Other quotes
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[While Carter is running up the stairs to the roof] Old lady: Move aside, Kobe.
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Kenny: Why are you hanging with 7-11 there?
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Lee: Just try to blend in.
Carter: What do you mean, "blend in"? I'm two feet taller than everybody in here!
Carter: What do you mean, "blend in"? I'm two feet taller than everybody in here!
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Lee: You are a civilian. In Hong Kong, I am Michael Jackson and you are Toto.
Carter: You mean Tito! Toto is what we ate last night for dinner, now give me that badge!
Carter: You mean Tito! Toto is what we ate last night for dinner, now give me that badge!
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Versace Salesman: Hi, nice to see you. Can I help you gentlemen?
Carter Yeah. I'm gonna need black, 42-long, and nothing touches this body but pure silk. And get my partner something from the kid's department.
Versace Salesman: OK, would your partner like to be wrapped in silk too? Some people think it's tacky, but I really enjoy it when couples dress alike.
Carter: No - wait a minute - no! This aint no couples thing, man. We're police officers; we're working a very dangerous case and we need some clothes.
Lee: Yes, there are alot of men chasing us.
Versace Salesman: As well they should be. Listen, you have nothing to worry about, OK? Because I'm going to turn you two into the belle of the ball.
Lee: Thank you.
Versace Salesman: Absolutley. [to Carter] Let's start with you, shall we? You've got the mochachino face, beautiful skin, and the bring broad shoulders, OK? Let's put a dead animal on you! Croc-skin... buttercream... buttercream... croc-skin... buttercream...What size is the waist? Let's go in! [approaches Carter with open arms]
Carter: Hey! Watch it, sweetness!
Versace Salesman: He's got some fire to him!
Carter: Honeycups!
Versace Salesman: I like that!
Carter: Go get the clothes! Hurry up!
Versace Salesman: I'll go pull some items. Oh, Jesus! Lil' Kim! I'll be back.
Carter Yeah. I'm gonna need black, 42-long, and nothing touches this body but pure silk. And get my partner something from the kid's department.
Versace Salesman: OK, would your partner like to be wrapped in silk too? Some people think it's tacky, but I really enjoy it when couples dress alike.
Carter: No - wait a minute - no! This aint no couples thing, man. We're police officers; we're working a very dangerous case and we need some clothes.
Lee: Yes, there are alot of men chasing us.
Versace Salesman: As well they should be. Listen, you have nothing to worry about, OK? Because I'm going to turn you two into the belle of the ball.
Lee: Thank you.
Versace Salesman: Absolutley. [to Carter] Let's start with you, shall we? You've got the mochachino face, beautiful skin, and the bring broad shoulders, OK? Let's put a dead animal on you! Croc-skin... buttercream... buttercream... croc-skin... buttercream...What size is the waist? Let's go in! [approaches Carter with open arms]
Carter: Hey! Watch it, sweetness!
Versace Salesman: He's got some fire to him!
Carter: Honeycups!
Versace Salesman: I like that!
Carter: Go get the clothes! Hurry up!
Versace Salesman: I'll go pull some items. Oh, Jesus! Lil' Kim! I'll be back.
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Carter: [Attempting to speak Cantonese but having no idea of what he said] What did I just say?
Lee: You just asked everybody to pick up their Samurai Swords and shave your butt!
Carter: I said that?
Lee: You just asked everybody to pick up their Samurai Swords and shave your butt!
Carter: I said that?
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[During a fight scene with Ricky Tan's Chinese thugs]
Carter: [after accidentally punching Lee] Sorry, man!
Lee: [Holds nose painfully] Carter!
Carter: Ah y'all look alike!
Carter: [after accidentally punching Lee] Sorry, man!
Lee: [Holds nose painfully] Carter!
Carter: Ah y'all look alike!
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Carter: Hey, baby. James Carter, Baldwin Hills.
Isabella Molina: Isabella Molina, San Juan.
Carter: San Juan! I've been there many times on my private plane. You must know my good friend Pedro Morales Magonzales Morotto Malosso Megusto.
Isabella: No, I'm afraid not.
Carter: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you rode in the best of circles. If you need anything, champagne, caviar, my yacht is your yacht.
Isabella: This is your yacht?
Carter: I'm the captain. El capitan.
Isabella: El capitan....
Carter Look, I'm not gonna play games with you. I want you. I can imagine me and you in one of those bathrooms in about five minutes.
Isabella: Oh, it's such a beautiful yacht. What's it name?
Carter: Its name? [Isabella nods] The S.S. Minnow Johnson.
