Serenity quotes

View Quote Mal: Kaylee! Kaylee, what in the sphincter of hell are you playing at? We got the primary buffer panel coming right—
Kaylee: Everything's shiny, Captain. Not to fret.
Mal: You told me those entry couplings would hold for another week!
Kaylee: That was six months ago, Captain.
Mal: My ship don't crash. If she crashes, you crashed her.

View Quote Mal: Listen up! We are coming down to empty the vault!
Guard: You have to give me your authorization password!
[Jayne fires a couple of rounds of his gun]
Guard: ...Okay.

View Quote Mal: She is a mite unpredictable. Mood swings, of a sort.
The Operative: It's worse than you know.
Mal: It usually is.
The Operative: That girl will rain destruction down on you and your ship. She is an albatross, Captain.
Mal: The way I remember it, albatross was a ship's good luck, 'til some idiot killed it. [to Inara] Yes, I've read a poem. Try not to faint.

View Quote Mal: Taking her out, should be about a day's ride to get you back to your girls.
Inara: Right.
Mal: Ready to get off this heap, back to civilized life?
Inara: I, uh... I don't know.
Mal: [Smiles] Good answer.

View Quote Mal: This report is maybe twelve years old. Parliament buried it, and it stayed buried till River dug it up. This is what they feared she knew. And they were right to fear, because there's a whole universe of folk who are gonna know it, too. They're gonna see it. Somebody has to speak for these people. You all got on this boat for different reasons, but you all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything I know this, they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, ten, they'll swing back to the belief that they can make people…better. And I do not hold to that. So no more running. I aim to misbehave.
Jayne: Shepherd Book used to tell me, "If you can't do somethin' smart... do somethin' right."

View Quote Mal: You shot me in the back! I haven't made you angry, have I?
The Operative: There are a lot of innocent people in the air being killed right now.
Mal: You have no idea how true that is. I know the secret. The truth that burned up River Tam's brain. Rest of the 'verse is going to know it too. 'Cause they need to.
The Operative: Do you really believe that?
Mal: I do.
The Operative: You willing to die for that belief?
Mal: I am.
[The Operative nods and begin to pull out his gun, but Mal draws first and shoots the gun out of his hand and backs the Operative into a corner.]
Mal: 'course, that ain't exactly Plan A.

View Quote Simon: I thought she was getting better.
Jayne: And I thought they was getting off! Didn't we have an intricate plan how they were gonna be not here anymore?
Kaylee: We couldn't leave them now.
Jayne: No, now that she’s a killer woman, we ought be bringing her tea and dumplings.

View Quote Simon: My one regret in all of this is never being with you.
Kaylee: With me? You mean to say as...[hopeful] sex?
Simon: [nods] I mean to say...
Kaylee: [****s her gun] Hell with this! I'm gonna live!

View Quote Simon: Now River, stay behind the others. If there’s fighting, drop to the floor or run away. It’s okay to leave them to die.
Mal: Doctor, I'm taking your sister under my protection here. If anything happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you I will get very choked up. Honestly, there could tears. [Drives off]

View Quote Simon: River, do you want to stay with them?
River: It isn't safe.
Simon: No. I fear it isn't safe anymore. [Walks off]
River: For them.

View Quote The Operative: But I have to hope you understand you can't beat us.
Mal: I got no need to beat you. I just want to go my way.
The Operative: And you can do that, once you let me take River Tam back home.
Mal: No, no. You’re working this deal all crabbed. You got to open with payment.
The Operative: That is a trap. I offer money, you'll play the man of honor and take umbrage. I ask you to do what is right, you'll play the brigand. I have no stomach for games. I already know you will not see reason.
Mal: The Alliance wanted to show me reason, they shouldn't have sent an assassin.
The Operative: I have a warship in deep orbit, Captain. We locked onto Serenity's pulse beacon the moment you hit atmo. I can speak a word and send a missile to that exact location inside of three minutes.
Mal: You do that, you'd best make peace with your dear and fluffy lord.
[Mal tosses a mechanism to the Operative, who catches it and immediately recognizes what it is]
The Operative: Pulse beacon.
Mal: Advice from an old tracker. You want to find someone? Use your eyes.

View Quote The Operative: Do you know what your sin is, Doctor?
Dr. Mathias: I wonder if—
The Operative: It's pride.
[Rewinds the scan]
Dr. Mathias: [in the scan] Key members of Parliament have personally observed this subject. I was told that the Alliance's support—
The Operative: “Key members of Parliament.” Key. The minds behind every military, diplomatic, and covert operation in the galaxy, and you put them in a room with a psychic.
Dr. Mathias: If there was some classified information that she... She never spoke of it. I don't know what it is.
The Operative: Nor do I. And judging by her deteriorating mental state, I'd say we're both better off. Secrets are not my concern. Keeping them is.
Dr. Mathias: Whatever secrets she might have accidentally gleaned, it's probable she doesn't even know she knows them. That they're buried beneath layers of psychosis.
The Operative: You know, in certain older civilized cultures when men failed as entirely as you have, they would throw themselves on their swords.
Dr. Mathias: Well, unfortunately, I forgot to bring a sword—
[The Operative pulls out a sword and slowly turns to him]
Dr. Mathias: I would put that down right now, if I were you.
The Operative: [Hold the handle of the sword out to him] Would you be killed in your sleep like an ailing pet?

View Quote The Operative: Do you know what your sin is, Mal?
Mal: Ah, hell, I'm a fan of all seven. But right now, I'm gonna have to go with wrath.

View Quote The Operative: How long do you think you can really run from us?
Mal: I never credited the Alliance with an overabundance of brains. And if you're the best they got—
The Operative: Captain Reynolds, I should tell you, so that you don’t waste your time - you can't make me angry.
Inara: Please, spend an hour with him.

View Quote The Operative: I want to resolve this like civilized men. I'm not threatening you. I'm unarmed-
Mal: Good.
[Mal draws his gun and shoots the Operative in the chest. He attempts to exit, only for the Operative to grab him from behind]
The Operative: I am of course wearing full body armour. I am not a moron.