Rogue quotes

View Quote Everett: [after the tour is disrupted by Neil] We'd like to get on with our tour.
Neil: **** me, it's John ****ing Wayne! This is the tour, John.

View Quote Kate: What did you think of the tour?
Pete: I was thinking I'm probably going to be spending more time at home.
Kate: Thanks.

View Quote Neil: What the **** you gawkin' at at, four eyes?
Pete: I don't know. I got the brochure, but it didn't say anything about assholes.

View Quote Pete: [swatting away flies] Jesus, anyone complain about the flies yet?
Kate: That was your one shot.
Pete: That wasn't a complaint. That was a question.

View Quote Simon: Do you have many attacks on people?
Kate: Tourists, occasionally.

View Quote [after getting rid of Neil] Sorry about that, folks. As you can see, human pollution is one of the greatest threats to the environment out here.

View Quote Alright, the species we're looking at today, the saltwater crocodile, is probably the most dangerous member of the crocodilian family. They're pretty much living dinosaurs who have been perfecting their hunting skills over two hundred million years. So they can swim underwater up to 20 miles an hour without making a ripple on the surface. And they can burst out to attack with incredible speed. They're also known to watch their prey and learn their habits. In fact, you can see this bloke looking at us now. So if any of you are camping up here, near a river, and you need to get water, make sure to do so at a different time every day because the croc will learn your routine. You might want to avoid that. A croc gets ahold of you and it can't swallow you in one go, he will surely tear you into pieces.

View Quote I just saw a man get eaten by a ****ing crocodile. This is not what I do, alright. You know what I do? I write stupid articles about hotels, restaurants, and resorts. Not about the Australian Outback. And by the way, I ****ing hate animals, especially ones that can kill you! [pause] Speaking of which, I'm going to kill my ****ing editor when I get home.

View Quote Northern territory is home to the biggest population of salt water crocodiles in the world, spread throughout seven large tunnel systems. State covers the land mass double the size of Texas, but we have a population of only 200,000 people. As you can imagine, we all have pretty big backyards.

View Quote One of the rules of my tour is that you have only one chance to complain about the heat and flies. They are a fact of life up here and whinging about them all day isn't going to make them disappear.

View Quote The tide is moving in quick and people are falling apart. We've got to do something. Now.