Isabella: The S.S. Minnow Johnson? Funny. The name on the back was the Red Dragon.
Carter: The Red Dragon?
Isabella Yes. Because this is my friend's yacht. And this is his party.
Carter Your's friend yacht? Man, no wonder my key didn't work. All these yachts look all the same these days.
Steven Reign: Who's your friend?
Isabella: Someone who got on the wrong yacht.
Carter: Hey I know you, you're Steven Reign, the hotel billionaire. You must have a private plane as well. What are you doing out here in Hong Kong?
Reign: I'm here for the weekend, takking in the sights. [looks at Isabella] Shall we?
Isabella: [gets up to slow-dance with Reign] Enjoy the party, Mr. Carter.
Carter: I will, Miss Isabella.
Isabella Molina: Isabella Molina, San Juan.
Carter: San Juan! I've been there many times on my private plane. You must know my good friend Pedro Morales Magonzales Morotto Malosso Megusto.
Isabella: No, I'm afraid not.
Carter: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you rode in the best of circles. If you need anything, champagne, caviar, my yacht is your yacht.
Isabella: This is your yacht?
Carter: I'm the captain. El capitan.
Isabella: El capitan....
Carter Look, I'm not gonna play games with you. I want you. I can imagine me and you in one of those bathrooms in about five minutes.
Isabella: Oh, it's such a beautiful yacht. What's it name?
Carter: Its name? [Isabella nods] The S.S. Minnow Johnson.
Isabella: The S.S. Minnow Johnson? Funny. The name on the back was the Red Dragon.
Carter: The Red Dragon?
Isabella Yes. Because this is my friend's yacht. And this is his party.
Carter Your's friend yacht? Man, no wonder my key didn't work. All these yachts look all the same these days.
Steven Reign: Who's your friend?
Isabella: Someone who got on the wrong yacht.
Carter: Hey I know you, you're Steven Reign, the hotel billionaire. You must have a private plane as well. What are you doing out here in Hong Kong?
Reign: I'm here for the weekend, takking in the sights. [looks at Isabella] Shall we?
Isabella: [gets up to slow-dance with Reign] Enjoy the party, Mr. Carter.
Carter: I will, Miss Isabella.
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[Lee holds up an employee of Ricky Tan and questions him]
Lee: Ricky Tan, where is he!?
Employee: I don't know!
Lee: He killed a detective today! Now where is he!?
Carter: Who died man?
Lee: [Turns and is shocked] Carter!
Carter: Who died Lee?
Lee: YOU!
Carter: Detective Yu?
Lee: Not Yu, you!
Carter: Who?
Lee: You!
Carter: Who?
Lee: Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth!?
Carter: Naw don't nobody understand the words that are comin' out of your mouth!
Lee: Ricky Tan, where is he!?
Employee: I don't know!
Lee: He killed a detective today! Now where is he!?
Carter: Who died man?
Lee: [Turns and is shocked] Carter!
Carter: Who died Lee?
Lee: YOU!
Carter: Detective Yu?
Lee: Not Yu, you!
Carter: Who?
Lee: You!
Carter: Who?
Lee: Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth!?
Carter: Naw don't nobody understand the words that are comin' out of your mouth!
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Carter: Lee, let me introduce you to Carter's Theory of Criminal Investigation: follow the rich white man!
Lee: Follow the rich white man?
Carter: Exactly, now you're learning. Every big crime has a rich white man waitin' for his cut. Now, in our case we know who the rich white man is. Steven Reign!
Lee: Who?
Carter: Steven Reign, the hotel billionaire, I saw him on Ricky Tan's boat. When the shootin' started he was way too cool. Now lemme tell you somethin', when shootin' starts, white people ain't that cool. They either runnin' around hidin' behind tables or screaming like, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Lee: You sound like that all the time!
Carter: Let me tell you something about black people: When things go down, we keep our cool.
Lee: Maybe, but not like us Asians. We never panic.
Carter: Man when Godzilla comes y'all be trippin'. I've seen the movie, everyone goin' "gaicka, gaicka"!
Lee: Follow the rich white man?
Carter: Exactly, now you're learning. Every big crime has a rich white man waitin' for his cut. Now, in our case we know who the rich white man is. Steven Reign!
Lee: Who?
Carter: Steven Reign, the hotel billionaire, I saw him on Ricky Tan's boat. When the shootin' started he was way too cool. Now lemme tell you somethin', when shootin' starts, white people ain't that cool. They either runnin' around hidin' behind tables or screaming like, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Lee: You sound like that all the time!
