Others quotes
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Ophelia: [noticing Louis watch her undress] By the way, food and rent aren't the only things around here that cost money. You sleep on the couch.
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Officer Reynolds: [to Louis] Strip, you little shit, before I tear you a new asshole!
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Corrupt Cop: [Takes some PCP out of a baggie and tastes it] That's PCP! Phenycyclidine. Angel dust! You ever seen what this stuff does to kids? You're looking at 5 to 10 mandatory... Louis!
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Bunny: And she stepped on the ball.
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Even Bigger Black Guy: It ain't cool being no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving.
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Harvey: Monkey? MONKEY! I'm a ****ing gorilla, you clown!
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Beeks: Hey. Back off! I'll rip out your eyes and piss on your brain.
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Mortimer Duke: This an outrage! I demand a full investigation!
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Randolph Duke: Ezra. Right on time. I'll bet you thought I'd forgotten your Christmas bonus. There you are.
Ezra: Five dollars. Maybe I'll go to the movies... by myself.
Mortimer Duke: Half of it is from me.
Ezra: Thank you, Mr. Mortimer. [mouthing silently] Asshole.
Ezra: Five dollars. Maybe I'll go to the movies... by myself.
Mortimer Duke: Half of it is from me.
Ezra: Thank you, Mr. Mortimer. [mouthing silently] Asshole.
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Louis: Randolph. Mortimer.
Mortimer Duke: Winthorpe, my boy, what have you got for us?
Louis: Well, it's that time of the month again. Payroll checks for our employees, which require your signatures. And no forgetting to sign the big ones!
Mortimer Duke: We seem to be paying some of our employees an awful lot of money.
Louis: [laughs] Can't get around the old minimum wage, Mortimer.
Mortimer Duke: Winthorpe, my boy, what have you got for us?
Louis: Well, it's that time of the month again. Payroll checks for our employees, which require your signatures. And no forgetting to sign the big ones!
Mortimer Duke: We seem to be paying some of our employees an awful lot of money.
Louis: [laughs] Can't get around the old minimum wage, Mortimer.
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Randolph Duke: Money isn't everything, Mortimer.
Mortimer Duke: Oh, grow up.
Randolph Duke: Mother always said you were greedy.
Mortimer Duke: She meant it as a compliment.
Mortimer Duke: Oh, grow up.
Randolph Duke: Mother always said you were greedy.
Mortimer Duke: She meant it as a compliment.
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Billy Ray: [Billy Ray is in jail] I wish my bitches would get here. I ain't got time to be sitting in this cell with you.
Big Black Guy: Where are your bitches, Mr. Big-Time Pimp?
Billy Ray: [to Cellmate #2] Didn't I tell you that the phone in my limousine is busted, and I can't get in contact with my bitches?
Cellmate #2: [to Big Black Guy] Yeah! The phone in the limo was busted. What is ya, ignorant?
Big Black Guy: Where are your bitches, Mr. Big-Time Pimp?
Billy Ray: [to Cellmate #2] Didn't I tell you that the phone in my limousine is busted, and I can't get in contact with my bitches?
Cellmate #2: [to Big Black Guy] Yeah! The phone in the limo was busted. What is ya, ignorant?
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Big Black Guy: You beatin' 10 cops. How come I don't see no bruises on you?
Billy Ray: 'Cause I'm a karate man, see! And a karate man bruises on the inside! They don't show their weakness. But you don't know that because you're a big Barry White looking mother****er! So get outta my face!
Billy Ray: 'Cause I'm a karate man, see! And a karate man bruises on the inside! They don't show their weakness. But you don't know that because you're a big Barry White looking mother****er! So get outta my face!
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Billy Ray: [after breaking a vase] Hey, sorry about that.
Randolph Duke: It's perfectly all right William. It was your vase.
Billy Ray: That was a cheap vase, right? That was a fake? Right?
Randolph Duke: I believe we paid $35,000. But if I remember correctly, we valued it for the insurance company at $50,000. You see, Mortimer? William has already made us $15,000.
[Coleman, Mortimer, Randolph, and Billy Ray start laughing]
Billy Ray: You want me to break something else?
Randolph Duke, Mortimer Duke, Coleman: NO!
Randolph Duke: It's perfectly all right William. It was your vase.
Billy Ray: That was a cheap vase, right? That was a fake? Right?
Randolph Duke: I believe we paid $35,000. But if I remember correctly, we valued it for the insurance company at $50,000. You see, Mortimer? William has already made us $15,000.
[Coleman, Mortimer, Randolph, and Billy Ray start laughing]
Billy Ray: You want me to break something else?
Randolph Duke, Mortimer Duke, Coleman: NO!
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Billy Ray: What if I can't do this job, Coleman? What if I'm not what they expected?
Coleman: Just be yourself, sir. Whatever happens, they can't take that away from you.
