Serial Mom quotes

View Quote Chip Sutphin: [in response to Misty telling the family about her new love interest] You sure can pick 'em.

View Quote Detective: Proceed with caution; she is armed. And ****in' nuts!

View Quote Emma Lou Jenson: [talking to her dog] Come on, lick Mommy's feet. Get 'em all wet!

View Quote Eugene Sutphin: [during sex with Beverly] Oh honey, you are hot tonight!

View Quote Marvin Pickles: There was a lady in the men's room, I swear! A pretty little lady, in the stall right next to me!

View Quote Misty Sutphin: Chip! Our mother is Charles Manson!

View Quote Police woman: Bingo boys, bust the bitch.

View Quote Ralph Sterner: [while having teeth drilled] Help me Betty! He's worse than the dentist in the Marathon Man!

View Quote Beverly: Mrs. Hinkle, do you drink?
Dottie Hinkle: No, I don't.
Beverly: So you weren't drunk when you received those alleged obscene phone calls?
Dottie Hinkle: I certainly was not.
Beverly: You mean to tell me the day I came over to Mrs. Ackerman's, the day you claim you recognized my voice, you weren't drinking?
Dottie Hinkle: One beer with lunch is hardly drinking.
Beverly: So you do drink?
Dottie Hinkle: Socially. I'll have a beer.
Beverly: So you admit you just lied?
Dottie Hinkle: No I don't, you bitch!
Judge: Watch your mouth, Mrs. Hinkle.
[Beverly whispers "**** you" to Dottie]
Dottie Hinkle: Did you see her?! She just said "**** you" to me!
Beverly: Let the record show I'm merely standing here!
Dottie Hinkle: **** you too, you whore!
Judge: I'm warning you, Mrs. Hinkle. One more obscenity and I'll charge you with contempt of court.
Beverly: Mrs. Hinkle, are you insane?
Dottie Hinkle: No I'm not, you mother ****er!

View Quote Beverly: You can't wear white shoes after Labor Day!
Juror #8: That's not true anymore.
Beverly: Yes it is! Didn't your mother tell you?
Juror #8: No! Please! Fashion has changed!
Beverly: No, it hasn't.

View Quote Birdie: You're bigger than Freddy and Jason now! Only you're a real person!
Beverly: Do you think I need a lawyer?
Chip: You need an agent!

View Quote Chip: Hey dad, have you ever seen Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer?
Eugene: I most certainly have not!

View Quote Chip: Is there a killer loose?!
Detective Pike: No son, nothing that exciting.

View Quote Chip: So happy I could shit.
Beverly: Chip! You know how I hate the brown word.

View Quote Chip: Tell me the truth, Mom. Really, it's okay with me. Are you a serial killer?
Beverly: Chip, the only serial I know anything about is Rice Krispies!