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(voiceover) Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it 'cause nobody else will. Like when someone comes into your life and half of you says: "You're nowhere near ready". And the other half says: "Make her yours forever". Michael, Caroline asked me what would I say if I knew you could hear me. I said: "I do know. I love you. God, I miss you, and I forgive you".
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He can stand me up, but he can’t stand you up. And he can't stand my little sister up.
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It’s ok, It’s ok, It’s ok.
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She’s supposed to be back. She is not back.
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That’s why chicks dig you out, man. They love this freaky poetic crap.
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When was the last time you had one drink?
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You do know that interventions typically don't involve binge drinking?
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You give me the word and I will steal their bikes.
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You’ve been a ghost past couple weeks, alright? You don’t want to go out anymore. I’ve had enough of this introvert shit, ok? I’m ready to set up an intervention here!
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[In jail] It must be nice living at the bookstore, by yourself, with all your stacks of books. But, you see, I actually plan on having a career, and a wife, and a girlfriend, and a... and a divorce, and a mid-life stalking episode, and an erectile dysfunction.
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[to Ally] He's in love with you. I've only ever seen him look at one other girl the way he looks at you, and she's a lot shorter and shares his DNA.