When Harry Met Sally... quotes
14 total quotes
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Harry: [while watching Casablanca] There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally: And Ingrid Bergman is low maintenance?
Harry: An L.M. Definitely.
Sally: Which one am I?
Harry: You're the worst kind; you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.
Sally: I don't see that.
Harry: You don't see that? Waiter, I'll begin with a house salad, but I don't want the regular dressing. I'll have the balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side. And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce on the side. "On the side" is a very big thing for you.
Sally: Well, I just want it the way I want it.
Harry: I know; high maintenance.
Sally: And Ingrid Bergman is low maintenance?
Harry: An L.M. Definitely.
Sally: Which one am I?
Harry: You're the worst kind; you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.
Sally: I don't see that.
Harry: You don't see that? Waiter, I'll begin with a house salad, but I don't want the regular dressing. I'll have the balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side. And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce on the side. "On the side" is a very big thing for you.
Sally: Well, I just want it the way I want it.
Harry: I know; high maintenance.
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Harry: I knew the whole time that even though we were happy, it was just an illusion and that one day she would kick the shit out of me.
Jess: Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity - it's just a symptom that something else is wrong.
Harry: Oh really? Well, that symptom is ****ing my wife.
Jess: Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity - it's just a symptom that something else is wrong.
Harry: Oh really? Well, that symptom is ****ing my wife.
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Harry: I've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.
Sally: What?
Harry: I love you.
Sally: How do you expect me to respond to this?
Harry: How about, you love me too?
Sally: How about, I'm leaving?
Harry: Doesn't what I said mean anything to you?
Sally: I'm sorry, Harry. I know it's New Year's Eve. I know you're feeling lonely, but you just can't show up here, tell me you love me, and expect that to make everything all right. It doesn't work this way.
Harry: Well, how does it work?
Sally: I don't know, but not this way.
Harry: How about this way? I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Sally: You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you, and I hate you, Harry. I really hate you. I hate you.
[They kiss]
Sally: What?
Harry: I love you.
Sally: How do you expect me to respond to this?
Harry: How about, you love me too?
Sally: How about, I'm leaving?
Harry: Doesn't what I said mean anything to you?
Sally: I'm sorry, Harry. I know it's New Year's Eve. I know you're feeling lonely, but you just can't show up here, tell me you love me, and expect that to make everything all right. It doesn't work this way.
Harry: Well, how does it work?
Sally: I don't know, but not this way.
Harry: How about this way? I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Sally: You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you, and I hate you, Harry. I really hate you. I hate you.
[They kiss]
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Harry: When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.
Sally: That doesn't mean you're deep or anything. I mean, yes, basically I'm a happy person...
Harry: So am I.
Sally: ...and I don't see that there's anything wrong with that.
Harry: Of course not. You're too busy being happy. Do you ever think about death?
Sally: Yes.
Harry: Sure you do. A fleeting thought that drifts in and out of the transom of your mind. I spend hours, I spend days...
Sally: - and you think this makes you a better person?
Harry: Look, when the shit comes down, I'm gonna be prepared and you're not, that's all I'm saying.
Sally: And in the meantime, you're gonna ruin your whole life waiting for it.
Sally: That doesn't mean you're deep or anything. I mean, yes, basically I'm a happy person...
Harry: So am I.
Sally: ...and I don't see that there's anything wrong with that.
Harry: Of course not. You're too busy being happy. Do you ever think about death?
Sally: Yes.
Harry: Sure you do. A fleeting thought that drifts in and out of the transom of your mind. I spend hours, I spend days...
Sally: - and you think this makes you a better person?
Harry: Look, when the shit comes down, I'm gonna be prepared and you're not, that's all I'm saying.
Sally: And in the meantime, you're gonna ruin your whole life waiting for it.
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Harry: Why can't we get past this? I mean, are we gonna carry this thing around forever?
Sally: Forever? It just happened!
Harry: It happened three weeks ago. You know how a year to a person is like seven years to a dog?
Sally: Yes. Is one of us supposed to be a dog in this scenario?
Harry: Yes.
Sally: Who is the dog?
