Sexy Beast quotes

View Quote Aitch: Look, with this pill, they say you take it and that's it. Your hair don't grow, you don't go bald, it stays the same. You have your hair cut once, in whatever style you want, and it stays like that for the rest of your natural life. It's completely revolutionary.
Jackie: What if you get fed up with your style, you berk?
Aitch: Ahh... Well, that's where the antidote comes in. The whole process is reversible. You just take a different pill. Now, I'm not saying this is gonna happen next year but it will happen, it's definitely coming. Hairdressers are shitting themselves.
Jackie: [cracking up laughing] Shut up!
Aitch: They did a test with three monkeys, right? Gave 'em all a Beatles-style haircut. They've been living with that cut for the past two years. And apparently, they're very happy with it.

View Quote Don: [Barely alive] I ****ed Jackie. ****ed her. Ask her, she'll tell you. I ****ed her.
Aitch: Yeah, well I've ****ed you now, haven't I?
[crushes Don's head with a rock]

View Quote Don: Talk to me, Gal. I'm here for you. I'm a good listener.
Gal: What can I say, Don? I've said it all. I'm retired.
Don: Shut up.

View Quote Gal: I'd be useless.
Don: Useless?
Gal: I would be.
Don: In what way?
Gal: In every ****ing way.
Don: Why are you swearing? I'm not swearing.

View Quote Gal: No!
Don: Yes!
Gal: No!
Don: Yes!
Gal: No!
Don: Fat ****!
Gal: No, No, No!
Don: Yes, Yes, Yes!

View Quote [raising his glass] Gentlemen! You're all ****s.

View Quote [to Gal] Shut up, ****. You louse. You got some ****in' neck ain't you. Retired? **** off, you're revolting. Look at your suntan, it's leather, it's like leather man, your skin. We could make a ****ing suitcase out of you. Holdall. Like a crocodile, fat crocodile, fat bastard. You look like ****ing Idi Amin, you know what I mean? Stay here? You should be ashamed of yourself. Who do you think you are? King of the castle? **** of the walk? [He gut-punches Gal] What you think this is the Wheel of Fortune? You think you can make your dough and **** off? Leave the table? Thanks Don, see you Don, off to sunny Spain now Don, **** off Don. Lying in your pool like a fat blob laughing at me, you think I'm gonna have that? You really think I'm gonna have that, ya ponce. All right, I'll make it easy for you. God knows you're ****ing trying. Are you gonna do the job? It's not a difficult question, are you gonna do the job, yes or no?

View Quote But quite frankly your attitude appalls me. It's not what you're saying. It's all this stuff you're not saying. Insinnuendos.

View Quote I ****ed Jackie. Dirty cow. During what we were doing, she tried to stick her finger up my bum. I nearly hit the roof, you can imagine. I mean, what have you got to think of a woman who'd want to do that?

View Quote I gotta change my shirt, it's sticking to me. I'm sweating like a ****.

View Quote Not this time, Gal. Not this time. Not this ****ing time. No. No no no no no no no no no! No! No no no no no no no no no no no no no! No! Not this ****ing time! No ****ing way! No ****ing way, no ****ing way, no ****ing way! You've made me look a right ****!

View Quote People say, "Don't you miss it, Gal?" I say, "What, England? Nah. ****ing place. It's a dump. Don't make me laugh. Grey, grimy, sooty. What a shit hole. What a toilet. Every **** with a long face shuffling about, moaning, all worried. No thanks, not for me." They say, "What's it like, then, Spain?" And I'll say, "It's hot. Hot. Oh, it's ****ing hot. Too hot? Not for me, I love it."

View Quote Where there's a will - and there is a ****ing will - there's a way - and there is a ****ing way.

View Quote Yeah, that's what I said. There's me putting my bag up in the cupboard next thing ya know, I feel hands on me. Someone's touched me, touched my front... my front bottom. I can't believe it, I've gone all cold. I look around, he standing there isn't he? That steward with the guilty look on his face. I was shocked, I didn't know what to say. I had to sit down, I was that perturbed. Then his mate, the other one who was giving us all lessons on what we do if we land in the sea. How to wear your life jacket etc; He starts off, he starts looking at my all funny... suggestive. Now I don't know if they're wanting me for a twosome or something, I don't know how they work it. But I'll tell you what, it scared me. I was shaking like a leaf, so without thinking I lit up a cigarette to calm me nerves. I was trembling, I was very emotional and that when all the rest of it happened. It's very regrettable. Now, I don't want to kick up a fuss, right, press charges... contact the British embassy. I'd rather not pursue those channels, that's not my style. I'm not that sort of a bloke. I don't want to lose the man his job. Man's got to eat. And I'm sure he's not representative of all you Spanish people. But I would appreciate it if you had a word with him, let him know he's been rumbled. The one with the ginger hair.

View Quote You were right Don. Technically speaking, you were right. But you're dead. So shut up.