View Quote
Gaeman: Please, man, I...
Captain Mack: What part of "You ain't flying this plane" don't you understand? Sit back and enjoy the flight, Idi Amin!
Blanca: [after catching Method Man staring at her chest] Ain't no drink down there.
Muggsy: There isn't.
Heather Hunkee: Fine. For a couple more hours. I am 17 and then I'll be 18. Then I can party and have sex.
Mr. Hunkee: Sex?! No, no.
Heather Hunkee: Yeah, sex. Missionary, doggie-style, rocking the baby, getting tea-bagged, playing the trombone while I'm tossing a salad, hand jobs, ear jobs, blow jobs. Getting a pearl necklace, riding the bologna pony... sucking--
Mr. Hunkee: That's enough!
Worldwide Airlines Ticket Agent: OK, Mr. Hunkee, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that your flight 114 to JFK has been cancelled.
Barbara: Oh, for the love of...
Worldwide Airlines Ticket Agent: But, the good news is that we have found another airline that can accommodate you this evening. [in background] Would you be interested in flying another airline?
Mr. Hunkee: No problem.
Worldwide Airlines Ticket Agent: OK, four tickets for flight... 069, on NWA. What you gonna wanna do is go to gate 1, uh, that's Terminal X, and we'll send your luggage on down for you.
Mr. Hunkee: Thank you.
Worldwide Airlines Ticket Agent: Good luck!
Billy Hunkee: Oh shoot!
Barbara: Terminal Malcolm X?
Captain Mack: Hey, yo Game, why don't you go secure the ****pit, homie.
Gaeman: Yes, right away. [locks the ****pit door] This mother****er is locked.
Captain Mack: [picks up a bobble head doll] Fred G. Sanford, my n*****, and the "G" is for going places, can you dig it? [shakes bobble head, making it nod its head] Now we ready to roll. [the plane starts up and backs up] Oh nerves got switches in this, huh? [hits a switch] Mmm yum, and they work! [camera cuts to some surprised passengers] Oh this is hot yo! [plane bounces around] Yeah!
Gaeman: Oh my gosh! [plane continues bouncing]
Captain Mack: Bounce with me! This has hooked up!
Gaeman: Like an elephant!
Captain Mack: Yeah! Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce!
Gaeman: Hey, I have the perfect music for this! Yes I have it right here. [puts a CD in the stereo] Huh what what... huh what what-
Captain Mack: [interrupts Gaeman] Hey man, hold on man, hold on.
Gaeman: Like an elephant! Ha ha!
Captain Mack: Naw man, you got to turn that bullsh*t off, man. Can't be ridin' to that bullsh*t, man.
Gaeman: Don't you insult my music.
Captain: Ride ya some gangsta sh*t, pop that in man. Captain don't want to hear that Zimbabwe-ah-wa-wa-wa sh*t.
Gaeman: It's not sh*t. [takes out his CD, puts in Mack's CD]
Captain Mack: Whatever, get it out of here. I'm the captain of this motherf*cking sh*t.
Riggs: Captain, what is wrong with you?
Captain: I'm afraid of heights.
Riggs and Gaeman: AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?!
Mr. Hunkee: Alright, congratulations everybody! You guys have been punk'd! There's cameras everywhere, right son?
Billy Hunkee: We'll be back in like five minutes with the release forms! Come on!
Captain Mack: What part of "You ain't flying this plane" don't you understand? Sit back and enjoy the flight, Idi Amin!
Blanca: [after catching Method Man staring at her chest] Ain't no drink down there.
Muggsy: There isn't.
Heather Hunkee: Fine. For a couple more hours. I am 17 and then I'll be 18. Then I can party and have sex.
Mr. Hunkee: Sex?! No, no.
Heather Hunkee: Yeah, sex. Missionary, doggie-style, rocking the baby, getting tea-bagged, playing the trombone while I'm tossing a salad, hand jobs, ear jobs, blow jobs. Getting a pearl necklace, riding the bologna pony... sucking--
Mr. Hunkee: That's enough!
