in this shop as beautiful as she is?
Hollister: Oh, yes.
[Edward gives Hollister a look.]
Hollister: Oh, no! No, no! No. I'm saying we have many things as beautiful as she... would want them to be! [babbling] That's the point I was getting at. And I think we can all agree with that. That's why, when you came in here, you knew from the first—
Edward: You know what we're gonna need here? We're going to need a few more people helping us out. I'll tell you why. We are going to be spending an obscene amount of money in here. So we're going to need a lot more help sucking up to us, 'cause that's what we really like.
Hollister: Ohhhh!
Edward: You understand that.
Hollister: Sir, if I may say so, you're in the right store, and the right city, for that matter!
Hollister: Yes.
Edward: Do you have anything in this shop as beautiful as she is?
Hollister: Oh, yes.
[Edward gives Hollister a look.]
Hollister: Oh, no! No, no! No. I'm saying we have many things as beautiful as she... would want them to be! [babbling] That's the point I was getting at. And I think we can all agree with that. That's why, when you came in here, you knew from the first—
Edward: You know what we're gonna need here? We're going to need a few more people helping us out. I'll tell you why. We are going to be spending an obscene amount of money in here. So we're going to need a lot more help sucking up to us, 'cause that's what we really like.
Hollister: Ohhhh!
Edward: You understand that.
Hollister: Sir, if I may say so, you're in the right store, and the right city, for that matter!
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Hollister: Exactly how obscene an amount of money were you talking about? Just... profane, or really offensive?
Edward: Really offensive.
Hollister: [to himself] I like him so much.
Edward: Really offensive.
Hollister: [to himself] I like him so much.
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Hollister: Mr. Lewis? How's it going so far?
Edward: Pretty well, I think. I think we need some major sucking up.
Hollister: Very well, sir. You're... not only handsome, but a powerful man. I could see the second you walked in here, you were someone to reckon with...
Edward: Hollister.
Hollister: Yes, sir?
Edward: Not me. Her.
Edward: Pretty well, I think. I think we need some major sucking up.
Hollister: Very well, sir. You're... not only handsome, but a powerful man. I could see the second you walked in here, you were someone to reckon with...
Edward: Hollister.
Hollister: Yes, sir?
Edward: Not me. Her.
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[Vivian, smartly dressed and carrying many bags, stops in at yesterday's clothing store.]
Vivian: Do you remember me?
Salesperson: No, I'm sorry.
Vivian: I was in here yesterday. You wouldn't wait on me?
Salesperson: Oh.
Vivian: You work on commission, right?
Salesperson: Ah, yes.
Vivian: Big mistake. Big. Huge! [turns away] I have to go shopping now!
Vivian: Do you remember me?
Salesperson: No, I'm sorry.
Vivian: I was in here yesterday. You wouldn't wait on me?
Salesperson: Oh.
Vivian: You work on commission, right?
Salesperson: Ah, yes.
Vivian: Big mistake. Big. Huge! [turns away] I have to go shopping now!
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Edward: I was very angry with him. It cost me ten thousand dollars in therapy to say that sentence: "I was very angry him." I do it very well, don't I? I'll say it again: I was very angry with him. "Hello, my name is Mr. Lewis, I am very angry with my father."
Vivian: I would've been angry at the ten thousand dollars.
. . .
Vivian: Did I mention... my leg is 44 inches from hip to toe, so basically, we're talkin' about...
[She wraps her legs around Edward.]
Vivian: ... 88 inches of therapy... wrapped around you, for the bargain price of...
Edward, Vivian: [in unison] ... three thousand dollars!
Vivian: I would've been angry at the ten thousand dollars.
. . .
Vivian: Did I mention... my leg is 44 inches from hip to toe, so basically, we're talkin' about...
[She wraps her legs around Edward.]
Vivian: ... 88 inches of therapy... wrapped around you, for the bargain price of...
Edward, Vivian: [in unison] ... three thousand dollars!