Carter: Let me tell you something about black people: When things go down, we keep our cool.
Lee: Maybe, but not like us Asians. We never panic.
Carter: Man when Godzilla comes y'all be trippin'. I've seen the movie, everyone goin' "gaicka, gaicka"!
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[on top of the hotel roof, Lee is holding a "bomb"]
Carter: Throw it!
Lee: No! There is people down there!
Carter: Lee! Throw it!
Lee: Carter!
Carter: Lee!
Lee: Carter!
Carter: LEE!
Lee: CARTER!
Carter: Throw it!
Lee: No!
Lee: No! There is people down there!
Carter: Lee! Throw it!
Lee: Carter!
Carter: Lee!
Lee: Carter!
Carter: LEE!
Lee: CARTER!
Carter: Throw it!
Lee: No!
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Kenny: [pointing to Carter and speaking Chinese] Why are you hanging with 7-11?
Lee: 7-11?
Kenny: Because his mouth never closes.
Carter: Hey! I heard that, I heard that. Don't be talkin' about me man.
Lee: 7-11?
Kenny: Because his mouth never closes.
Carter: Hey! I heard that, I heard that. Don't be talkin' about me man.
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Carter: There he is: Steven Reign. Living large in one of his penthouse suites. [Isabella walks in to Reign's room] That's her. That's the woman on Ricky Tan's boat. [hands the periscope to Lee]
Lee: He's leaving.
Carter: Oh, he'll be back.
Lee: How do you know?
Carter: You see how fine that woman is. He'll definitely be back. (lies down in bed)
[Lee notices Isabella taking off her bathrobe] Carter: What's going on?
Lee: She.... uh.... is just standing around, not doing much.
Carter: Well stay awake, something bound to happen.
Lee: I try to stay awake...this is so boring. [While watching Isabella undress, whispers] Slow down baby....
Carter: What did you say?
Lee: Huh? Uh.... I said nothing!
Carter: You said something!
Lee: No, no, nothing.
[Carter notices Lee's shifting] Carter: [gets up from bed] What is going on Lee?
Lee: She's.... getting undressed!
Carter: What?
Lee: She's getting undressed!
[Carter struggles with Lee to grab the periscope] Lee: Hey! It's.... not-
Carter: LORD, HAVE MERCY! She's taking off her skirt!
Lee: I cannot hear this! [walks away]
Carter: Black bra, black panties, Victoria's Secret, spring catalogue, page 27. Girl's got class. [zooms in] She got a tattoo, that's cute. It looks like.... Snoopy.
Lee: Snoopy! I love Snoopy! [Tries to grab periscope]
Carter: I love Snoopy too, hold on. [Isabella opens the door for a delivery woman] Hey, that's the same person that dropped off the package at your office.
Lee and Carter: It's a bomb!
Lee: He's leaving.
Carter: Oh, he'll be back.
Lee: How do you know?
Carter: You see how fine that woman is. He'll definitely be back. (lies down in bed)
[Lee notices Isabella taking off her bathrobe] Carter: What's going on?
Lee: She.... uh.... is just standing around, not doing much.
Carter: Well stay awake, something bound to happen.
Lee: I try to stay awake...this is so boring. [While watching Isabella undress, whispers] Slow down baby....
Carter: What did you say?
Lee: Huh? Uh.... I said nothing!
Carter: You said something!
Lee: No, no, nothing.
[Carter notices Lee's shifting] Carter: [gets up from bed] What is going on Lee?
Lee: She's.... getting undressed!
Carter: What?
Lee: She's getting undressed!
[Carter struggles with Lee to grab the periscope] Lee: Hey! It's.... not-
Carter: LORD, HAVE MERCY! She's taking off her skirt!
Lee: I cannot hear this! [walks away]
Carter: Black bra, black panties, Victoria's Secret, spring catalogue, page 27. Girl's got class. [zooms in] She got a tattoo, that's cute. It looks like.... Snoopy.
Lee: Snoopy! I love Snoopy! [Tries to grab periscope]
Carter: I love Snoopy too, hold on. [Isabella opens the door for a delivery woman] Hey, that's the same person that dropped off the package at your office.
Lee and Carter: It's a bomb!
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Carter: Now why'd you go and say it was a bomb?
Lee: I didn't, you did.
Carter: No I didn't!
Lee: Yes, you did!
Carter: I said she was da bomb.
Lee: She was the bomb?
Lee: I didn't, you did.
Carter: No I didn't!
Lee: Yes, you did!
Carter: I said she was da bomb.
Lee: She was the bomb?