Worldwide Airlines Ticket Agent: OK, Mr. Hunkee, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that your flight 114 to JFK has been cancelled.
Barbara: Oh, for the love of...
Worldwide Airlines Ticket Agent: But, the good news is that we have found another airline that can accommodate you this evening. [in background] Would you be interested in flying another airline?
Mr. Hunkee: No problem.
Worldwide Airlines Ticket Agent: OK, four tickets for flight... 069, on NWA. What you gonna wanna do is go to gate 1, uh, that's Terminal X, and we'll send your luggage on down for you.
Mr. Hunkee: Thank you.
Worldwide Airlines Ticket Agent: Good luck!
Billy Hunkee: Oh shoot!
Barbara: Terminal Malcolm X?
Captain Mack: Hey, yo Game, why don't you go secure the ****pit, homie.
Gaeman: Yes, right away. [locks the ****pit door] This mother****er is locked.
Captain Mack: [picks up a bobble head doll] Fred G. Sanford, my n*****, and the "G" is for going places, can you dig it? [shakes bobble head, making it nod its head] Now we ready to roll. [the plane starts up and backs up] Oh nerves got switches in this, huh? [hits a switch] Mmm yum, and they work! [camera cuts to some surprised passengers] Oh this is hot yo! [plane bounces around] Yeah!
Gaeman: Oh my gosh! [plane continues bouncing]
Captain Mack: Bounce with me! This has hooked up!
Gaeman: Like an elephant!
Captain Mack: Yeah! Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce!
Gaeman: Hey, I have the perfect music for this! Yes I have it right here. [puts a CD in the stereo] Huh what what... huh what what-
Captain Mack: [interrupts Gaeman] Hey man, hold on man, hold on.
Gaeman: Like an elephant! Ha ha!
Captain Mack: Naw man, you got to turn that bullsh*t off, man. Can't be ridin' to that bullsh*t, man.
Gaeman: Don't you insult my music.
Captain: Ride ya some gangsta sh*t, pop that in man. Captain don't want to hear that Zimbabwe-ah-wa-wa-wa sh*t.
Gaeman: It's not sh*t. [takes out his CD, puts in Mack's CD]
Captain Mack: Whatever, get it out of here. I'm the captain of this motherf*cking sh*t.
Riggs: Captain, what is wrong with you?
Captain: I'm afraid of heights.
Riggs and Gaeman: AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?!
Mr. Hunkee: Alright, congratulations everybody! You guys have been punk'd! There's cameras everywhere, right son?
Billy Hunkee: We'll be back in like five minutes with the release forms! Come on!
View Quote
[After hearing Muggsy say he's got a **** fight in 10 minutes] **** fight? I'm in.
View Quote
[after seeing that business class has been turned into a casino] I'm going back to the front of the plane. When I get back, I want this to be business class.
View Quote
[calmly, after a stewardess has whispered something into his ear] I'll handle this. [screams] THE CAPTAIN'S DEAD!
View Quote
[in Spanish, to Muggsy]: I'll bet you have the tiniest penis.
View Quote
[looking into the ****pit] This is some cool shoot, fit for a real nerve.
View Quote
Everybody! Top deck! Drinks on me!
View Quote
I'm a player, but I don't play that way!
View Quote
Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached our cruising altitude of 33 thousand feet... 33 THOUSAND FEET? Oh shoot, man! We flyin' higher than Redman at the Source Awards!
View Quote
Now, how much Colt 45 to Sierra Mist do you mix to get bubbly? Probably half and half.
View Quote
Testicles, 1, 2... Testicles, 1, 2. Hey y'all, what's crackalackin? This is your soul plane chauffeur Captain Antoine Mack speaking. Welcome aboard NWA flight 069 from the 310 to the 212. It's time to bust this coney y'all. In a hot second, I'll be hittin' them switches and gettin' this bitch pumpin' and jumpin'. So screw your shoot on tight and enjoy the flight.
View Quote
This is the bomb! [everything goes silent] What...? Let's dance!
View Quote
You know hard it is to get 84 inch tires?!