Shrek Forever After quotes
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[As Rumpelstiltskin angrily scrunches up a page from a library book about Shrek]
Pinocchio: Uh– sir, you're gonna have to pay for that.
Rumpelstiltskin: Uh– M-m-maybe we can make a deal for it, little boy?
Pinocchio: Oh, I'm not a real boy.
Rumpelstiltskin: [Looking devious] Do you wanna be?
[Cut to Pinocchio kicking him out]
Pinocchio: Nobody needs your deals anymore, Grumple Stinkypants!
Rumpelstiltskin: [Coughs as he gets up, then picks up the ripped-out page] I wish that ogre was never born!
Rumpelstiltskin: You gave me a day from your past. A day you wouldn't even remember. A day when you were an innocent, mindless, little baby. [Starts humming Happy Birthday to You]
Shrek: You took the day I was born.
Rumpelstiltskin: No, Shrek, you gave it to me.
Puss: Come on, Donkey, ¡Vamonos!
Donkey: Man, you are a cat-tastrophe!
Puss: And you, are ri-donkey-lous!
[Beat. Then both laugh]
Donkey: Why don't you just tell her what you told me? You know, about how you're her true love and you came from an alternate universe.
Shrek: Oh, and while I'm at it, why don't I tell her that you're married to a fire breathing dragon, and you have little mutant donkey-dragon babies?
Donkey: I do?
Shrek: You saw what happened, she's gonna think I'm crazy.
Donkey [Not listening] I'm a daddy?
Shrek: You know what? If I got Fiona to kiss me once– [He blows into a frog's mouth, inflating it like a balloon] –then I can do it again.
Shrek [Enters Fiona's tent] Hello? Fiona?
[Green eyes are shown in the shadows of a cat condo]
Puss: You should not be here.....señor.
Shrek: Puss? [Puss struggles to get out of his resting place, revealing himself as now overweight with a pink bow on wrapped around the back of his neck.] You've gotta be kiddin' me.
[He lowers down on the scratching post, the lands on his back on a pillow. He then struggles to get up, followed by facing Shrek.]
Puss: Feed me, if you dare.
Shrek: Puss, what happened to you?! You got so fa– [Puss gives him a look] Fa-ancy!
Puss: Do I know you?
Shrek: Well, where's your hat? Where's your belt? [He gasps softly] Your wee little boots?
Puss: Boots, for a cat? Ha! [He laughs]
Shrek: But you're Puss in Boots.
Puss: Maybe once, [He opens a bottle of milk] but that is a name I have outgrown.
Shrek: [under his breath] That's not the only thing you've outgrown.
Puss: Hey! I may have let myself go a little since retirement, but hanging up my sword was the best decision of my life! I have all the cream I can drink and all the mice I can chase. [A mouse runs up to his bowl and starts drinking out of it] Eh, I'll get him later. [He starts drinking out of the bowl himself]
Shrek: Oh, Puss, what have I done to you? You've gone soft.
Puss: Well, I do get brushed twice a day.
Shrek: You witches are making a big mistake! I know my rights!
Pumpkin Witch: You have the right to shut your mouth! [She drops a pumpkin which explodes with smoke in Shrek's face]
Rumpelstiltskin: So... you're not gonna eat me?
Shrek: No, thanks. I already had a big bowl of curly-toed weirdo for breakfast.
Shrek: Stop! Where are you going?
Fiona: To save my friends.
Shrek: How, by getting yourself killed?
Fiona: If that's what it takes.
Shrek: Puss, say something.
Fiona: [suspicious] Puss?
Puss: L-Let me explain.
Fiona: So that's how you knew so much about me!
Shrek: Fiona, wait! [jumping in front of her] Kiss me!
Fiona: What?
Shrek: It's the only way to save your friends!
Fiona: Get out of my way! [walks past him]
Shrek: You used to believe that a single kiss could solve everything!
[Fiona turns around and reluctantly kisses him. However, when they're done kissing, nothing happens, to Shrek's confusion. Fiona, indifferent, wipes at her mouth]
Shrek: I don't understand. [frustrated] This doesn't make any sense! True love's kiss was supposed to fix everything!
Fiona: [sarcastically] Yeah, well, you know what? That's what they told me too. True love didn't get me out of that tower. I did! I saved myself! Don't you get it? It's all just a big fairy tale!
Shrek: [pleading] Fiona, don't say that! It does exist!