Harry: You are.
Sally: I am? I am the dog? I am the dog?
Harry: Um-hmm.
Sally: I am the dog. I-I don't see that, Harry. If anybody is the dog, you are the dog. You want to act like what happened didn't mean anything.
Harry: I'm not saying it didn't mean anything. I am saying why does it have to mean everything?
Sally: Because it does! And you should know that better than anybody because the minute that it happens, you walk right out the door.
Harry: I didn't walk out.
Sally: No, sprinted is more like it.
Harry: We both agreed it was a mistake.
Sally: The worst mistake I ever made.
Harry: What do you want from me?
Sally: I don't want anything from you!
Harry: Fine. Fine, but let's just get one thing straight. I did not go over there that night to make love to you, that is not why I went there. But you looked up at me with these big weepy eyes, don't go home night Harry, hold me a little longer Harry. What was I supposed to do?
Sally: What are you saying, you took pity on me?
Harry: No, I was...
Sally: **** you! [slaps Harry]
Sally: Forever? It just happened!
Harry: It happened three weeks ago. You know how a year to a person is like seven years to a dog?
Sally: Yes. Is one of us supposed to be a dog in this scenario?
Harry: Yes.
Sally: Who is the dog?
Harry: You are.
Sally: I am? I am the dog? I am the dog?
Harry: Um-hmm.
Sally: I am the dog. I-I don't see that, Harry. If anybody is the dog, you are the dog. You want to act like what happened didn't mean anything.
Harry: I'm not saying it didn't mean anything. I am saying why does it have to mean everything?
Sally: Because it does! And you should know that better than anybody because the minute that it happens, you walk right out the door.
Harry: I didn't walk out.
Sally: No, sprinted is more like it.
Harry: We both agreed it was a mistake.
Sally: The worst mistake I ever made.
Harry: What do you want from me?
Sally: I don't want anything from you!
Harry: Fine. Fine, but let's just get one thing straight. I did not go over there that night to make love to you, that is not why I went there. But you looked up at me with these big weepy eyes, don't go home night Harry, hold me a little longer Harry. What was I supposed to do?
Sally: What are you saying, you took pity on me?
Harry: No, I was...
Sally: **** you! [slaps Harry]
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Harry: Would you like to have dinner? ...Just friends.
Sally: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.
Harry: When did I say that?
Sally: On the ride to New York.
Harry: No, no, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends...unless both of them are involved with other people. Then they can. This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted. That doesn't work either. Because what happens then is the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with, like it means something is missing from the relationship and wanted to go outside to get it. Then when you say, 'No, no, no, no, it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship,' the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are - I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it - which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends. So where does it leave us?
Sally: Goodbye Harry.
Sally: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.
Harry: When did I say that?
Sally: On the ride to New York.
Harry: No, no, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends...unless both of them are involved with other people. Then they can. This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted. That doesn't work either. Because what happens then is the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with, like it means something is missing from the relationship and wanted to go outside to get it. Then when you say, 'No, no, no, no, it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship,' the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are - I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it - which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends. So where does it leave us?
Sally: Goodbye Harry.
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Harry: You know you just get to a certain point where you get tired of the whole thing.
Sally: What "whole thing"?
Harry: The whole life-of-a-single-guy thing. You meet someone, you have the safe lunch, you decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner. You go dancing, you do the white-man's over-bite, go back to her place, you have sex and the minute you're finished you know what goes through your mind? How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home. Is thirty seconds enough?
Sally: That's what you're thinking? Is that true?
Harry: Sure! All men think that. How long do you want to be held afterwards? All night, right? See there's your problem, somewhere between thirty seconds and all night is your problem.
Sally: I don't have a problem!
Harry: Yeah you do.
Sally: What "whole thing"?
Harry: The whole life-of-a-single-guy thing. You meet someone, you have the safe lunch, you decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner. You go dancing, you do the white-man's over-bite, go back to her place, you have sex and the minute you're finished you know what goes through your mind? How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home. Is thirty seconds enough?
Sally: That's what you're thinking? Is that true?
