Esther...The Girl Who Became Queen [Haman (Mr. Lunt) wakes up Queen Vashti in the middle of the night.] Queen Vashti: Oh... Who is it? Haman: Um... Uh, Your Highness, ah... The king was wondering if you could make him a sandwich. Queen Vashti: It's three o'clock in the morning. Haman: Ah... Yeah. But, uh, he says that he's the king, and whatever he says goes. Queen Vashti: Well, I'm the queen, and the king can make his own sandwich. Haman: Okay. [Haman throws Queen Vashti out of the castle.] Queen Vashti: [angrily] You can't do this to me!! I'm the queen!! Haman: Oh, yeah? [throws her luggage at her] The king can do whatever he wants! He's the king! And don't come back! King Xerxes (Mr. Nezzer): Don't you think that might have been a little harsh? Haman: Oh, no way. If she got away with that, no one would listen to you. King Xerxes: Well, what am I gonna do now? 'Haman: It looks like we're going to have to find you a new queen. King Xerxes: Hmm... Make me a sandwich. Haman: You know, we both work for the king, but compared to me, you are a g-nat. Mordecai (Pa Grape): It's a "G". Silent. It's "nat". Haman: Are you calling me a g-nat?! Mordecai: No. Just correctin' your pronunciation. Haman: ARE YOU CALLING ME STUPID?! Mordecai: Uh, no? Haman: You get in the wagon! You, bow to me! Mordecai (Pa Grape): Uh, no! Haman: Bow! Mordecai: No! Haman: BOW! Mordecai: I bow to no one except my God and my king! Haman: What should the punishment be for these two dangerous criminals, the most wanted peas in Persia, who appeared before you uninvited and tried to drop a piano on your head? King Xerxes: Well... Uh, let's see. It probably should be pretty stiff, huh? What do you think? Haman: I say, the punishment should be... Banishment to the Island of Perpetual Tickling!! [Markus (Larry), Mordecai, Esther, and Xerxes are all shocked.] Teresh: You don't mean... Bigthen: ...the island where you are tickled day and night?! Teresh: Night and day?! Bigthen: Without stop?! Teresh: Not even if you say "pretty please"?!? Bigthen and Teresh: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! [The Grim Tickler enters the room, and tickles the Peaoni Brothers with his large feather as he takes them away to the Island of Perpetual Tickling.] (Mordecai is walking when he spots the edict ordering him to be banished) Mordecai: Huh? What's this? (reads the edict) OY! (grabs the edict and runs back to the palace) ESSIE!!!! ESSIE! ESSIE! Esther: Cousin Mordecai? What is it? Mordecai: Oh, he's done it! He's finally done it! Esther: Who? Done what? Mordecai: Look! (shows Esther the edict) Esther: What's this? Mordecai: It's an edict! In just a few days, all of us, our whole family, will be sent to the Island of Perpetual Tickling! Esther: What?! Who... Who did this? Mordecai: Oh, who do you think? Haman! I told you he hates us! Hates our whole family! And-and now he's done it! He got the King to sign this, and-and we'll all be banished! quotes