Fiona: And how would you know? Did you grow up locked away in a dragon's keep? [voice cracking] Did you live all alone in a miserable tower?! Did you cry yourself to sleep every night waiting for a true love that never came?!
Shrek: But... but I'm your true love.
Fiona: Then where were you when I needed you?
[Shrek, stunned and full of guilt, can't bring himself to answer. Fiona turns around and leaves]
Donkey: Maybe you kissed her... wrong?
Shrek: No. The kiss didn't work... because Fiona doesn't love me.
Puss: It seems that we are safe.
Donkey: Yeah, it looks a lot less pitchforky and torchy out there. Let's go.
Shrek: Oh, what's the point? The kiss didn't work. It's over.
Donkey: Look, Shrek, I know things might seem a little bleak right now, but things always work themselves out in the end. You'll see. Well, I'll bet by this time tomorrow–
Shrek: Hey, don't you understand? There is no tomorrow, there's no day after that, and there's no day after that day after that! My life was perfect and I'm never gonna get it back!
Donkey: Well, if your life was so perfect, then why did you sign it all the way to Rumpelstiltskin in the first place?
Shrek: Because I didn't know what I had until it was gone! Alright? [He sighs, deeply remorseful now] I didn't know what I had.
Fiona: That was a really brave thing you did, Shrek. Thank you.
Shrek: [sullenly] No. You were right. I wasn't there for you. And not just at the dragon's keep, but...everyday since.
Fiona: [smiles softly] Well, you're here now.
Shrek/Fiona: [about ogres using their noses as a horn] I didn't know we could do that.
Butterpants: Do the roar!
Shrek: Uh, roar.
Butterpants: I don't like it.
[During the main event–]
Donkey: ♪ Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall.All you've got to do is call. [Rumpelstiltskin and the witches hear and spot him on top of the new hanging chandelier ball] ♪ And I'll be there. Yeah, yeah, yeah– ♪
Shrek: Donkey?
Donkey: And Puss– [Puss descends down the chandelier ball's rope, now wearing his boots, belt, hat and cape.]
Puss: –In Boots!
[Last lines]
Shrek: You know, I always thought I rescued you from the Dragon's Keep.
Fiona: [smiles slightly, confused] You did.
Shrek: No. It was you that rescued me.
[Fiona beams, before the two share a kiss]
Pinocchio: Uh– sir, you're gonna have to pay for that.
Rumpelstiltskin: Uh– M-m-maybe we can make a deal for it, little boy?
Pinocchio: Oh, I'm not a real boy.
Rumpelstiltskin: [Looking devious] Do you wanna be?
[Cut to Pinocchio kicking him out]
Pinocchio: Nobody needs your deals anymore, Grumple Stinkypants!
Rumpelstiltskin: [Coughs as he gets up, then picks up the ripped-out page] I wish that ogre was never born!
Rumpelstiltskin: You gave me a day from your past. A day you wouldn't even remember. A day when you were an innocent, mindless, little baby. [Starts humming Happy Birthday to You]
Shrek: You took the day I was born.
Rumpelstiltskin: No, Shrek, you gave it to me.
Puss: Come on, Donkey, ¡Vamonos!
Donkey: Man, you are a cat-tastrophe!
Puss: And you, are ri-donkey-lous!
[Beat. Then both laugh]
Donkey: Why don't you just tell her what you told me? You know, about how you're her true love and you came from an alternate universe.
Shrek: Oh, and while I'm at it, why don't I tell her that you're married to a fire breathing dragon, and you have little mutant donkey-dragon babies?
Donkey: I do?
Shrek: You saw what happened, she's gonna think I'm crazy.
Donkey [Not listening] I'm a daddy?
Shrek: You know what? If I got Fiona to kiss me once– [He blows into a frog's mouth, inflating it like a balloon] –then I can do it again.
Shrek [Enters Fiona's tent] Hello? Fiona?
[Green eyes are shown in the shadows of a cat condo]
Puss: You should not be here.....señor.
Shrek: Puss? [Puss struggles to get out of his resting place, revealing himself as now overweight with a pink bow on wrapped around the back of his neck.] You've gotta be kiddin' me.
[He lowers down on the scratching post, the lands on his back on a pillow. He then struggles to get up, followed by facing Shrek.]
Puss: Feed me, if you dare.
Shrek: Puss, what happened to you?! You got so fa– [Puss gives him a look] Fa-ancy!
Puss: Do I know you?