Harry: Sure! All men think that. How long do you want to be held afterwards? All night, right? See there's your problem, somewhere between thirty seconds and all night is your problem.
Sally: I don't have a problem!
Harry: Yeah you do.
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Harry: You know, the first time we met, I really didn't like you that much -
Sally: I didn't like you.
Harry: Yeah you did. You were just so uptight then. You're much softer now.
Sally: You know, I hate that kind of remark. It sounds like a compliment, but really it's an insult.
Harry: OK, you're still as hard as nails.
Sally: I just didn't want to sleep with you, and you had to write it off as a character flaw instead of dealing with the possibility that it might have something to do with you.
Harry: What's the statute of limitations on apologies?
Sally: Ten years.
Harry: Ooh. I can just get it in under the wire.
Sally: Harry, would you like to have dinner with me sometime?
Harry: Great. A woman friend. You know, you may be the first attractive woman I've not wanted to sleep with in my entire life.
Sally: That's great, Harry.
Sally: I didn't like you.
Harry: Yeah you did. You were just so uptight then. You're much softer now.
Sally: You know, I hate that kind of remark. It sounds like a compliment, but really it's an insult.
Harry: OK, you're still as hard as nails.
Sally: I just didn't want to sleep with you, and you had to write it off as a character flaw instead of dealing with the possibility that it might have something to do with you.
Harry: What's the statute of limitations on apologies?
Sally: Ten years.
Harry: Ooh. I can just get it in under the wire.
Sally: Harry, would you like to have dinner with me sometime?
Harry: Great. A woman friend. You know, you may be the first attractive woman I've not wanted to sleep with in my entire life.
Sally: That's great, Harry.
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Harry: You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry: Guess not.
Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person that I knew in New York.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry: Guess not.
Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person that I knew in New York.
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Jess: I don't understand this relationship.
Harry: What do you mean?
Jess: You enjoy being with her?
Harry: Yeah.
Jess: You find her attractive?
Harry: Yeah.
Jess: And you're not sleeping with her.
Harry: No.
Jess: You're afraid to let yourself be happy.
Harry: Why can't you give me credit for this? This is a big thing for me. I never had a relationship with a woman that didn't involve sex. I feel like I'm growing.
...
Harry: It's very freeing. I can say anything to her.
Jess: Are you saying you can say things to her you can't say to me?
Harry: Nah, it's just different. It's a whole new perspective. I get the woman's point of view on things. She tells me about the men she goes out with and I can talk to her about the women that I see.
Jess: You tell her about other women.
Harry: Yeah. Like the other night. I made love to this woman, and it was so incredible, I took her to a place that wasn't human, she actually meowed.
Jess: You made a woman meow?
Harry: Yeah. That's the point, I can say these things to her. And the great thing is, I don't have to lie because I'm not always thinking about how to get her into bed. I can just be myself.
Jess: You made a woman meow?
Harry: What do you mean?
Jess: You enjoy being with her?
Harry: Yeah.
Jess: You find her attractive?
Harry: Yeah.
Jess: And you're not sleeping with her.
Harry: No.
Jess: You're afraid to let yourself be happy.
Harry: Why can't you give me credit for this? This is a big thing for me. I never had a relationship with a woman that didn't involve sex. I feel like I'm growing.
...
Harry: It's very freeing. I can say anything to her.
Jess: Are you saying you can say things to her you can't say to me?
Harry: Nah, it's just different. It's a whole new perspective. I get the woman's point of view on things. She tells me about the men she goes out with and I can talk to her about the women that I see.
Jess: You tell her about other women.
Harry: Yeah. Like the other night. I made love to this woman, and it was so incredible, I took her to a place that wasn't human, she actually meowed.
Jess: You made a woman meow?
Harry: Yeah. That's the point, I can say these things to her. And the great thing is, I don't have to lie because I'm not always thinking about how to get her into bed. I can just be myself.
Jess: You made a woman meow?
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Sally: [Crying hysterically] And I'm going to be forty!
Harry: When?
Sally: Someday!
Harry: In eight years!
Sally: But it's there! It's like a big dead end! And it's not the same for men -- Charlie Chaplin had kids in his 70's!
