Snatch quotes

View Quote Avi: How do we wanna get rid of him? [talking about Boris in the carboot]
Bullet Tooth Tony: Do you want to shoot him?
Avi: It's a little noisy, isn't it?
Bullet Tooth Tony: Do you want to stab him?
Avi: That's a little cold-blooded, isn't it?
Bullet Tooth Tony:[Annoyed] Do you want to kill him or not?
Rosebud:[in the backseat, taking the blade out of his jacket] I'll cut him. I got a blade.
Bullet Tooth Tony: Yeah, that's the spirit.

View Quote Avi: So what should I call you, "Bullet"? "Tooth"?
Bullet Tooth Tony: You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.

View Quote Avi: Tony.
Bullet Tooth Tony: What?
Avi: Look in the dog.
Bullet Tooth Tony: What you mean, 'Look in the dog'?
Avi: I mean, open him up.
Bullet Tooth Tony: It's not a ****ing tin of baked beans! What do you mean 'open him up'?!
Avi: You know what I mean.
Bullet Tooth Tony: [Appalled] That's a bit strong, ain't it. I don't know about this.[hesitated, but gets the dog anyway, ready with a blade]
Vinny:[speaks in disbelief]No, you can't do this.
[the squeaky toy in the dog makes the dog squeak when he's barking]
Bullet Tooth Tony: It's ****ing squeaking!!
Avi: You never heard a dog squeak before? Gimme the goddamn gun!!

View Quote Avi: [To his aide 'Rosebud'] You gotta toothbrush? 'm goin' to London. [Into phone] You hear that, Doug? 'm comin' to London!
[Quick, split-second shots of Avi's flight from New York to London; instantly]
Doug the Head: Avi!
Avi: Shut up and sit down, you big, bald ****. [Doug sheepishly complies] I don't like leaving my own country Doug, and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less than warm, sandy beaches, and ****tails with little straw hats.
Doug the Head: We've got sandy beaches...
Avi: Yeah? So who the **** wants to see 'em?

View Quote Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: Give me the stone.
Vinny: [pointing] It's in the case.
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: What?
[takes out his earplugs]
Vinny: It's in the case!
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: You put the stone in the case? Then open the case and give me the stone.
Sol: The only man who knew the combination... you just shot.
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: [in russian] Ёб твою мать.(pronounced: yo tvoyu mat) (**** your mother.)

View Quote Brick Top: [Into cell phone] Pete, talk to me.
Darren [At gypsy campsite, holding Pete at gunpoint]: If ya want yer friend to hear ya, you'll have to talk a lot louder than that. [shoots Pete]

View Quote Brick Top: Gimme that ****ing shooter.
Pikey: [Rolls down window] I'll give you that ****ing shooter, you **** yea.
[Shoots Brick Top]

View Quote Brick Top: I've got a bare-knuckle fight in a couple of days, I wanna use the pikey.
Turkish: All right, of course.
Brick Top: Of course ****ing of course. I wasn't asking, I was telling.

View Quote Brick Top: Pull your tongue out of my arsehole, Gary. Dogs do that. You're not a dog are ya Gary?
Gary: No, no I'm not.
Brick Top: However, you have all the characteristics of a dog, Gary... All except loyalty.
[Errol zaps Gary]
Turkish: [Narrating]It's rumored that Brick Top's favorite means of dispatch involves a stun gun, a plastic bag, a roll of tape, and a pack of hungry pigs.
Brick Top: You're a ruthless little **** Liam. I'll give ya that. But I got no time for grassers. Feed 'em to the pigs Errol... [turns to face the boxers in the ring] What the **** are you two looking at?

View Quote Brick Top: What do you think, Errol?
Errol: I think we should drip dry 'em, Guv'nor. While we've got the chance.
Brick Top: [exasperated] It was a rhetorical question, Errol. What have I told you about thinking?

View Quote Brick Top: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
Sol: Would someone mind telling me, who are ya?
Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
[Slightly stunned pause]
Vinny: Well... thank you for that. That's a real weight off me mind. Now I mean, wouldn't you mind telling me exactly who the **** you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs, of course.

View Quote Bullet Tooth Tony: A bookie's got blagged last night.
Avi: Blagged? Tony, speak English. I thought this country spawned the ****ing language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.

View Quote Bullet Tooth Tony: Alright Mullet?
[Mullet freezes in shock, then turns around] Mullet: Hey Tony! How you doin' mate, alright?
Bullet Tooth Tony: Ooh, nice tie.
Mullet: I heard you werent about much these days, Tony
Bullet Tooth Tony: What do you know? Still warm, the blood that courses through my veins.Unlike yours, Mullet.
Mullet: Do me a favor Tone..
Bullet Tooth Tony: I will do you a favor, Mullet.I'll not get out of the car and bash the living **** out of you in front of your girlfriends.
Mullet: Got to make it worth my while, Mate.Jesus Tony, you know that.
[Tony grabs Mullets tie and rolls up the window, wedging Mullets head in it] Bullet Tooth Tony: Comfortable, Mullet? It seems sadly ironic that it's that tie that got you into this pickle.Now, you just take all the time you want.
Mullet: What the **** you doing Tone?!
Bullet Tooth Tony: Driving down the street with your head stuck in my window. What do you think I'm doing, you pinarse?
Mullet: Slow down, Tone!
Bullet Tooth Tony: You been using dog shit for toothpaste, Mullet?
Mullet: Slow down Tone. Slow down Tony!
Bullet Tooth Tony: Don't think I'll slow down. I think I'll speed up. [starts to accelerate]

View Quote Bullet Tooth Tony: Avi? Where's the case?
Avi: [on the floor face-down] Put the gun away.
Bullet Tooth Tony: What's Boris doing here? Boris, what are you doing here?
Boris: **** you!
[Tony shoots him twice, then goes over to Tyrone]
Bullet Tooth Tony: Where's the case?
Boris:[groans] You piece of crap...
Bullet Tooth Tony: Don't take the piss, Boris.
Boris: I'll show you... now...!
[Tony shoots him four more times]
Boris: **** You!
[Tony shoots him again]
Boris: Almost had it.
Bullet Tooth Tony: For ****'s sake...
[Takes careful aim and shoots Boris one more time; looks down at Tyrone]
Bullet Tooth Tony: [Contempt] **** you, an' all.
[Casually pulls the trigger, only to learn that he has run out of ammunition]
Bullet Tooth Tony: [Exasperated] You lucky bastard!

View Quote Bullet Tooth Tony: Boris the Blade? As in... Boris, the Bullet-Dodger?
Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
Bullet Tooth Tony: [Gives him an odd look] Because he dodges bullets, Avi.