Shrek: Well, where's your hat? Where's your belt? [He gasps softly] Your wee little boots?
Puss: Boots, for a cat? Ha! [He laughs]
Shrek: But you're Puss in Boots.
Puss: Maybe once, [He opens a bottle of milk] but that is a name I have outgrown.
Shrek: [under his breath] That's not the only thing you've outgrown.
Puss: Hey! I may have let myself go a little since retirement, but hanging up my sword was the best decision of my life! I have all the cream I can drink and all the mice I can chase. [A mouse runs up to his bowl and starts drinking out of it] Eh, I'll get him later. [He starts drinking out of the bowl himself]
Shrek: Oh, Puss, what have I done to you? You've gone soft.
Puss: Well, I do get brushed twice a day.
Shrek: You witches are making a big mistake! I know my rights!
Pumpkin Witch: You have the right to shut your mouth! [She drops a pumpkin which explodes with smoke in Shrek's face]
Rumpelstiltskin: So... you're not gonna eat me?
Shrek: No, thanks. I already had a big bowl of curly-toed weirdo for breakfast.
Shrek: Stop! Where are you going?
Fiona: To save my friends.
Shrek: How, by getting yourself killed?
Fiona: If that's what it takes.
Shrek: Puss, say something.
Fiona: [suspicious] Puss?
Puss: L-Let me explain.
Fiona: So that's how you knew so much about me!
Shrek: Fiona, wait! [jumping in front of her] Kiss me!
Fiona: What?
Shrek: It's the only way to save your friends!
Fiona: Get out of my way! [walks past him]
Shrek: You used to believe that a single kiss could solve everything!
[Fiona turns around and reluctantly kisses him. However, when they're done kissing, nothing happens, to Shrek's confusion. Fiona, indifferent, wipes at her mouth]
Shrek: I don't understand. [frustrated] This doesn't make any sense! True love's kiss was supposed to fix everything!
Fiona: [sarcastically] Yeah, well, you know what? That's what they told me too. True love didn't get me out of that tower. I did! I saved myself! Don't you get it? It's all just a big fairy tale!
Shrek: [pleading] Fiona, don't say that! It does exist!
Fiona: And how would you know? Did you grow up locked away in a dragon's keep? [voice cracking] Did you live all alone in a miserable tower?! Did you cry yourself to sleep every night waiting for a true love that never came?!
Shrek: But... but I'm your true love.
Fiona: Then where were you when I needed you?
[Shrek, stunned and full of guilt, can't bring himself to answer. Fiona turns around and leaves]
Donkey: Maybe you kissed her... wrong?
Shrek: No. The kiss didn't work... because Fiona doesn't love me.
Puss: It seems that we are safe.
Donkey: Yeah, it looks a lot less pitchforky and torchy out there. Let's go.
Shrek: Oh, what's the point? The kiss didn't work. It's over.
Donkey: Look, Shrek, I know things might seem a little bleak right now, but things always work themselves out in the end. You'll see. Well, I'll bet by this time tomorrow–
Shrek: Hey, don't you understand? There is no tomorrow, there's no day after that, and there's no day after that day after that! My life was perfect and I'm never gonna get it back!
Donkey: Well, if your life was so perfect, then why did you sign it all the way to Rumpelstiltskin in the first place?
Shrek: Because I didn't know what I had until it was gone! Alright? [He sighs, deeply remorseful now] I didn't know what I had.
Fiona: That was a really brave thing you did, Shrek. Thank you.
Shrek: [sullenly] No. You were right. I wasn't there for you. And not just at the dragon's keep, but...everyday since.
Fiona: [smiles softly] Well, you're here now.
Shrek/Fiona: [about ogres using their noses as a horn] I didn't know we could do that.
Butterpants: Do the roar!
Shrek: Uh, roar.
Butterpants: I don't like it.
[During the main event–]
Donkey: ♪ Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall.All you've got to do is call. [Rumpelstiltskin and the witches hear and spot him on top of the new hanging chandelier ball] ♪ And I'll be there. Yeah, yeah, yeah– ♪
Shrek: Donkey?
Donkey: And Puss– [Puss descends down the chandelier ball's rope, now wearing his boots, belt, hat and cape.]
Puss: –In Boots!
[Last lines]
Shrek: You know, I always thought I rescued you from the Dragon's Keep.
Fiona: [smiles slightly, confused] You did.
Shrek: No. It was you that rescued me.
[Fiona beams, before the two share a kiss]