Harry: Yeah, but he was too old to pick them up.
Harry: When?
Sally: Someday!
Harry: In eight years!
Sally: But it's there! It's like a big dead end! And it's not the same for men -- Charlie Chaplin had kids in his 70's!
Harry: Yeah, but he was too old to pick them up.
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Sally: I don't have to take this crap from you.
Harry: If you're so over Joe, why aren't you seeing anyone?
Sally: I see people.
Harry: See people? Have you slept with one person since you broke up with Joe?
Sally: What the hell does that have to do with anything? That will prove I'm over Joe? Because I **** somebody? Harry, you're gonna have to move back to New Jersey because you've slept with everybody in New York and I don't see that turning Helen into a faint memory for you. Besides, I will make love to somebody when it is making love. Not the way you do it like you're out for revenge or something.
Harry: Are you finished now?
Sally: Yes.
Harry: Can I say something?
Sally: Yes.
Harry: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Harry: If you're so over Joe, why aren't you seeing anyone?
Sally: I see people.
Harry: See people? Have you slept with one person since you broke up with Joe?
Sally: What the hell does that have to do with anything? That will prove I'm over Joe? Because I **** somebody? Harry, you're gonna have to move back to New Jersey because you've slept with everybody in New York and I don't see that turning Helen into a faint memory for you. Besides, I will make love to somebody when it is making love. Not the way you do it like you're out for revenge or something.
Harry: Are you finished now?
Sally: Yes.
Harry: Can I say something?
Sally: Yes.
Harry: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
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Sally: I went to bed at 7... 30 last night. I haven't done that since the 3rd grade.
Harry: That's the good thing about depression. You get your rest.
Harry: That's the good thing about depression. You get your rest.
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Sally: You know, I am so glad I never got involved with you. I just would have ended up being some woman you had to get up out of bed and leave at three o'clock in the morning and go clean your andirons. And you don't even have a fireplace.
Harry: Why are you getting so upset about this?
Sally: You are a human affront to all women. And I am a woman.
Harry: I think they have an OK time.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: What do you mean how do I know? I know.
Sally: Because they...
Harry: Yes, because they...
Sally: And how do you know that they really...
Harry: What are you saying, that they fake orgasm?
Sally: It's possible.
Harry: Get outta here!
Sally: Why? Most women at one time or another have faked it.
Harry: Well they haven't faked it with me.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because I know.
Sally: Oh, right, that's right, I forgot, you're a man.
Harry: What is that supposed to mean?
Sally: Nothing. It's just that all men are sure it never happened to them and that most women at one time or another have done it so you do the math.
Harry: You don't think that I could tell the difference?
Sally: No.
Harry: Get outta here.
[Sally begins to fake an orgasm]
Harry: Are you OK?
[Sally continues very audibly, attracting the attention of nearly every customer in the cafe. Afterwards, she returns to eating her dessert]
Older Woman Customer: [to waiter] I'll have what she's having. Note: the bolded line is ranked #33 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.
Harry: Why are you getting so upset about this?
Sally: You are a human affront to all women. And I am a woman.
Harry: I think they have an OK time.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: What do you mean how do I know? I know.
Sally: Because they...
Harry: Yes, because they...
Sally: And how do you know that they really...
Harry: What are you saying, that they fake orgasm?
Sally: It's possible.
Harry: Get outta here!
Sally: Why? Most women at one time or another have faked it.
Harry: Well they haven't faked it with me.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because I know.
Sally: Oh, right, that's right, I forgot, you're a man.
Harry: What is that supposed to mean?
Sally: Nothing. It's just that all men are sure it never happened to them and that most women at one time or another have done it so you do the math.
Harry: You don't think that I could tell the difference?
Sally: No.
Harry: Get outta here.
[Sally begins to fake an orgasm]
Harry: Are you OK?
[Sally continues very audibly, attracting the attention of nearly every customer in the cafe. Afterwards, she returns to eating her dessert]
Older Woman Customer: [to waiter] I'll have what she's having. Note: the bolded line is ranked #33 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.