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Carter: Secret Service Agent James Carter! Boy that sounds good! Give me six months, SIX MONTHS, Lee, and I'll be up in Washington protecting the President.
Lee: Everyone knows you would never take a bullet for someone else.
Carter: Yeah, but they don't know that. Did you see the way she was looking at me brother?
Lee: She never even looked at you!
Carter: Don't be jealous, Lee. The girl chose me. 'Cause I'm tall, dark, and handsome and you third-world ugly.
Lee: I'm not third-world ugly. Women like me. They think I'm cute, like Snoopy.
Carter: Lee, Snoopy is six inches taller than you.
Lee: Everyone knows you would never take a bullet for someone else.
Carter: Yeah, but they don't know that. Did you see the way she was looking at me brother?
Lee: She never even looked at you!
Carter: Don't be jealous, Lee. The girl chose me. 'Cause I'm tall, dark, and handsome and you third-world ugly.
Lee: I'm not third-world ugly. Women like me. They think I'm cute, like Snoopy.
Carter: Lee, Snoopy is six inches taller than you.
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Carter: All right Lee.... tell me how they gonna kill us?
Lee: First they will torture us for three days-
Carter: I can handle that!
Lee: Then they will cut off our egg rolls
Carter: Cut off our egg rolls?! Aw hell no! Don't give up!
Lee: First they will torture us for three days-
Carter: I can handle that!
Lee: Then they will cut off our egg rolls
Carter: Cut off our egg rolls?! Aw hell no! Don't give up!
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Carter: Whoa whoa whoa. Why are you giving me 500 dollar chips.
Dealer: I just assumed-
Carter: You assumed that a brother coming in here couldn't afford 1000 dollar chips. Do you think my ancestors suffered 362 years of slavery so we could get sent back to the cotton field with 500 dollar chips. Are you a racist?
Dealer: No sir, I'm not.
Pit Boss: Sir, why don't you calm down and win some money?
Carter: Why don't you go over there and count something.
Dealer: I just assumed-
Carter: You assumed that a brother coming in here couldn't afford 1000 dollar chips. Do you think my ancestors suffered 362 years of slavery so we could get sent back to the cotton field with 500 dollar chips. Are you a racist?
Dealer: No sir, I'm not.
Pit Boss: Sir, why don't you calm down and win some money?
Carter: Why don't you go over there and count something.
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Carter: How come you ain't got no black people performing in this casino? We ain't good enough for you?
Pit Boss: We got Lionel Richie performing here tonight!
Carter: Lionel Richie ain't been black since the Commodores! How about Peaches and Herb? Gladis Knight and the Pimps? Ike and Tina? They can get back together, this is crazy-
Pit Boss: Sir, please calm down.
Carter: [with hands wailing manically in the air] I'm sick, you tryin' to calm me down. Why don't you calm down? Get your hands off me!
Pit Boss: We got Lionel Richie performing here tonight!
Carter: Lionel Richie ain't been black since the Commodores! How about Peaches and Herb? Gladis Knight and the Pimps? Ike and Tina? They can get back together, this is crazy-
Pit Boss: Sir, please calm down.
Carter: [with hands wailing manically in the air] I'm sick, you tryin' to calm me down. Why don't you calm down? Get your hands off me!
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Carter: [to Hu-Li] All right, I ain't gonna hold back this time 'cause you're a girl. I'll just pretend you're a man.... a very beautiful man with a perfect body, who I'd like to take to the movies.
Carter: [to Hu-Li after she's knocked out] We coulda been a good couple.... but you one crazy-ass bitch!
Carter: [to Hu-Li after she's knocked out] We coulda been a good couple.... but you one crazy-ass bitch!
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[In the penthouse, Lee has a gun pointed at Ricky Tan's Head]
Ricky Tan: Would you like me to tell you how your father died? [Lee ****s the gun]
Carter: Whoa, now, Lee. He ain't worth it man. He tryin' to mess with you. Don't do it.
Ricky Tan: He never begged for his life, or tried to make a deal.
Carter: Put the gun down.
Ricky Tan: All he asked for, seconds before I pulled the trigger, was that I promised not to kill you. Oh, it was so pathetic.
Carter Aw, hell no, he done gone too far. You better shoot his ass, Lee, shoot his ASS!
Ricky Tan: What are you going to do, Lee? [Lee's face is showing hesitation]
Carter: All you gotta do is pull that trigger back and BAM!!!
Ricky Tan: Are you going to spend the rest of your life hiding like your father?
Carter: Don't let him talk about your daddy like that! Shoot him, Lee!
