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I used to want to be like the other kids, you know! I wanted to be a surfer! I wanted to be hip and bitchy and gnarly, but that's over now, it all ended one miserable afternoon: I was having an innocent soda, and they spiked it! And you know with what? [lifts up shirt to reveal a pair of breasts] With a powerful reverse-sex hormone! Do you know what it's like to be the only guy at the beach with tits?!

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