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Gretchen: Edward's our most eligible bachelor. Everybody is trying to land him.
Vivian: Well, I'm not trying to land him. I'm just using him for sex.
Vivian: Well, I'm not trying to land him. I'm just using him for sex.
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Elizabeth Stuckey: '[about Vivian] She's sweet, Edward! Wherever did you find her?
Edward: 976-BABE.
Edward: 976-BABE.
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Vivian: People put you down enough, you start to believe it.
Edward: I think you... are a very bright, very special woman.
Vivian: The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?
Edward: I think you... are a very bright, very special woman.
Vivian: The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?
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Matron: Did you enjoy the opera, dear?
Vivian: Oh, it was so good, I almost peed my pants!
[Vivian walks off.]
Matron: Wha—?
Edward: She said she liked it better than The Pirates of Penzance.
Vivian: Oh, it was so good, I almost peed my pants!
[Vivian walks off.]
Matron: Wha—?
Edward: She said she liked it better than The Pirates of Penzance.
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[Edward offers Vivian a condo, car, and a shopping allowance.]
Vivian: What else? You going to leave some money by the bed when you pass through town?
Edward: Vivian, it really wouldn't be like that.
Vivian: How would it be?
Edward: Well, for one thing, it would get you off the streets.
Vivian: That's just geography.
Edward: Vivian, what is it you want? What do you see happening between us?
Vivian: I don't know. When I was a little girl, my mama used to lock me in the attic when I was bad, which was pretty often. And I would... I would pretend I was a princess, trapped in the tower by a wicked queen. And then suddenly, this knight, on a white horse, with these colors flying, would come charging up and draw his sword... and I would wave, and he would climb up the tower, and rescue me. But never in all the time... that I had this dream... did the knight say to me, "Come on, baby, I'll put you up in a great condo."
. . .
Edward: I've never treated you like a prostitute.
[He walks away.]
Vivian: You just did.
Vivian: What else? You going to leave some money by the bed when you pass through town?
Edward: Vivian, it really wouldn't be like that.
Vivian: How would it be?
Edward: Well, for one thing, it would get you off the streets.
Vivian: That's just geography.
Edward: Vivian, what is it you want? What do you see happening between us?
Vivian: I don't know. When I was a little girl, my mama used to lock me in the attic when I was bad, which was pretty often. And I would... I would pretend I was a princess, trapped in the tower by a wicked queen. And then suddenly, this knight, on a white horse, with these colors flying, would come charging up and draw his sword... and I would wave, and he would climb up the tower, and rescue me. But never in all the time... that I had this dream... did the knight say to me, "Come on, baby, I'll put you up in a great condo."
. . .
Edward: I've never treated you like a prostitute.
[He walks away.]
Vivian: You just did.
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Kit: Maybe you guys could, like, um... you know, get a house together, and like, buy some diamonds, and a horse — I don't know. Anyway... it could work! It happens!
Vivian: When does it happen, Kit?
. . .
Vivian: I just wanna know who it works out for. You give me one example of somebody that we know that it happened for.
[They start talking over each other.]
Kit: Name someone? You want me to name someone?
Vivian: Yeah, you know a person that it's worked for.
Kit: You want me to, like, give you a name, or something?
Vivian: Yeah, I'd like a name.
Kit: Oh, God, the pressure of a name... Cinde-****ing-rella!
Vivian: When does it happen, Kit?
. . .
Vivian: I just wanna know who it works out for. You give me one example of somebody that we know that it happened for.
[They start talking over each other.]
Kit: Name someone? You want me to name someone?
Vivian: Yeah, you know a person that it's worked for.
Kit: You want me to, like, give you a name, or something?
Vivian: Yeah, I'd like a name.
Kit: Oh, God, the pressure of a name... Cinde-****ing-rella!
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Edward: So what happened after he climbed up the tower and rescued her?
Vivian: She rescues him right back.
Vivian: She rescues him right back.