Ricky Tan: You can't do it, can you?
Carter: Oh, yes the hell he can! Ain't nobody up here but us!
Ricky Tan: GO ON!
Carter: If you ain't gonna shoot him, kung-fu his ass or somethin'!
Lee: CARTER!
Ricky Tan: Would you like me to tell you how your father died? [Lee ****s the gun]
Carter: Whoa, now, Lee. He ain't worth it man. He tryin' to mess with you. Don't do it.
Ricky Tan: He never begged for his life, or tried to make a deal.
Carter: Put the gun down.
Ricky Tan: All he asked for, seconds before I pulled the trigger, was that I promised not to kill you. Oh, it was so pathetic.
Carter Aw, hell no, he done gone too far. You better shoot his ass, Lee, shoot his ASS!
Ricky Tan: What are you going to do, Lee? [Lee's face is showing hesitation]
Carter: All you gotta do is pull that trigger back and BAM!!!
Ricky Tan: Are you going to spend the rest of your life hiding like your father?
Carter: Don't let him talk about your daddy like that! Shoot him, Lee!
Ricky Tan: You can't do it, can you?
Carter: Oh, yes the hell he can! Ain't nobody up here but us!
Ricky Tan: GO ON!
Carter: If you ain't gonna shoot him, kung-fu his ass or somethin'!
Lee: CARTER!
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[After kicking Ricky Tan out of the window]
Carter: Damn! Good kick, Lee.
Lee: It was an accident.
Carter: Aw, well, we'll just say he tried to catch a cab.
Carter: Damn! Good kick, Lee.
Lee: It was an accident.
Carter: Aw, well, we'll just say he tried to catch a cab.
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[During the credit bloopers after Jackie kicks Ricky out the window]
Carter: Damn! He ain't going to be in Rush Hour 3!
Carter: Damn! He ain't going to be in Rush Hour 3!
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[During the bloopers]
Tucker: You sly devil, you. She kissed you, didn't she- [Cell phone rings] Ahh!
Chan: Who's calling?
Tucker: Hello? [Rings still, Tucker presses talk button again]
Chan: Say hello to your father!
Tucker: Hello? .... I'm filming man.... Call me back!
Chan: [Surprised and a little mad]
Tucker:[On phone] I'm filming, I'm looking at Jackie Chan dead in his eye! Call me back at seven o'clock! Call me back!
Chan: Are you a professional? we are filming and you turn on your phone!?
Tucker: [Still on phone] No, you can't speak to Jackie Chan! [Extras and crew laugh in background]
Tucker: Look just...[Hands Jackie phone embarrassingly]) I'm sorry man.
Chan: Hello? We are filming right now! [Background laughter rises, Tucker apologizes continuously].... You sorry! .... You waste our film!
Tucker: [Takes phone back] Call me tonight, seven o'clock! [Shuts phone off and walks off camera; Jackie looks at the camera shaking his head]
Director: [Laughing with others] CUT!
Tucker: You sly devil, you. She kissed you, didn't she- [Cell phone rings] Ahh!
Chan: Who's calling?
Tucker: Hello? [Rings still, Tucker presses talk button again]
Chan: Say hello to your father!
Tucker: Hello? .... I'm filming man.... Call me back!
Chan: [Surprised and a little mad]
Tucker:[On phone] I'm filming, I'm looking at Jackie Chan dead in his eye! Call me back at seven o'clock! Call me back!
Chan: Are you a professional? we are filming and you turn on your phone!?
Tucker: [Still on phone] No, you can't speak to Jackie Chan! [Extras and crew laugh in background]
Tucker: Look just...[Hands Jackie phone embarrassingly]) I'm sorry man.
Chan: Hello? We are filming right now! [Background laughter rises, Tucker apologizes continuously].... You sorry! .... You waste our film!
Tucker: [Takes phone back] Call me tonight, seven o'clock! [Shuts phone off and walks off camera; Jackie looks at the camera shaking his head]
Director: [Laughing with others] CUT!
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[After a ping tao grenade Lee spits out blows up]
Carter: Why the HELL didn't you tell me you had a bomb in your mouth?!
Lee: I did!
Carter: No! You didn't!
Lee: I said, "Mmm!"
Carter: What the hell is "Mmm"?
Lee: Mmm, boom!
Carter: Why the HELL didn't you tell me you had a bomb in your mouth?!
Lee: I did!
Carter: No! You didn't!
Lee: I said, "Mmm!"
Carter: What the hell is "Mmm"?
Lee: Mmm, boom!