Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street quotes

View Quote "At last! My arm is complete again!"

View Quote "Do they think that walls can hide you even when I'm at your window I am in the dark beside you buried sweetly in your yellow hair."

View Quote "I want you bleeders."

View Quote "The Blood of Jesus Christ His Son Cleanseth Us from All Sins." - Inscription

View Quote ) Mrs Lovett: A Customer! Wait! What's your rush where's your hurry, You gave me such a fright, I thought you was a ghost, half a minute, Can't you sit, sit you down, SIT, All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks, Did you come here for a pie sir, Do forgive me if me heads a little vague (what is that?) But you'd think we had the plague, from the way that people keep avoiding (no you don't!) Heaven knows I try sir, but there's no one comes in even to inhale, right you are sir would you like a drop of ale Mind you I can hardly blame them, these are probably the worst pies in London I know why nobody cares to take 'em, I should know, I make 'em, but good? No! The worst pies in London. Even that's polite, the worst pies in London, if you doubt it take a bite! Is that just disgusting? You have to concede it, it's nothing but crusting, here drink this, you'll need it, the worst pies in London And no wonder with the price of meat what it is when you get it, never thought I'd live to see the day, many'd think it was a treat Finding poor animals what are dying in the street Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop, does her business but I notice something weird! Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared Have to hand it to her, wot I calls enterprise, popping pussies into pies! Wouldn't do in my shop, just the thought of it's enough to make you sick, and I'm telling ya them pussy cats is quick, No denying times is hard, sir, even harder than the worst pies in London, Only lard and nothing more Is that just revolting? All greasy and gritty It looks like it's molting, and tastes like... Well, pity a woman alone, with limited wind, and the worst pies in London. Ah Sir, times is hard, times is hard.
'Mrs.Lovett: Ah, dearie, it's gonna take a lot more than that ale to wash the taste out. Come, we'll get you a cup o' gin.

View Quote Mr. Todd: These are desperate times Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for.
Mrs. Lovett: Here we are hot out of the oven!
Mr. Todd: What is that?
Mrs. Lovett: It's Priest. Have a little Priest .
Mr. Todd: Is it really good?
Mrs. Lovett: Sir, it's too good, at least. Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh, so it's pretty fresh.
Mr. Todd: Awful lot of fat.
Mrs. Lovett: Only where it sat.
Mr. Todd: Haven't you got Poet, or something like that?
Mrs. Lovett: No, you see the trouble with Poet is how do you know it's deceased? Try the Priest. Lawyer's rather nice.
Mr. Todd: If it's for a price.
Mrs. Lovett: Order something else, though, to follow, since no one should swallow it twice.
Mr. Todd: Anything that's lean?
Mrs. Lovett: Well then if you're British and loyal, you might enjoy Royal Marine. Anyway it's clean, though of course it tastes of wherever it's been!
Mr. Todd: Is that Squire on the fire?
Mrs. Lovett: Mercy no, sir! Look closer, you'll notice it's Grocer.
Mr. Todd: Much thicker, more like Vicar.
Mrs. Lovett: No, it has to be Grocer; it's green!
Mr. Todd: The history of the world, my love,
Mrs. Lovett: Save a lot of graves; do a lot of relatives favours.
Mr. Todd: Is those below serving those up above.
Mrs. Lovett: Everybody shaves, so there should be plenty of flavours.
Mr. Todd: How gratifying for once to know
Both: That those above will serve those down below.
Mr. Todd: What is that?
Mrs. Lovett: It's Fop, finest in the shop. Or we have some Shepherd's pie peppered with actual Shepherd on top. And I've just begun. Here's the Politician so oily it's served with a doily, have one!
Mr. Todd: Put it on a bun, but you never know if it's going to run.
Mrs. Lovett: Try the Friar; fried it's drier.
Mr. Todd: No, the clergy is really too coarse and too mealy.
Mrs. Lovett: Then Actor; it's compacter.
Mr. Todd: Ah, but always arrives overdone! I'll come again when you have JUDGE on the menu.
Mr. Todd: Have charity towards the world, my pet.
Mrs. Lovett: Yes, yes, I know, my love.
Mr. Todd: We'll take the customers that we can get
Mrs. Lovett: High born and low, my love.
Mr. Todd & Both: We'll not discriminate great from small, no we'll serve anyone, meaning anyone, and to anyone at all!