Coleman: Just be yourself, sir. Whatever happens, they can't take that away from you.
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Pawnbroker: Burnt my fingers, man.
Louis: I beg your pardon?
Pawnbroker: Man, that watch is so hot, it's smokin'.
Louis: Hot? Do you mean to imply stolen?
Pawnbroker: I'll give you 50 bucks for it.
Louis: Fifty bucks? No, no, no. This is a Rouchefoucauld. The thinnest water-resistant watch in the world. Singularly unique, sculptured in design, hand-crafted in Switzerland, and water resistant to three atmospheres. This is the sports watch of the '80s. Six thousand, nine hundred and fifty five dollars retail!
Pawnbroker: You got a receipt?
Louis: Look, it tells time simultaneously in Monte Carlo, Beverly Hills, London, Paris, Rome, and Gstaad.
Pawnbroker: In Philadelphia, it's worth 50 bucks.
Louis Winthorpe III: Just give me the money. [looking in display case] How much for the gun?
Louis: I beg your pardon?
Pawnbroker: Man, that watch is so hot, it's smokin'.
Louis: Hot? Do you mean to imply stolen?
Pawnbroker: I'll give you 50 bucks for it.
Louis: Fifty bucks? No, no, no. This is a Rouchefoucauld. The thinnest water-resistant watch in the world. Singularly unique, sculptured in design, hand-crafted in Switzerland, and water resistant to three atmospheres. This is the sports watch of the '80s. Six thousand, nine hundred and fifty five dollars retail!
Pawnbroker: You got a receipt?
Louis: Look, it tells time simultaneously in Monte Carlo, Beverly Hills, London, Paris, Rome, and Gstaad.
Pawnbroker: In Philadelphia, it's worth 50 bucks.
Louis Winthorpe III: Just give me the money. [looking in display case] How much for the gun?
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Randolph Duke: Exactly why do you think the price of pork bellies is going to keep going down, William?
Billy Ray: Okay, pork belly prices have been dropping all morning, which means that everybody is waiting for it to hit rock bottom, so they can buy low. Which means that the people who own the pork belly contracts are saying, "Hey, we're losing all our damn money, and Christmas is around the corner, and I ain't gonna have no money to buy my son the G.I. Joe with the kung-fu grip! And my wife ain't gonna f... my wife ain't gonna make love to me if I got no money!" So they're panicking right now, they're screaming "SELL! SELL!" to get out before the price keeps dropping. They're panicking out there right now, I can feel it.
[on the ticker machine, the price keeps dropping]
Randolph Duke: He's right, Mortimer! My God, look at it!
Billy Ray: Okay, pork belly prices have been dropping all morning, which means that everybody is waiting for it to hit rock bottom, so they can buy low. Which means that the people who own the pork belly contracts are saying, "Hey, we're losing all our damn money, and Christmas is around the corner, and I ain't gonna have no money to buy my son the G.I. Joe with the kung-fu grip! And my wife ain't gonna f... my wife ain't gonna make love to me if I got no money!" So they're panicking right now, they're screaming "SELL! SELL!" to get out before the price keeps dropping. They're panicking out there right now, I can feel it.
[on the ticker machine, the price keeps dropping]
Randolph Duke: He's right, Mortimer! My God, look at it!
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[Billy Ray overhears the Dukes talking in the bathroom]
Randolph Duke: Pay up, Mortimer. I've won the bet.
Mortimer Duke: Here, one dollar.
Randolph Duke: [chuckling] We took a perfectly useless psychopath like Valentine, and turned him into a successful executive. And during the same time, we turned an honest, hard-working man into a violently, deranged, would-be killer! [laughs] Now, what are we going to do about taking Winthorpe back and returning Valentine to the ghetto?
Mortimer Duke: I don't want Winthorpe back, after what he's done.
Randolph Duke: You mean, keep Valentine on as managing director?
Mortimer Duke: Do you really believe I would have a **** run our family business, Randolph?
[Valentine's eyes widen with outrage]
Randolph Duke: Of course not. Neither would I.
Randolph Duke: Pay up, Mortimer. I've won the bet.
Mortimer Duke: Here, one dollar.
Randolph Duke: [chuckling] We took a perfectly useless psychopath like Valentine, and turned him into a successful executive. And during the same time, we turned an honest, hard-working man into a violently, deranged, would-be killer! [laughs] Now, what are we going to do about taking Winthorpe back and returning Valentine to the ghetto?
Mortimer Duke: I don't want Winthorpe back, after what he's done.
Randolph Duke: You mean, keep Valentine on as managing director?
Mortimer Duke: Do you really believe I would have a **** run our family business, Randolph?
[Valentine's eyes widen with outrage]
Randolph Duke: Of course not. Neither would I.
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Billy Ray: [watches Louis clean his shotgun] You know, you can't just go around and shoot people in the kneecaps with a double-barreled shotgun 'cause you pissed at 'em.
