The Way of the Gun quotes

View Quote Employee: What would you say qualifies you as a donor?
Parker: Well, I'd say I'm a fairly intelligent, good-looking man, physically fit, stable…
Employee: Ok... heterosexual?
Parker: [pause] Can I ask you something?
Employee: Sure.
Parker: Are you a ****?
[The employee, taken aback, doesn't respond.]
Parker: See, you asked me if I was heterosexual. I asked you the same question, only I was clear about the answer I was looking for.
Employee: I just asked if you were heterosexual.

View Quote Longbaugh: Well, I've never killed a man…
Employee: I beg your pardon?
Longbaugh: I said I've never killed a man.
Employee: I didn't ask if you had.
Longbaugh: You asked me why I think I was qualified, and I think that's qualification.
Employee: And I'm just wondering why that in particular strikes you as an important qualification for semen donation.
Longbaugh: I would say that's a big ****ing qualifica--excuse me, a very important qualification.
Employee: No one's ever said that before…
Longbaugh: Have you ever asked?
Employee: No.
Longbaugh: You should.

View Quote Longbaugh: Why is that a big deal?
Employee: Because nobody brings up sex with dead people!

Longbaugh: Course they don't, it's sick.
Employee: You brought it up.
Longbaugh: To say I never did it.
Employee: I didn't ask that.
Longbaugh: You should.

View Quote Longbaugh: You have too much faith in people.
Parker: How can you kidnap someone without it?

View Quote Parker: ****. Just say it.
Employee: No.
Parker: Just say it.
Employee: I'm not going to say that.
Parker: Don't you think it's funny that if I grab a woman's ass and she punches me, she's fighting for her rights, but if a **** grabs my ass and I punch his lights out, I'm a homophobe?
Employee: Let's just move on.
Parker: Are…you…a ****?
Employee: Any trace of mental illness in the family?
Parker: It's not what you say anymore, is it? It's all in how you say it.

View Quote Parker and Longbaugh lean against Bar Patron's car as the alarms go off
Bar Patron: Hey, hey. Yeah you, get up. What are you ****ed? Get off the ****ing car!
Raving Bitch: Hey dickless, get off the ****ing car! Hey ****suck, get your slippery ****ing ass off the car! Listen to me, get off the ****ing car with your ****ing ass!
Parker: Shut that ****s mouth or I'll come over there and ****start her head!
Bar Patron and Raving Bitch leave the line and menacingly approach Parker and Longbaugh
Raving Bitch: You're gonna wish you never ****ing got up this ****ing morning asshole, because my boyfriend's gonna **** you up! And then after that while he's ****ing up your ****ing gay uncle over there I'm gonna ****ing cut off your **** and mail it to your mother, you ****ing **** bitch! You gaylord ****ing bitch! How do you like that? You like that a lot you ****ing ****? You like to ass ****? Fontanella ****ing babyheads!
Bar Patron: Go ahead.
Raving Bitch: You like to **** babyheads? You like to **** boys? He's gonna **** you in the ass, how do you like that? He's not even gay but he'll do it just to **** wi…
Bar Patron: Honey honey. She's got a big mouth but she's not kidding. I'm gonna whip you silly and I'm gonna **** you stupid. You wanna do the man dance? First dance is yours.

View Quote [While kidnapping a pregnet woman named Robin in the hospital]:Parker: Allright guys I want this to go down nice and quiet. So put the guns down.
[The bodyguards do not respond]:Parker: Come on guys this is no good.
Longbaugh: Hey man. The people, the people.
Parker: Can't you people see we have guns here?
[The people do not move]:Parker: Get the **** out! Get out!
[After everyone leaves]:Parker: Alright guys, come on we've got you dead to it. Now I am gonna count to three.
[The guards **** their guns]:Longbaugh: Ah ****.
Parker: What the **** are you doing. You're supposed to be protecting her.
[The guards lower their guns down to Robin's stomach.]:Longbuagh: Ah ****. Man, what'd I tell you.
Robin: Walk away. Walk away. They don't care about dying, just losing. You're not gonna make it out of here alive. Someone could've called the cops by now, you know they're gonna come! Just walk away.

View Quote A heart is the only thing that has value. If you have one, get rid of it.

View Quote But, you know then you got the otherside. You got these trigger-happy ****s all about shooting and posturing and "you don't know who I am" kind of thing..."I been to prison".

View Quote Follow me Tonto.

View Quote I promise you a day of reckoning you won't live long enough to forget.

View Quote I think a plan is just a list of things that don't happen.

View Quote I'm the guy who you might see one day when you wake up with a pillow over your head, and the only thing you hear is a little bang.

View Quote Karma is justice without the satisfaction. I don't believe in justice.

View Quote Not money, 15 million dollars. Fifteen million dollars is not money, its a motive with a universal adaptor on it.