View Quote Mrs. Lovett: Seems a downright shame
Mr. Todd: Shame?
Mrs. Lovett: Seems an awful waste; such a nice plump frame whats-his-name has... had... has, nor it can't be traced. Business needs a lift, debts to be erased, think of it as thrift, as a gift, if you get my drift. Seems an awful waste. I mean, with the price of meat what it is when you get it, if you get it...
Mr. Todd: Ahhh!
Mrs. Lovett: Good, you got it! Take for instance Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop. Business never better using only pussy cats and toast. Now a pussy's good for maybe 6 or 7 at the most, and I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!
Mr. Todd: Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion! Eminently practical and yet...
Mrs. Lovett: Well, it does seem a waste.
Mr. Todd: ...appropriate as always. Mrs. Lovett, how I did without you all these years I'll never know. How delectable, also undetectable, how choice, how rare
Mrs. Lovett: Think about it. Lots of other gentleman will soon be coming for a shave, won't they? Think of all them pies!
Mr. Todd: For what's the sound of the world out there?
Mrs. Lovett: What, Mr. Todd? What, Mr. Todd? What is that sound?
Mr. Todd: Those crunching noises pervading the air!
Mrs. Lovett: Yes, Mr. Todd, yes, Mr. Todd, yes, all around!
Mr. Todd: It's man devouring man, my dear!
':Both: And who are we to deny it in here?

View Quote Mrs. Lovett: We've got tinker...
Todd: No, no, something pinker.
Mrs. Lovett: Tailor?
Todd: Paler.
Mrs. Lovett: Butler?
Todd: Subtler.
Mrs. Lovett: Potter?
Todd: Hotter.
Mrs. Lovett: Locksmith?(Silence)

View Quote Tobias: Ladies and gentleman, may I have your attention please, Do you wake every morning with shame and despair, to discover your pillow is covered with hair, what ought not to be there, Well Ladies and Gentleman, from now on you can waken at ease, You need never again have a worry or care, I will show you a miracle marvellous rare, Gentleman you are about to see something what rose from the dead... On the top of my head.
Tobias: Twas Pirelli's Miracle Elixir, that's what did the trick Sir, true Sir true, Was it quick Sir, did it in a tick Sir, just like an Elixir ought to do. How 'bout a bottle Mister, only costs a penny guaranteed. Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth Sir, you can have my oath Sir 'tis unique, Rub a minute, stimulating in' it, soon you'll have to thin it once a week.
Mr Todd: Pardon me Ma'am what's that awful stench, Must be standing near an open trench
Mrs Lovett: Are we standing near an open trench, Pardon me Sir whats that awful stench
Tobias: Buy Pirelli's Miracle Elixar, anything whats slick sir, soon sprouts curls, try Pirelli's, when they see how thick Sir, you can have your pick sir of the girls.
Tobias: Wanna buy a bottle Mister
Mr Todd: What is this?
Mrs Lovett: What is this?
Mr Todd: Smells like piss
Mrs Lovett: Smells like...Ugh.
Mr Todd: Looks like piss
Mrs Lovett: Wouldn't touch it if I was you dear
Mr Todd: This is piss, piss with ink
Tobias: Let Pirelli's activate your roots Sir
Mr Todd: Keep it off your boots, Sir, eats right through
Tobias: Yes get Pirelli's, use a bottle of it, Ladies seem to love it
Mrs Lovett: Flies do too.
Mr.Pirelli: I am Adolfo Pirelli the King of the Barbers, the Barber of Kings. E buon giorno, I blow you a kiss. And I..the so famous Pirelli a wish-a to know-a who has-a the nerve-a to say...my elixir is piss, who say's this?

View Quote Tobias: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please, are your nostrils a-quiver and tingling as well, at that delicate, luscious ambrosial smell, Yes they are, I can tell! Well, ladies and gentlemen, that aroma enriching the breeze Is like nothing compared to its succulent source, as the gourmets among you will tell you, of course! Well Ladies and gentlemen you can't imagine the rapture in store Just inside of this door!"
Tobias: There you'll sample Mrs. Lovett's meat pies, savoury and sweet pies as you'll see. You who eat pies, Mrs. Lovett's meat pies conjure up the treat pies used to be.
Mrs. Lovett: Toby
Tobias: Coming
Mrs. Lovett: Ale there
Tobias: Right Ma'am
Mrs. Lovett: Quick now
Mrs. Lovett: Nice to see you deary, how have you been keeping, cor me bones is weary, Toby, one for the gentleman, hear the birdies cheeping, helps to keep it cheery, Toby, THROW THE OLD WOMAN OUT!
Mrs. Lovett: What's my secret, frankly dear forgive my candor, family secret all to do with herbs, things like being careful with your coriander, that's what makes the graver grander.
Both: Eat them slow and feel the crust how thin I rolled it, eat them slow cause every one's a prize, eat them slow and that's the lot and now we've sold it, come again tomorrow
Mrs. Lovett: Hold it!
Mrs. Lovett: Bless my eyes! Fresh supplies...

View Quote Anthony Hope (Johanna)

View Quote Ensemble (The Ballad of Sweeney Todd)

View Quote Sweeney Todd/Benjamin Barker

View Quote Sweeney Todd (Epiphany)

View Quote Sweeney Todd (My Friends)