Louis: Why not?
Billy Ray: 'Cause it's called assault with a deadly weapon, you get 20 years for that shit.
Louis: Listen, do you have any better ideas?
Billy Ray: Yeah. You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.
Coleman: You have to admit, sir, you didn't like it yourself a bit.
Louis: Why not?
Billy Ray: 'Cause it's called assault with a deadly weapon, you get 20 years for that shit.
Louis: Listen, do you have any better ideas?
Billy Ray: Yeah. You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.
Coleman: You have to admit, sir, you didn't like it yourself a bit.
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Louis: My God! The Dukes are going to corner the entire frozen orange juice market!
Ophelia: Unless somebody stops them...
Coleman: ...or beats them to it. [all turn and look at him] Egg-nog?
Ophelia: Unless somebody stops them...
Coleman: ...or beats them to it. [all turn and look at him] Egg-nog?
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Billy Ray: Merry New Year!
Beeks: That's "happy." In this country we say "Happy New Year."
Billy Ray: Oh, ho, ho, thank you for correcting my English which stinks!
Beeks: That's "happy." In this country we say "Happy New Year."
Billy Ray: Oh, ho, ho, thank you for correcting my English which stinks!
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Coleman: [offering Billy Ray a sip from his flask; they are both in Halloween costumes] Would you like a sip of whiskey?
Billy Ray: I do not drink, it is against my religion!
Coleman: Religion is a good thing I say, taken in moderation.
Billy Ray: I do not drink, it is against my religion!
Coleman: Religion is a good thing I say, taken in moderation.
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Louis: Nenge? Nenge Mboko? It is me, Lionel Joseph!
Billy Ray: Lionel! From the African Education Conference!
Louis: Yah, mon, I was Director of Cultural Activities at the Haile Selassie Pavilion.
Billy Ray: I remember the pavilion - we had big fun there!
Both: Boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, hah! Boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, hah!
Billy Ray: Oh, memories!
Billy Ray: Lionel! From the African Education Conference!
Louis: Yah, mon, I was Director of Cultural Activities at the Haile Selassie Pavilion.
Billy Ray: I remember the pavilion - we had big fun there!
Both: Boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, hah! Boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, hah!
Billy Ray: Oh, memories!
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Louis: [approaching the New York Commodities Exchange] Think big, think positive, never show any sign of weakness. Always go for the throat. Buy low, sell high. Fear? That's the other guy's problem. Nothing you have ever experienced will prepare you for the absolute carnage you are about to witness. Super Bowl, World Series - they don't know what pressure is. In this building, it's either kill or be killed. You make no friends in the pits and you take no prisoners. One minute you're up half a million in soybeans and the next, boom, your kids don't go to college and they've repossessed your Bentley. Are you with me?
Billy Ray: Yeah, we got to kill the motherf... - we got to kill 'em!
Billy Ray: Yeah, we got to kill the motherf... - we got to kill 'em!
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Louis: [after ruining the Dukes] Happy New Year!
Randolph Duke: [hoarsely] Winthorpe.
Mortimer Duke: [stunned] Valentine.
Billy Ray: Hey! How'd y'all make out today?
Mortimer Duke: How could you do this to us after everything we've done for you?
Billy Ray: Oh, see, I made Louis a bet here. See, Louis bet me that we couldn't both get rich and put y'all in the poor house at the same time. He didn't think we could do it. I won.
Louis: [grinning] I lost... One dollar.
Billy Ray: Thank you, Louis.
Louis: After you.
Billy Ray: Certainly.
Randolph Duke: [hoarsely] Winthorpe.
Mortimer Duke: [stunned] Valentine.
Billy Ray: Hey! How'd y'all make out today?
Mortimer Duke: How could you do this to us after everything we've done for you?
Billy Ray: Oh, see, I made Louis a bet here. See, Louis bet me that we couldn't both get rich and put y'all in the poor house at the same time. He didn't think we could do it. I won.
Louis: [grinning] I lost... One dollar.
Billy Ray: Thank you, Louis.
Louis: After you.
Billy Ray: Certainly.
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President of Exchange: [Randolph Duke has just collapsed with shock] Mortimer, your brother is not well. We better call an ambulance.
Mortimer Duke: **** him! Now, you listen to me! I want trading reopened right now. Get those brokers back in here! Turn those machines back on! [shouts, echoing throughout the trading hall] Turn those machines back on!
Mortimer Duke: **** him! Now, you listen to me! I want trading reopened right now. Get those brokers back in here! Turn those machines back on! [shouts, echoing throughout the trading hall] Turn those machines back on!
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Randolph Duke: [being wheeled out on a stretcher] Where's Beeks? Where in the hell is Beeks?
Billy Ray: [to Louis] Yeah, I forgot about that guy.
Billy Ray: [to Louis] Yeah, I forgot about that guy.